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Too unattractive to have friends

Anonymous #1

I have extremely low self-esteem. As a result, I always feel that I'm too unattractive to have friends. I've started at a mixed school for sixth form (after coming from an all girls school) and I have a few male friends. However, I get really paranoid thinking that they may be embarrassed to have a friend that's as ugly as me, especially because all of the other girls are ridiculously pretty. I also worry that they may stop being friends with me because my friendliness can often be misinterpreted as flirtiness. I mean, they could be so revolted that a person like me is crushing on them (which I'm not) that they may just stop talking to me entirely.

People have tried to tell me that I'm pretty, but it does suck when you know that they're only saying it because they're being nice people/my friends. I don't mind being ugly too much, it's only a problem when it starts affecting my ability to retain friendships. Any advice?

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Why do you think that cos it's not like anyone has said you are ugly to ur face, and anyway, who cares what people think every body is beautiful especially women.

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Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by katenworb

Why do you think that cos it's not like anyone has said you are ugly to ur face, and anyway, who cares what people think every body is beautiful especially women.

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well, no. Nobody has called me ugly but I think I am ugly

Reply 4

katenworb

What is it exactly that makes you think that for example, your nose or your ears? (I can't stand my ears) eyes etc

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Reply 5

FasterThanFTL

yeh yeh same same. nothin u can do. u just gotta accept it. sum ppl r meant 2 b alone 4eva and wont make any friends, thats just the way it is im afraid. u can try to make an effort, that cant hurt...just dont get ur hopes up too much. im pretty sure its nothin 2 do wit ur looks, so dont worry about that 2 much

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by katenworb

What is it exactly that makes you think that for example, your nose or your ears? (I can't stand my ears) eyes etc

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My entire face

Reply 7

scrawlx101

dont think your ugly.Theres someone out there waiting for a girl like you and dont let anyone tell you otherwise.As for your face youve been gifted that face from your genes since a representation of your parents.Be proud of who you are!

Reply 8

Truflais

If people think you are too unattractive to be their friend then they're not the kind of people you want to associate yourself with.

Reply 9

Abstraction

Well, perhaps you'll just have to learn to live with it. Many men have been living the same way for decades (in fact they're worse, they may have no friends at all). It's good to see a woman experience some of the same. No doubt you would have been another self-absorbed narcissist if you were attractive (which perhaps you will be when you get older).

Reply 10

Another

I know plenty of ugly people with friends :smile:

Reply 11

seaholme

Since when is friendship based on physical features?? :s-smilie:

You're worrying about something that's not even an issue. Do you put your friends through a beauty score before you agree to be friends with them? Do beautiful people make better friends? No and no. Of all the relationships we have with people, friendship is one of the few that is actually based almost 100% on personality & common interests and nobody really cares what you look like - unless you dress in a bin bag and repel them with your body odour, just be yourself, talk to people and you'll make friends!

Get over yourself on this one - physical 'ugliness' is never a destroyer of friendships, only ugliness of personality can do that.

Reply 12

CJKay

If your friends care what you look like, then they're not friends.

Reply 13

lalalingo

Original post by Anonymous

Hey, I honestly don't know what kind of "friends" you are talking about. Your friends should like you for YOU and not your looks. I don't believe youre ugly either, because everyone is beautiful. I know that may sound cheesy but it's honestly true. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So in all seriousness you need to learn to accept your flaws, whether it's being over weight/ too skinny.. or being too tall/short. Who cares because EVERYONE has flaws. Nobody is perfect. So when you learn to accept yourself for who you are. You will make friends. Real friends shouldn't be with you because you are pretty to look at, but there for them when they need you.

Hang in there, I promise you'll make some friends who will love you for YOU.
I hope everything works out! Xx

Reply 14

L'Evil Fish

Original post by CJKay

If your friends care what you look like, then they're not friends.

Meh. I don't think I can befriend ugly people... I want to but I just can't. I cut the convos when it happens. But I do care what friends look like and we are friends...

But yeah OP ugly people are like 1 in a 100 so it's probably just your confidence

Reply 15

sr90

Volunteer Team

I look disgusting and i've still got plenty of friends. I don't think how you look is much of an issue.

Reply 16

IllmaticDragon

Original post by Anonymous

My entire face

Rekt

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Reply 17

Anonymous #1

Original post by seaholme

Since when is friendship based on physical features?? :s-smilie:

See the the bolded area in the post below for an example of my point. You are extremely being naive. Sure, personality plays a big role in making friends but aesthetics are also important. Human being subconsciously prefer being friends with more attractive people. Why do you think the more conventionally attractive people tend to be the most popular, whilst the uglier ones tend to be branded as 'nerdy' and 'unattractive'. That's not to say that ugly people can't have friends, but to say that friendship is 100% based on personality is completely untrue.

Original post by L'Evil Fish