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Dilemma - 2 girls I have strong feelings for

I'm seeing this girl, love her to bits but there's this other girl I work with I've found attractive before I was seeing the original girl. The girl I work with is seeing someone herself but we've always kind of flirted (never anything else) and i know she finds me good looking.

The other day we went to the gym together then nandos after, and I then dropped her home in my car around midnight (wasn't really a date though). But when I got home, I realised how much I actually like her and have strong feelings for her. I now don't know what to do. I didn't sleep well as she was on my mind.

Thing is I really like them both. I know you should be loyal but there's nothing really I can do if I develop feelings for both of them - can't control that!


I never told the girl I work with I'm seeing another girl. I guess it's because I must have liked her too and in case things didn't work with the initial girl. I've also never told the girl I work with that I actually really like her. Do you think I should? Thing is, I only sometimes see her out of work so it's hard (I'd want to do it when there aren't other nosy colleagues around)

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- Lives far from me - 1 hour - 25 to 30 miles meaning it may not be feasible (she's also always busy)
- Is a virgin even though she is extremely good looking
- Doesn't have too much of a social life suggesting she could be pretty loyal (works monday - friday, saturday she goes to the gym and swims and has a driving lesson, sunday at her nans, and then repeats the cycle)
- She was raped as a child by the guy her mum was dating (her real dad is dead). She then went anorexic and depressed and then dated LOADS of guys basically for someone to chat to about her problems. This could be around 30 guys or more. She never had sex with any of them and she said only 4 of them were serious relationships and the rest were more someone to help her out. A fair amount of them she has kissed. Some of them she even met online. Broke up with most of them as the majority seemed to want sex which she wouldn't do. Kind of recovered from anorexia/depression although she's still extremely skinny and can get upset a lot of the time (even though I want to help, you have to think if it's worth being in a relationship where ultimately you want to be happy/positive when she's always upset over things).
- Not sure if she's head over heels for me like I am for her


2nd girl:
Lives 5 miles/5 minutes fro me
Sporty like me
More chatty compared to the first girl
Could be argued to be slutty (she's slept with 7 people and she turned 17 four months ago, but then again a few were boyfriends and people she knew). Never a one night stand though. They have been people she knew well
Currently in a relationship
Seems really into me as I am for her



I had soooo strong feelings for the first girl but at the back of my mind I think it could gradually wear down and the intensity of my feelings may slowly go down since 1) She lives far away and 2) she isn't as chatty even though I find her absolutely beautiful (more attractive than the second girl who is also very good looking)
(edited 9 years ago)

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Original post by dylantombides
I'm seeing this girl, love her to bits but there's this other girl I work with I've found attractive before I was seeing the original girl. The girl I work with is seeing someone herself but we've always kind of flirted (never anything else) and i know she finds me good looking.

The other day we went to the gym together then nandos after, and I then dropped her home in my car around midnight (wasn't really a date though). But when I got home, I realised how much I actually like her and have strong feelings for her. I now don't know what to do. I didn't sleep well as she was on my mind.

Thing is I really like them both. I know you should be loyal but there's nothing really I can do if I develop feelings for both of them - can't control that!


Which one could you see yourself having a better, more long lasting relationship with? It would suck if you pick one of them because "she's got better boobs" or something and then break up 1 month later.
I'd pick both, although failing that... which one's got better boobs?
Flip a coin.
Original post by iEatMuFFiNS
I'd pick both, although failing that... which one's got better boobs?


If she has better boobs AND will result in a better long lasting relationship.....


EPIC WIN
Original post by dylantombides
I'm seeing this girl, love her to bits but there's this other girl I work with I've found attractive before I was seeing the original girl. The girl I work with is seeing someone herself but we've always kind of flirted (never anything else) and i know she finds me good looking.

The other day we went to the gym together then nandos after, and I then dropped her home in my car around midnight (wasn't really a date though). But when I got home, I realised how much I actually like her and have strong feelings for her. I now don't know what to do. I didn't sleep well as she was on my mind.

Thing is I really like them both. I know you should be loyal but there's nothing really I can do if I develop feelings for both of them - can't control that!


I never told the girl I work with I'm seeing another girl. I guess it's because I must have liked her too and in case things didn't work with the initial girl. I've also never told the girl I work with that I actually really like her. Do you think I should? Thing is, I only sometimes see her out of work so it's hard (I'd want to do it when there aren't other nosy colleagues around)


Throw them both into a lake, and see who bobs to the surface first. There's your answer.
Be with the one which you love because of their soul or personality, not the one who is attractive due to physical appearance. The first girl seems sweet, quiet and that you would have a long-lasting relationship with her. Whereas, the other girl it seems that she is attractive dye to physical appearance. Would you be committed to her (long-term relationship) or sex?
Think about those two factors.
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 7
Seeing as your both already seeing people, just carry on seeing her and see what happens with the second girl
Considering the girl you work with is seeing someone else, what makes you think you need to pick? It could all just be very friendly with her that you're interpreting as something else.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by snikutsmullac
Throw them both into a lake, and see who bobs to the surface first. There's your answer.

To see if they are witches?
pick the one you like more
or make them fight each other to the death:tongue: and pick the surviving girl

pick the one you have the strongest feeling for
Imagine yourself in a relationship with the first girl and the second - see what happens hypothetically.
Original post by iEatMuFFiNS
To see if they are witches?


He can choose the one who bobs to the surface first.

Of course the test serves a second purpose too.
Neither

Otherwise you would not need to ask
Original post by inachigeek21
Be with the one which you love because of their soul or personality, not the one who is attractive due to physical appearance. The first girl seems sweet, quiet and that you would have a long-lasting relationship with her. Whereas, the other girl it seems that she is attractive dye to physical appearance. Would you committed to her (long-term relationship) or sex?
Think about those two factors.


First girl is quiet, extremely attractive (does all sorts of modelling). 2nd girl is also attractive but not as attractive as the first, and probably has more of a personality but has a boyfriend as i said earlier
Original post by dylantombides
Tough one to say. 1st girl:

Lives far from me - 1 hour - 25 to 30 miles
Is a virgin even though she is extremely good looking
Doesn't have too much of a social life suggesting she could be pretty loyal (works monday - friday, saturday she goes to the gym and swims and has a driving lesson, sunday at her nans, and then repeats the cycle)


2nd girl:
Lives 5 miles/5 minutes fro me
Sporty like me
More chatty compared to the first girl
Could be argued to be slutty (she's slept with 7 people and she turned 17 four months ago, but then again a few were boyfriends and people she knew)



I had soooo strong feelings for the first girl but at the back of my mind I think it could gradually wear down and the intensity of my feelings may slowly go down since 1) She lives far away and 2) she isn't as chatty even though I find her absolutely beautiful (more attractive than the second girl who is also very good looking)


1st girl. She sounds lovely compared to number 2 who will probably see you as just another man to do.
Original post by donutaud15
Considering the girl you work with is seeing someone else, what makes you think you need to pick? It could all just be very friendly with her that you're interpreting as something else.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Sorry yeah I wrote the title wrong and now am getting replies like 'pick this one' when i can't really pick if the girl is in a relationship. Basically what I was trying to say was I got so strong feelings for the girl in a relationship now which sucks when I'm seeing the first girl. I don't know if i should be telling the 2nd girl but obviously don't want to cause problems with her current bf.
Original post by dylantombides
Sorry yeah I wrote the title wrong and now am getting replies like 'pick this one' when i can't really pick if the girl is in a relationship. Basically what I was trying to say was I got so strong feelings for the girl in a relationship now which sucks when I'm seeing the first girl. I don't know if i should be telling the 2nd girl but obviously don't want to cause problems with her current bf.


The feelings will pass. Trust me you'll have a much better time with your current girl she sounds gorgeous.
Original post by dylantombides
First girl is quiet, extremely attractive (does all sorts of modelling). 2nd girl is also attractive but not as attractive as the first, and probably has more of a personality but has a boyfriend as i said earlier

The 1st girl than the 2nd girl.
The 1st girl seems way attractive than the 2nd girl, who seems slutty.
Original post by King Max
1st girl. She sounds lovely compared to number 2 who will probably see you as just another man to do.


I haven't told the full story as I probably shouldn't say it on here but the fact that she's probably never going to see and if she does, hard to prove that I'm referring to her. Anyway: She was raped as a child by the guy her mum was dating (her real dad is dead). She then went anorexic and depressed and then dated LOADS of guys basically for someone to chat to about her problems. This could be around 30 guys or more. She never had sex with any of them and she said only 4 of them were serious relationships and the rest were more someone to help her out. A fair amount of them she has kissed. Some of them she even met online. Broke up with most of them as the majority seemed to want sex which she wouldn't do.

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