Can men and women just be friends?

Hi there,

this is something that's bugged me for a while, it always feels as if society tells us that males and females cannot be friends just platonically. Is this right? I want to know your thoughts as this is something I have experienced and I still don't know what to think.

Hopefully I won't be too long winded in my story ^^;

Right, I had this guy friend who I was very close to (platonically!) and we were great friends, and saw each other as good as siblings. There had been absolutely no history between us in that sense, not even so much as been attracted to each other, just good friends- couldn't be any more platonic!

Down the line I got a boyfriend and it was my guy friend who I told all about how I liked him etc, my boyfriend had met my guy friend and had no issue with it because he saw how we acted round each other etc.
Best part of a year later, my guy friend gets a girlfriend. She is not quite as understanding. The first time we met, which was as two couples, we got on like at an absolute house on fire, I was so happy for my friend because at that point I thought she was lovely.

Then the next time I saw her was at my friends bday. Didn't speak to her that much but she was in a right mood the entire time and effectively ruined his bday as he had to spend hours trying to reason with her etc. But I just saw it as a one off and didn't judge as I didn't know her well then. But apparently she had got drunk before and attempted to start arguments. The next time was something I organised, I wanted to meet up with them both as a couple to get to know her better so I organised that with him, then she kinda took over and invited a load of her friends along too, so kinda detracting from why I wanted to meet up. :/ Things moved along quick with them and they moved in together and that's when it got worse cause then he said that we can't meet up any more, we had met originally as part of a group so everytime the group met she was there too.

I was annoyed. I felt as if she was controlling him and I always had him down as a strong enough character but evidently not. My boyfriend didn't have an issue with us as friends so why should she? It was annoying as well because I felt as if I made the effort to be friends with her because I genuinely wanted to be friends and it felt a bit thrown back in my face. I even invited to her to my bday for him and I never got invited to hers. I even tried to get us all to meet up as two couples again and it was me who was doing all the talking to her, she hardly made the effort to either me or my boyfriend. I was sick of trying to get her approval.

I never tried to get involved with them and I only voiced concern to him when it seemed as if she was trying to control him because that's what friends do right? It was horrible knowing that they had even argued over me. But why? I can assure you I am not covering anything, I really cannot think of anything that I could have done to make her dislike me so much, even after I saw her as part of a group after the initial stuff happened I was *still* friendly to her even though I'm sure many wouldn't have blamed me had I given her a cold shoulder. She hated another female friend of his then decided she liked her and idk if this is me thinking too highly of myself (lol) but she sucked up to her on FB but commenting and liking stuff, I dunno if that was some cheap attempt to rub my face in it :/

Ok, hope that wasn't too long winded, there is more that I could say but I wanted to get the main bits. Just to say, me and this guy don't talk anymore. lol.
When I've talked about the situation to people they seem to either be on my side or they think it was iffy that I was friends with him! The latter annoys me, because as I say it wasn't as if I was too full on as in always being around him or anything and just the fact that me and my boyfriend were together longer anyway!

The latter response screams of society saying men and women cannot be friends...
But is this true? Is it right? Even though I don't feel as if I'm in the wrong am I just for being friends with him? Have you ever had anything like this happen to you even though it's clear you'd be no threat whatsoever?

I'm really curious guys!

Can men and women just be friends?

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