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Dilemma - 2 girls I have strong feelings for

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Defo first girl now :yy:

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by dylantombides
I haven't told the full story as I probably shouldn't say it on here but the fact that she's probably never going to see and if she does, hard to prove that I'm referring to her. Anyway: She was raped as a child by the guy her mum was dating (her real dad is dead). She then went anorexic and depressed and then dated LOADS of guys basically for someone to chat to about her problems. This could be around 30 guys or more. She never had sex with any of them and she said only 4 of them were serious relationships and the rest were more someone to help her out. A fair amount of them she has kissed. Some of them she even met online. Broke up with most of them as the majority seemed to want sex which she wouldn't do.


Do you not want her?
Reply 22
The second one has a relationship ffs and if shes willing to jump ship for you be sure she would do it again.

The first one deserves better than you. You speak quite lowly of her tbh. Not social how shes a virgin etc.

You are focused on looks and getting laid in my mind. Leave the first so she can find a nice guy. Go with the second.

In 1 years time you will regret the decision but you wont stay with the first.
Original post by King Max
Do you not want her?


I do, but the 2nd girl I really like too. I enjoy being round the first girl but it's hard to see how far it'll actually go. Also because she was previously depressed (kind of recovered from it but she does have her periods where she gets miserable) it is hard work and I think it's wrong to leave her for something like that, but at the end of the day when she is upset so much of the time how am I meant to enjoy the relationship? Relationships are meant to be happy experiences for both people really. I probably sound stupid and greedy but I can't really help it that I like the 2nd girl too.
Original post by dylantombides
I do, but the 2nd girl I really like too. I enjoy being round the first girl but it's hard to see how far it'll actually go. Also because she was previously depressed (kind of recovered from it but she does have her periods where she gets miserable) it is hard work and I think it's wrong to leave her for something like that, but at the end of the day when she is upset so much of the time how am I meant to enjoy the relationship? Relationships are meant to be happy experiences for both people really. I probably sound stupid and greedy but I can't really help it that I like the 2nd girl too.


It is hard work but your support and love is what she needs.You need to make your own mind up about what to do but think of her reaction.
Original post by Jakeh
The second one has a relationship ffs and if shes willing to jump ship for you be sure she would do it again.

The first one deserves better than you. You speak quite lowly of her tbh. Not social how shes a virgin etc.

You are focused on looks and getting laid in my mind. Leave the first so she can find a nice guy. Go with the second.

In 1 years time you will regret the decision but you wont stay with the first.


I'm not basing it off getting laid at all as I could easily be with her without sex for years. I don't base it solely off looks but you obviously need to be attracted to the girl. Youve presumed that 'not social' and 'virgin' were 2 negatives. I never made it out that way in my post at all. They are neutrals - not being social means she's less likely to chat up other guys but also it can be hard to have a free-flowing conversation with her and the virginity thing suggests she'd actually love me for myself.
-- UPDATED POST -- Please read the edit for update/more details on them
Reply 27
I would firm the 2nd one and make the other one your insurance.
Original post by Clip
I would firm the 2nd one and make the other one your insurance.


Lol

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Clip
I would firm the 2nd one and make the other one your insurance.

Even though this didn't help, you made me laugh! Such a TSR style answer
I think neither, since you're having doubts.

Girl number one doesn't deserve to be lead on. She's gone through enough and I think it would hurt less if you break up with her now rather than keep her while going on 'dates' and thinking about the other girl. It sounds like it won't end well. She deserves better.

Girl number two has a boyfriend. Stop hanging out with her after work since you're developing feelings for her and you can't control it. She shouldn't even be an option!
I think you should probably distance yourself a bit from girl 2, since she has a boyfriend and it's unlikely to happen. If you keep hanging out together and having trips to Nandos together, your feelings are only going to get stronger. I also think you should consider whether you actually want to be with girl 1, or if you just want to be with someone. From what you've written, aside from her looks you don't sound that enthusiastic about her.
How is she a virgin if she got raped 0.o
Original post by Secretnerd123
How is she a virgin if she got raped 0.o


Well she's never chosen to have sex
There is a parable about this issue I think you should read.

A man is trying to decide which girl to go out with so he gives each of the 3 $5000
The first one went out and got a total makeover with the money. She then tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much."

The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, a stereo and gave them to the man. She said, "I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much."
The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much."
The man thought hard and long about how each of the women had spent the money, he then decided to go out with the one with the biggest tits.
(edited 9 years ago)
Men are so typical lmaooo.
Original post by Jackoclypse
There is a parable about this issue I think you should read.

A man is trying to decide which girl to go out with so he gives each of the 3 $5000
The first one went out and got a total makeover with the money. She then tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much."

The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, a stereo and gave them to the man. She said, "I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much."
The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much."
The man thought hard and long about how each of the women had spent the money, he then decided to go out with the one with the biggest tits.
Original post by dylantombides
Well she's never chosen to have sex


I understand that but shes technucally NOT a virgin and can't be classed as one
Original post by iEatMuFFiNS
To see if they are witches?


aha :lol:
Original post by Secretnerd123
I understand that but shes technucally NOT a virgin and can't be classed as one


Why is that relevent at all? She probably still classes herself as a virgin and I don't blame her. :\ She'd be constantly be reminded that her 'first' was her being raped. Think about it.

OP - Either way you need to make up your mind, the 1st girl doesn't need more hurt in her life...

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