Haven't made friends at college yet. Help? :/
I've been going to my new college for 4 days now and while all the other people who are equally new as me have got into groups and friendships and such.... I still haven't been able to even start a conversation outside of class.
Of course, in class when it's necessary, the other girls and I talk, but they have friends outside of class already.
I have a quite bad anxiety of introducing myself to new people and trying to start a conversation so that's ruled out :/
Anyone want to give me advice? I really need it
I don't want to hide in the library any longer
Of course, in class when it's necessary, the other girls and I talk, but they have friends outside of class already.
I have a quite bad anxiety of introducing myself to new people and trying to start a conversation so that's ruled out :/
Anyone want to give me advice? I really need it
I don't want to hide in the library any longer
Original post by emy-n
I've been going to my new college for 4 days now and while all the other people who are equally new as me have got into groups and friendships and such.... I still haven't been able to even start a conversation outside of class.
Of course, in class when it's necessary, the other girls and I talk, but they have friends outside of class already.
I have a quite bad anxiety of introducing myself to new people and trying to start a conversation so that's ruled out :/
Anyone want to give me advice? I really need it I don't want to hide in the library any longer
Of course, in class when it's necessary, the other girls and I talk, but they have friends outside of class already.
I have a quite bad anxiety of introducing myself to new people and trying to start a conversation so that's ruled out :/
Anyone want to give me advice? I really need it
I don't want to hide in the library any longerDuring class when you're talking to people ask about what they're doing later or at lunch and try and invite yourself along.
If they're nice they'll invite you if you ask what they're doing then say you're doing nothing.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Motorbiker
During class when you're talking to people ask about what they're doing later or at lunch and try and invite yourself along.
If they're nice they'll invite you if you ask what they're doing then say you're doing nothing.
Posted from TSR Mobile
If they're nice they'll invite you if you ask what they're doing then say you're doing nothing.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Thank you. I'll try.... Hope I don't get shy though :/
Original post by emy-n
I've been going to my new college for 4 days now and while all the other people who are equally new as me have got into groups and friendships and such.... I still haven't been able to even start a conversation outside of class.
Of course, in class when it's necessary, the other girls and I talk, but they have friends outside of class already.
I have a quite bad anxiety of introducing myself to new people and trying to start a conversation so that's ruled out :/
Anyone want to give me advice? I really need it I don't want to hide in the library any longer
Of course, in class when it's necessary, the other girls and I talk, but they have friends outside of class already.
I have a quite bad anxiety of introducing myself to new people and trying to start a conversation so that's ruled out :/
Anyone want to give me advice? I really need it
I don't want to hide in the library any longerWell listen girl ! You can't rule it out. If me who had all my friends leave college and even random people from my year group leave for uni and Ive still managed to make friends then so can you. What you should of done was immediately introduce yourself and try to start conversation with the people from your class based on who you saw as a potential friend. It really doesn't matter whether the have friends outside or not. If you managed to talk to them you could of then said "you getting lunch " and then from there you could of been introduced to their friends etc. But don't worry all is not lost ! If you have anxiety then it will take a little longer but you will get there ! Just try to do the things mentioned above and if you find you can't I promise you you will find a group of friends in time. Sometimes things don't pan out the way it does in our heads. We think we'll meet a group of people and instantly become close etc. But that honestly doesn't happen over night ! You're surprised when it does happen. You just suddenly have your group of friends and that takes time and you will find that group so for now yes. Go to the library because you know what ! Nobody knows you so there's no embarrassment. Remember you go to college to study. Friends are just the added bonus. I've seen people that started off the year the same as you and have the closest of friends now. Keep calm and be patient and have some confidence and yourself x
Don't worry I was the same, when I moved for sixth form there were literally only 4 other new people.
The first couple of weeks are always a bit scary, and I definitely didn't make friends straight away. Don't assume that people will make the first move-just start small and try introducing yourself to one or two people in your form/classes, and if you see them during free periods just start by saying hi or asking a really boring question like 'what was the homework'. Move at your own pace-when you get used to talking to them, try sitting with them at lunch and just find things that you have in common. It's a bit daunting at first but it gets easier.
Good luck and don't put so much pressure on yourself!
The first couple of weeks are always a bit scary, and I definitely didn't make friends straight away. Don't assume that people will make the first move-just start small and try introducing yourself to one or two people in your form/classes, and if you see them during free periods just start by saying hi or asking a really boring question like 'what was the homework'. Move at your own pace-when you get used to talking to them, try sitting with them at lunch and just find things that you have in common. It's a bit daunting at first but it gets easier.
Good luck and don't put so much pressure on yourself!
I'm quite anti-social myself, but the way I made friends was to join clubs offered to us at the time. I joined the entrepreneur club and we are constantly put into groups each session with different people so people are generally forced to chat to each other if they want to get work done, a lot of it out of session. Also, it's only been a week trust me, you have plenty of time, people are still finding themselves. I hope you make progress, remember, at the end of the day, you're at school to learn and get the grades you want.
Original post by emy-n
I swear that I've been following all your guys advice but I still have no progress
Maybe I'm just a naturally repelling person :/ Eeek
Oh well, I can get used to being a loner I guess
Maybe I'm just a naturally repelling person :/ Eeek
Oh well, I can get used to being a loner I guess
In my opinion, don't be in such a rush to find companions in College. Focus on your work and should anyone come along, say when you have to work with them? Boom, you've found some friends.
Original post by Magistl
In my opinion, don't be in such a rush to find companions in College. Focus on your work and should anyone come along, say when you have to work with them? Boom, you've found some friends.
Thank you, that's what I'm doing
hopefully it worksOriginal post by emy-n
I've been going to my new college for 4 days now and while all the other people who are equally new as me have got into groups and friendships and such.... I still haven't been able to even start a conversation outside of class.
Of course, in class when it's necessary, the other girls and I talk, but they have friends outside of class already.
I have a quite bad anxiety of introducing myself to new people and trying to start a conversation so that's ruled out :/
Anyone want to give me advice? I really need it I don't want to hide in the library any longer
Of course, in class when it's necessary, the other girls and I talk, but they have friends outside of class already.
I have a quite bad anxiety of introducing myself to new people and trying to start a conversation so that's ruled out :/
Anyone want to give me advice? I really need it
I don't want to hide in the library any longerAlright I had this exact same worry as you and this is my advice as a fellow year 12 who went to a new sixth - outside of lesson go to the cafe or whatever chill out area your sixth form has and talk to literally ANYONE AND EVERYONE. Trust me there's bound to be 1 or 2 people who don't know anyone and in the same position. The only secret to making friends is talking and approaching as many people as possible.
Start off with small steps by talking to people who look lonely, then move on to trying to make friends with people in groups. It seems scary at first but trust me most people are nice - they wouldn't tell you to go away or anything most likely they'd welcome you. If literally everyone is in a friendship group, I understand this is the toughest as I've been in that position - but you need to literally throw yourself in at the deep end and try your hardest to approach them and start talking.
Fair enough I still don't have loads and loads of friends but I've still made plenty this way only being at sixth for a week and a half. Literally the only way to make new friends is talking!
Also after talking to them don't forget to get their WhatsApps and/or Facebook. I found I forgot that a lot.
That way you can message each other to meet up during free periods etc.I know for people who aren't that great at making friends it's hard. I'm crap at making friends and it was really tough for me too. Sometimes I can't find anyone who also has a free - and that's where the good old library comes into use.
Less friends can be a good thing sometimes too - means no distractions!(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by yellowcopter
Alright I had this exact same worry as you and this is my advice as a fellow year 12 who went to a new sixth - outside of lesson go to the cafe or whatever chill out area your sixth form has and talk to literally ANYONE AND EVERYONE. Trust me there's bound to be 1 or 2 people who don't know anyone and in the same position. The only secret to making friends is talking and approaching as many people as possible.
Start off with small steps by talking to people who look lonely, then move on to trying to make friends with people in groups. It seems scary at first but trust me most people are nice - they wouldn't tell you to go away or anything most likely they'd welcome you. If literally everyone is in a friendship group, I understand this is the toughest as I've been in that position - but you need to literally throw yourself in at the deep end and try your hardest to approach them and start talking.
Fair enough I still don't have loads and loads of friends but I've still made plenty this way only being at sixth for a week and a half. Literally the only way to make new friends is talking!
Also after talking to them don't forget to get their WhatsApps and/or Facebook. I found I forgot that a lot. That way you can message each other to meet up during free periods etc.
I know for people who aren't that great at making friends it's hard. I'm crap at making friends and it was really tough for me too. Sometimes I can't find anyone who also has a free - and that's where the good old library comes into use. Less friends can be a good thing sometimes too - means no distractions!
Start off with small steps by talking to people who look lonely, then move on to trying to make friends with people in groups. It seems scary at first but trust me most people are nice - they wouldn't tell you to go away or anything most likely they'd welcome you. If literally everyone is in a friendship group, I understand this is the toughest as I've been in that position - but you need to literally throw yourself in at the deep end and try your hardest to approach them and start talking.
Fair enough I still don't have loads and loads of friends but I've still made plenty this way only being at sixth for a week and a half. Literally the only way to make new friends is talking!
Also after talking to them don't forget to get their WhatsApps and/or Facebook. I found I forgot that a lot.
That way you can message each other to meet up during free periods etc.I know for people who aren't that great at making friends it's hard. I'm crap at making friends and it was really tough for me too. Sometimes I can't find anyone who also has a free - and that's where the good old library comes into use.
Less friends can be a good thing sometimes too - means no distractions!Actually some really sound advice. Exactly what I done when I started my new sixth form. In the first geography lesson I started speaking to someone who clearly was also new. Later that day he invites me over to join all the rest of the people that came from his school, about 8 and they were really nice people. You just have to throw yourself in.
Original post by yellowcopter
Alright I had this exact same worry as you and this is my advice as a fellow year 12 who went to a new sixth - outside of lesson go to the cafe or whatever chill out area your sixth form has and talk to literally ANYONE AND EVERYONE. Trust me there's bound to be 1 or 2 people who don't know anyone and in the same position. The only secret to making friends is talking and approaching as many people as possible.
Start off with small steps by talking to people who look lonely, then move on to trying to make friends with people in groups. It seems scary at first but trust me most people are nice - they wouldn't tell you to go away or anything most likely they'd welcome you. If literally everyone is in a friendship group, I understand this is the toughest as I've been in that position - but you need to literally throw yourself in at the deep end and try your hardest to approach them and start talking.
Fair enough I still don't have loads and loads of friends but I've still made plenty this way only being at sixth for a week and a half. Literally the only way to make new friends is talking!
Also after talking to them don't forget to get their WhatsApps and/or Facebook. I found I forgot that a lot. That way you can message each other to meet up during free periods etc.
I know for people who aren't that great at making friends it's hard. I'm crap at making friends and it was really tough for me too. Sometimes I can't find anyone who also has a free - and that's where the good old library comes into use. Less friends can be a good thing sometimes too - means no distractions!
Start off with small steps by talking to people who look lonely, then move on to trying to make friends with people in groups. It seems scary at first but trust me most people are nice - they wouldn't tell you to go away or anything most likely they'd welcome you. If literally everyone is in a friendship group, I understand this is the toughest as I've been in that position - but you need to literally throw yourself in at the deep end and try your hardest to approach them and start talking.
Fair enough I still don't have loads and loads of friends but I've still made plenty this way only being at sixth for a week and a half. Literally the only way to make new friends is talking!
Also after talking to them don't forget to get their WhatsApps and/or Facebook. I found I forgot that a lot.
That way you can message each other to meet up during free periods etc.I know for people who aren't that great at making friends it's hard. I'm crap at making friends and it was really tough for me too. Sometimes I can't find anyone who also has a free - and that's where the good old library comes into use.
Less friends can be a good thing sometimes too - means no distractions!Thank you so much. Ignore that other person who said your advice was bad.
I can't wait to try out your advice!!!
Original post by emy-n
Thank you so much. Ignore that other person who said your advice was bad.
I can't wait to try out your advice!!!
I can't wait to try out your advice!!!
Tell me how it goes please, both of you. 1-2 months? Kl.
I'm relaxing about making friends while trying to seem like a respectable guy. I'm slowly trying to familiarise myself to the sixthform and the people. The way I want to talk to people is to get familiar with them, then fwend.
I just want the right friends, not to use or be used by someone I barely know in all truth, therefore, take your time.
Original post by ZeroName
Tell me how it goes please, both of you. 1-2 months? Kl.
I'm relaxing about making friends while trying to seem like a respectable guy. I'm slowly trying to familiarise myself to the sixthform and the people. The way I want to talk to people is to get familiar with them, then fwend.
I just want the right friends, not to use or be used by someone I barely know in all truth, therefore, take your time.
I'm relaxing about making friends while trying to seem like a respectable guy. I'm slowly trying to familiarise myself to the sixthform and the people. The way I want to talk to people is to get familiar with them, then fwend.
I just want the right friends, not to use or be used by someone I barely know in all truth, therefore, take your time.
You misinterpreted my advice. I didn't say make friends with the first person you meet or every person you talk to. I'm saying you shouldn't stand around doing nothing and don't actually approach people, you'll get no where. You can't expect people to come up to you, because they won't.
When you talk to a lot of people fair enough not everyone will want to be your friend or you just won't get along. That's fine. Move on and find someone else. You need to find a midway.
The fact is if you wait around too long everyone will already have set up their friendship groups. I'm not saying leap into the first friendship group you see but don't be an introvert. Try and find a group with similarities and who you can get along with.
(edited 9 years ago)
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