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Why do women very rarely approach men?

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Reply 160

username202925

Original post by Advanced Subsidiary

What's wrong with British girls' attitudes?

i have no idea but when i'm in asia i feel more comfortable :smile:

Actually funnily enough i meet nicer british girls in asia too, probably because they are not narrow minded.

Reply 161

322394

Original post by Flyingaround

I think most don't approach men because they assume that if men like them they'll go upto them and then there's some that believe that's the way it should be. Like holding a door open for a girl or paying for their meal. I don't treat girls any different to how i treat males in that respect.

But if you were interested in a girl you would go up and talk to her right?

Reply 162

cookieqt

Sometimes they're just not interested. Nothing personal.
If they're like me, they're too shy to approach the guy...especially in front of their guy friends :blushing:

(I only get shy though when I have a crush on him)

Reply 163

AmbitiousLlady

I think when he/she really likes the other, he/she will approach them. (Though, many women by society rules have learnt to wait for him to make the move- which is something that can't be denied)

Personally, I don't think it's a gender things as much as it is mostly of confidence, courage, shyness, will, ect.

Reply 164

ArtGoblin

Original post by Advanced Subsidiary

How did you survive? Stoke is just.... I won't say anymore. :pinch:

It is my hometown so I didn't know any better! And it does have some positives; the people are really nice and we have oatcakes. Most importantly, it makes everywhere else look amazing in comparison!

Reply 165

Howbeit

I think girls are a lot more subtle in demonstrating their affection for you. I've had a girl approach me once but apart from that no. I do think gender is relevant though. I'm usually too clueless to pick up signs and reserved to do anything about it!

Reply 166

cole-slaw

Original post by SickBrah

You give the worst advice and have no idea what you're talking about.

If you think good looking men get approached as much as good looking women you're an idiot.

My ex (she was beautiful) told me she got approached 8 times in one day, I am handsome and 8 times in one month would be crazy.

You can humble brag on here all you like.

Also lol@PUA women hating ha.

My conclusion is, you are not nearly as handsome as you think you are.

Women often get harassed in the street by psychopaths. That's probably what she meant but it is not the same thing at all.

Reply 167

username1027456

Original post by cole-slaw

Probability of being approached scales with attractiveness.

As a group, I don't think we're unusually attractive. Possibly slightly higher than average, hence I think we get approached at a rate probably slightly higher than average.

I think the problem we have on this thread is unattractive men observe they do not get approached much, but rather than doing something about improving their chances, they simply incorrectly conclude that this dilemma applies to all men.

I think you are right in saying that men here think that 9/10 times the male approaches. I would think that figure... from my experience is around 6 or 7/10 the guy approaches, because lets not ignore the social conditioning that even when a male and female clearly like each other, the guy is expected to approach thus being gentelmanly.

Reply 168

ontrack7

Original post by LonelyDemon

I get lots of female attention simply by hanging out with friends who are girls, i pressume that makes me more approachable seen being decent to girls so girls come up to me quite often. I get it less hanging out with guys.

Answering the whole black women thing, from my own experience the best chat up I've had was from a black woman. She approached me in my uni library, she said seen me about and came up to me, gave me her number and gave compliments. I was blown back by this because how she did it.

I thought i wouldn't have anything in common with her and I admit i stereotyped her as someone who only listens to R&B/rap music and uncultured but I was so wrong to judge like that as we shared so many interests. She is incredibly intelligent and down to earth and I think she is attractive.

So are you saying that if a black girl mainly listens to rnb and rap she is likely to be uncultured?

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Reply 169

Alisa59

I wouldn't want to approach a guy. Let them approach me. That is the appropriate thing to do.
By the way, why would I approach them since I had many admirers who flirt, stare, annoy, or give a conversation to me? XD

Reply 170

MrSupernova

They do once they've got some alcohol down their necks... Go to a festival or somewhere like Ayia Napa and there's a fair chance you'll spend half your time having some girl's arse thrusted into your crotch

Reply 171

ontrack7

Original post by cole-slaw

99% of white people in the UK see black people the same way that blonde people see brunettes.

So please explain to me how blonde people see brunettes ( am not trying to be coy, really just want to know what you mean)

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Reply 172

FutureHeartSurg

Because they don't have the balls to ask someone out :tongue:

On a more serious note, a lot of women have approached me and out of my friends who are currently in relationships, the women mostly the ones who instigated. I've found that a rather healthy number of women approach men....

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 173

Chicken.M.

Original post by equality .

women are tentative about approaching men as we often don't know what they're going to be like or how they'll react to things, ie are they violent etc.

so pretty much the same reason men don't approach

Reply 174

FutureHeartSurg

Original post by Alisa59

That's just boring... it's always a lot more fun when two are playing the game :tongue:

Reply 175

ontrack7

Original post by xoflower

But we don't want to be seen as different. We don't want guys with a fetish.

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This. It's a genuine worry that if a white guy or any guy from another race likes you, they might only like you cause they have a weird fetish. They want you to fufill the stereotypical black girl role. Twerk, em how about NO.

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(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 176

SophieSmall

Girl here, and have approached the opposite sex.
I don't have a clue past societal nonsense why it's not more common.

Reply 177

StotheR

In all honesty it's dependent on where you live/age group/your ideals etc

Most of my friends (both male and female) have no problem approaching the opposite sex, in fact if a friend of mine told me they were thinking about asking someone out on a date I'd totally try to help out in any way possible.

I have noticed that some people are less like that though, instead encouraging their friends to take the plunge they tell them to do the complete opposite.

Personally, as a female, I get approached by boys but I usually have to approach a girl if I want to ask her out. But in my area it's very common for a girl to ask a guy out without it being classed as weird.

Reply 178

username202925

Original post by 322394

But if you were interested in a girl you would go up and talk to her right?

The thing is though, instead of them giving a polite sorry and a smile, i get the feeling that here i would be met with a horrible attitude and a smirk.