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He asked if I'd like to marry him?

I met my boyfriend online and we've been together for just 3 months. He's 5 years older than me(I'm 25) and often talks about marriage and having kids but usually makes a joke of it. I do feel like I see a future with him and he says the same.

The other night we were watching 'Don't tell the bride' and he said 'Do you want to marry me?' I was shocked and said 'I don't know it's too soon to be thinking about that' and he seemed a little disappointed! Do you think he was digging? Or just joking? I know he doesn't mean 'Right now'...

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Sounds like he's a bit of a clingy keeno tbh. Try and keep him at arms length for a bit longer, 3 months is waaay too early to be mentioning marriage.
Perhaps he was joking or maybe he was making a reference for the future, but no way you should marry him now if he was serious 3 months is too short to even consider the relationship as serious let alone talk of marriage.
Reply 3
I definitely wouldn't agree to marriage yet! I think he's feeling the pressure as his friends are all getting married and having babies and he wants to secure a future
Original post by Anonymous
I definitely wouldn't agree to marriage yet! I think he's feeling the pressure as his friends are all getting married and having babies and he wants to secure a future


Fail :lol:
Dude, you made the thread and you're posting on it? :rofl: I think you forgot to take off the anon thing.
Well there you go. You've answered your own question.
Original post by thechemistress
Fail :lol:
Dude, you made the thread and you're posting on it? :rofl: I think you forgot to take off the anon thing.
Well there you go. You've answered your own question.


I think she was just replying to the posts above but forgot to quote? Haha
Reply 6
Not really...I'm posing the question of if he would be being serious at such an early stage?
Reply 7
Original post by thechemistress
Fail :lol:
Dude, you made the thread and you're posting on it? :rofl: I think you forgot to take off the anon thing.
Well there you go. You've answered your own question.


Not fail...and I'm not a dude...grow up.
Three months seems a bit soon, but some do like to get married quicker. It all depends what you think, how much you know him, how much you like him and whether you are ready for such a commitment.
Original post by LavenderBlueSky88
I think she was just replying to the posts above but forgot to quote? Haha


Oh phew xD I thought she was one of those weird anons that makes a thread and then replies to themselves. I've seen it happen quite a few times xD

Original post by Anonymous
Not fail...and I'm not a dude...grow up.


'Dude' can be used when referring to females.
Sounds very clingy to me, I just get that impression. 3 months is a ridiculous amount of time to be dating someone prior to a proposal. And don't you want to be with a guy who does it properly? The whole proposal shbang? When you're good and ready? Not after 3 freaking months..
Also, I reckon 25 and 30 is too much of an age difference, 25 is still a bit young and a bit daft and a bit silly.. and 30 is going into the serious-reading-to-settle-down-and-have-kids.. I'd get someone your own age..
My husband proposed to me after we had been together 3 months (we got together 14th July and he proposed on 19th October). He was very serious, yes, so don't assume your boyfriend isn't serious. Sometimes you just have a feeling that it's the right thing to do. If he feels as though you're the right person for him, what benefit is hanging around waiting? After all, he's 30. Maybe he wants to start a family with you and so on.
Original post by Emememily733
Sounds very clingy to me, I just get that impression. 3 months is a ridiculous amount of time to be dating someone prior to a proposal. And don't you want to be with a guy who does it properly? The whole proposal shbang? When you're good and ready? Not after 3 freaking months..
Also, I reckon 25 and 30 is too much of an age difference, 25 is still a bit young and a bit daft and a bit silly.. and 30 is going into the serious-reading-to-settle-down-and-have-kids.. I'd get someone your own age..


My other half proposed to me after only 3 months, and at the time I was 17 and he was 24, so an even bigger age gap than the OP and her boyfriend.

We got married and had our first child when I was 21 and he was 28.

Okay I'm in the minority with my situation, but it's not like it's a bad situation.
Original post by PinkMobilePhone
My other half proposed to me after only 3 months, and at the time I was 17 and he was 24, so an even bigger age gap than the OP and her boyfriend.

We got married and had our first child when I was 21 and he was 28.

Okay I'm in the minority with my situation, but it's not like it's a bad situation.


Totally get that that's your situation/life choice and I'm sure it worked out fine for you -
but my opinion is that in general I wouldn't reccomend that to other people because I think it's important for people to get a sense of their lives, careers, futures first before getting married and 17 seems so, so young to me. And in the OP's case, 25 and 30 will have different priorities in life.. and then divorce statistics for under 25's and 25-29 years olds are so high.. I think it's better to wait a while.
Also, I just feel that 3 months is too short a time for anyone to know whether they can spend the rest of their life with that other person, you only know their sunny side at that point - it's a massive gamble and I just can't ever see myself thinking that it's a good thing to do..
Original post by Emememily733
Totally get that that's your situation/life choice and I'm sure it worked out fine for you -
but my opinion is that in general I wouldn't reccomend that to other people because I think it's important for people to get a sense of their lives, careers, futures first before getting married and 17 seems so, so young to me. And in the OP's case, 25 and 30 will have different priorities in life.. and then divorce statistics for under 25's and 25-29 years olds are so high.. I think it's better to wait a while.
Also, I just feel that 3 months is too short a time for anyone to know whether they can spend the rest of their life with that other person, you only know their sunny side at that point - it's a massive gamble and I just can't ever see myself thinking that it's a good thing to do..


I think it entirely depends on the couple in general.

Anyway, you're assuming that a 25 year old wouldn't want to settle down and start a family. That seems really odd to me, as I've known (and still do know) many 25 year olds who are happily settled and with children.

Perhaps it just depends on your social circle.

Either way I think it's up to the OP. If she's not ready for that, then fair enough, but if she is, then that's also great.
Original post by thechemistress
Oh phew xD I thought she was one of those weird anons that makes a thread and then replies to themselves. I've seen it happen quite a few times xD



'Dude' can be used when referring to females.


So you've insulted the girl and then been told she isn't replying to her thread and you still haven't apologised? Wow. Ok. Bitch alert.
Original post by Emememily733
Totally get that that's your situation/life choice and I'm sure it worked out fine for you -
but my opinion is that in general I wouldn't reccomend that to other people because I think it's important for people to get a sense of their lives, careers, futures first before getting married and 17 seems so, so young to me. And in the OP's case, 25 and 30 will have different priorities in life.. and then divorce statistics for under 25's and 25-29 years olds are so high.. I think it's better to wait a while.
Also, I just feel that 3 months is too short a time for anyone to know whether they can spend the rest of their life with that other person, you only know their sunny side at that point - it's a massive gamble and I just can't ever see myself thinking that it's a good thing to do..


I agree with you wholeheartedly. I would say 2 years is the maximum time to know someone before getting married. Marriage is a life time commitment, so it should be treated seriously. I don't agree on the age gap though, men are very immature in contrast to women. Men or rather boys :rolleyes: at the age of 25, won't want to get married tbh. A 5 year age gap is okay.
Original post by Emememily733
So you've insulted the girl and then been told she isn't replying to her thread and you still haven't apologised? Wow. Ok. Bitch alert.


Apologised for..? I didn't insult her, I said 'fail'. I should have apologised yes, but I don't see how that makes me a 'bitch' as you so eloquently put it.
Original post by Anonymous
I met my boyfriend online and we've been together for just 3 months. He's 5 years older than me(I'm 25) and often talks about marriage and having kids but usually makes a joke of it. I do feel like I see a future with him and he says the same.

The other night we were watching 'Don't tell the bride' and he said 'Do you want to marry me?' I was shocked and said 'I don't know it's too soon to be thinking about that' and he seemed a little disappointed! Do you think he was digging? Or just joking? I know he doesn't mean 'Right now'...


He is 30

He does not want to waste time on a relationship that is going nowhere


I suggest that you talk to him - ask if he was serious - discuss how much/little commitment you both want at this stage
Original post by thechemistress
Apologised for..? I didn't insult her, I said 'fail'. I should have apologised yes, but I don't see how that makes me a 'bitch' as you so eloquently put it.


Pretty sure you called her a "weird anon".. And anyway, it wasn't exactly nice how you accused her of doing something she hadn't and then didn't apologise - If you're wrong about something you should hold your hands up - period.
(edited 9 years ago)

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