Anyone else stuck with pretty rubbish flatmates?

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My flatmates are all nice, none of them are bad people but they are just rubbish flatmates to have for freshers week.

Flatmate A- Bulgarian guy, doesn't talk to you unless you talk to him and stays in his room a lot. He comes out drinking and everything but when you talk to him the conversation is pretty one sided so it gets boring very quickly. There are other bulgarians in the halls we are staying and we go out with them sometimes but then they all just have a conversation with each other in bulgarian.

B- This girl is nice but really quiet and a bit boring (boring to me anyway). She speaks to you but it's so quiet and I just don't have anything in common with her at all. She's one of those types that has never really been drinking or been on a night out before she came here.

C- She's only 17 so can't go to a lot of the freshers things. She has some friends who don't live in halls and usually hangs out with them.

D- This girl and I really bonded on the first night and I think we would have got on great. Unfortunately after the first night her boyfriend has stayed here since and she only speaks to him and a couple of other folk she knows from school. It's impossible to have a conversation with her because her boyfriend follows her around everywhere. He's gone away home now but she is going home at the weekend too (after being away for one week).

I'm really looking forward to starting my course so I can meet more people. Already met a few at my induction yesterday but there wasn't enough time to get to know them properly and none that I spoke to were living in halls or going to freshers week stuff.

I just wanted to share because I don't really have anyone to talk to about it and I thought maybe some people have had similar experiences or are even experiencing the same thing right now.

I think I could get along with B :smile:

Reply 21

Ecro

Why should people make effort to get to know their flatmates? Some people just don't give a **** about their flatmates. What? Are you desperate for attention from your flatmates?

Reply 22

Miracle Day

Try to bring B out of her shell more? Or go and bother with neighbouring flats.

Reply 23

VladThe1mpaler

Original post by Ecro

Why should people make effort to get to know their flatmates? Some people just don't give a **** about their flatmates. What? Are you desperate for attention from your flatmates?

Because the whole point of living in halls is to get to know other students.

Reply 24

Ecro

Original post by VladThe1mpaler

Because the whole point of living in halls is to get to know other students.

The point is to be living near the university and the convenience of not walking 30 minutes every day to go to the univresity.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 25

NEBPC

Original post by Ecro

The point is to be live near the university and convenience of not walking 30 minutes every day to go to the univresity.

But isn't it better if people in flats DO get along? I know i'm hoping to make friends with people who I live with when I move in at the end of the month.

Reply 26

VladThe1mpaler

Original post by Ecro

The point is to be living near the university and the convenience of not walking 30 minutes every day to go to the univresity.

That may be why universities have halls of residence, but that is not why most people choose to live in them.

Reply 27

Ecro

Original post by VladThe1mpaler

That may be why universities have halls of residence, but that is not why most people choose to live in them.

Just because you live there for that reason, doesn't mean 'most people' live there for the same reason as you.

Reply 28

BobbieShamrock

Original post by VladThe1mpaler

I have a feeling I'll be a bit like flatmate B when I go to university... Maybe she's just shy. Persevere with her and she might get less shy with you. Ask them all if they want to go out one night or something.

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Reply 29

arguendo

Have you tried to organise a flat night somewhere (either in, e.g. flat dinner & drinks, or out doing something B can do e.g. day around your new city, anything that won't involve needing to be 18 to get into a bar)?

What you're feeling isn't uncommon. I got on better with my course mates than flatmates - flatmates are a bunch of people you're randomly put with. There's no obligation to like each other or be BFFs - if you're put in a room with 4 strangers, you're unlikely to find that you click brilliantly with all of them.

I'd recommend going to any society socials you have before the course stuff starts, as a way to meet more people now. And definitely go knocking on doors of people you've already met and got on with - it's totally fine :smile:

Re the boyfriend - do you get on with him? I had this with a flatmate and it wasn't an issue, we treated her bf like an extra flatmate and hung out as a group.

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Reply 30

VladThe1mpaler

Original post by arguendo

Re the boyfriend - do you get on with him? I had this with a flatmate and it wasn't an issue, we treated her bf like an extra flatmate and hung out as a group.

Posted from TSR Mobile

When we've all had a drink we get on fine with him because he chats away to you. When he is sober though he hardly talks, he just has little quiet conversations between him and his girlfriend. So no it's not an issue really.

That's basically the problem with all my flatmates to be honest. The only one that talks a lot is the 17 year old girl, but even then she goes about with people she knows outside our flat and never does anything with us. D goes about with her friends/boyfriend from high school and I try and talk with the others but it always ends in awkward silence because there is only so long you can go on having a one-sided conversation.

Went to the freshers fair today but the societies at my uni are all ****. I'll just have to hope I meet some people on my course.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 31

VladThe1mpaler

Also, 2 of my flatmates are going home for the weekend already. They only arrived last Saturday.

Reply 32

Accalia

I only 'clicked' with one of my flatmates - they left to go back home the first weekend and never returned.

Basically, you're not obligated to stick to your flat, and I know it's annoying with everyone ranting about how lovely their flat is/sticking to their flat almost obsessively. I never did anything with mine past the first week - find people you get on with on your course, and although you might have to be quite pro-active at the start, it'll pay off. Just keep on general speaking terms and it won't be anything besides dull when you're back at your room.

Reply 33

amberleigh

Yep..One morning I woke up and found they'd drawn cocks on everything.

Reply 34

RachelFiveee

That sucks- there was someone in my halls who was always at his girlfriends, but other than that we all got on great and had an amazing year. Surely a big attraction of halls is getting to know people as well as living close to uni...give it time though, the one with a bf will be single soon, quiet one may come out of her shell when comfortable etc

Reply 35

VladThe1mpaler

Original post by RachelFiveee

I dunno, he doesn't do anything (studies, job etc.) so I think he will be here a lot.

Reply 36

Carpe Vinum

One of my friends has crappy flatmates, he says they all hide in their rooms and if they open their door at the same time as him then they'll quickly shut it and hide again. Which is quite funny lol.

But then another of my friends who is in the same halls as that guy has awesome flatmates - I've met them all and been out twice with all of them, they're lovely people. I guess some people have more luck than others.