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Is my dad being hypocritical or just an overprotective parent?

So I’m not trying to go against my dad or anything, I love both my parents dearly but I’m just wondering if my dad is in the wrong.
My mum is white (Swedish) and my dad is black (Nigerian) both British born.
Being mixed race, I never thought interracial relationships were really a big issue in my family. My Swedish side accepted me, my brother and my parents as did my Nigerian side for the most part. My mum really doesn’t care what race of boy I happen to bring home, but my dad is the opposite.
He opposes the idea of me being in an interracial relationship, whether that’s with a White or Asian boy. Sometimes I even get the idea that he opposes black males from other places e.g. Ghana or Jamaica, which I think is even more ridiculous.
Once my mum and me made a joke and told my dad that I had a Polish boyfriend, and he was practically tremoring with anger :confused:
So is my dad being an overprotective parent, which most dads are when it comes to their daughters. Or is he being a hypocrite considering he is part of an interracial relationship, marriage and has mixed race children, but doesn’t want me doing the same thing?

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He is being a hypocrite.
:smile:
Definitely a hypocrite, and kind of insulting to your mum, too. I'd stand up to him if I were you.


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Reply 3
He seems to have unresolved bigotry towards members of his own race.
He is being a massive hypocrite.
Original post by zkrjebril
No, its just that African parents have SERIOUS trouble accepting other races as potential marriage material for their children, ESPECIALLY black people. African culture is often full of double standards.


True.
Typical Nigerian.

My mum married a non-Nigerian (my dad, obviously). Now she tries to force Nigerian men at me, always saying how awesome they are. Hmmm...
Original post by vortex_199
Typical Nigerian.

My mum married a non-Nigerian (my dad, obviously). Now she tries to force Nigerian men at me, always saying how awesome they are. Hmmm...


Haha oh hell no!

But seriously though, why is it one rule for her and another for someone else? Why did she marry a non-Nigerian in the first place?
It is hypocrisy. From his POV, i guess he doesn't want the cultural aspect/ black gene to die out in the family. Tbh if he really wanted you getting with a nigerian, he should have gotten you more familiar with nigerian culture, maybe had you live there for a couple years.

I don't want to make assumptions, so i wish to ask, would you say you are from a more white area or an area with more black people alongside other ethnic minorities?
Original post by TheEssence
It is hypocrisy. From his POV, i guess he doesn't want the cultural aspect/ black gene to die out in the family. Tbh if he really wanted you getting with a nigerian, he should have gotten you more familiar with nigerian culture, maybe had you live there for a couple years.


This.
Original post by BobbieShamrock
Definitely a hypocrite, and kind of insulting to your mum, too. I'd stand up to him if I were you.


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How would I go about doing that? I definitely agree with you, but my dad is too much of a proud person to take what I have to say against him lightly...let alone seriously!
Original post by vortex_199
Typical Nigerian.

My mum married a non-Nigerian (my dad, obviously). Now she tries to force Nigerian men at me, always saying how awesome they are. Hmmm...


Exactly! It's incredible, my dad will dismiss anyone who isn't Nigerian. Sometimes I do wonder if it's an African parents thing full stop, or Nigerians specifically.
Original post by TheEssence
It is hypocrisy. From his POV, i guess he doesn't want the cultural aspect/ black gene to die out in the family. Tbh if he really wanted you getting with a nigerian, he should have gotten you more familiar with nigerian culture, maybe had you live there for a couple years.

I don't want to make assumptions, so i wish to ask, would you say you are from a more white area or an area with more black people alongside other ethnic minorities?


Hmm I know. Well I live in Maidenhead in Berkshire. I'd say it's a predominantly 'white area' but still more diverse than when I used to live in the North East of England. This being said, Reading is only 20 minutes away and that is far more diverse...lots of ethnic minorities over there.
Original post by kittykatxoxo
Haha oh hell no!

But seriously though, why is it one rule for her and another for someone else? Why did she marry a non-Nigerian in the first place?


It's definitely not a rule, just a preference. I think because she married my dad, she often feels like she is missing out on our family being 'culturally Nigerian'. She is in her element when she gets together with Nigerian or other African friends, because she feels that side of her is understood. So having a Nigerian son-in-law really appeals to her.
I think a bit of both.

He's being hypocritical, but he must have a prejudice ideology about different races so is over protective.
Original post by zkrjebril
My dad is a lot less judgemental of other races than my mom and is generally more rational about this kind of thing. It could have something to do with my dad's three maths degrees and a DTLLS. Education tends to open people's minds in other ways too.

PS: what race of dating material would your dad be most likely to get angry about? For me, it would be a Jamaican by far and second split between English and Muslim Asian (they are really racist about Asian girls).


That definitely sounds like a factor, interesting. Well same with me, Jamaican definitely. Then I think my dad would say Eastern European. My dad's mum (my grandma) was Muslim and dad (grandad) Christian so I don't think that would be the main problem. Then again Asian Muslim is a whole different subject, Nigerian Muslim my dad wouldn't really care about. It's sad to be honest, but my mum says I shouldn't listen to my dad.
Original post by zkrjebril
Kudos to you, man. You definitely should respect your parents opinion but leave the last judgements to yourself.

Lol my dad actually speaks fluent Russian (he's Somali as well XD) so he may actaully recieve a Muslim East European OK. ??? Parents are SOOOO confusing sometimes. Just WHAT is their deal?


You speak so much truth! Woah that is amazing, I've never heard of a more unique combination :redface: Can you speak any Russian? I know, sometimes I feel it would be simpler if I didn't care about my parents opinion, because I do and my dad's opinions are a bit...sad really. But you know, respecting them is the main thing right? :smile:
This reminds me of a quote: "The time we will start realizing what our parents said was right, we will have kids who will start taking us wrong". I am sure your dad is not wrong..he is just overprotective and this is also an expression of love and care. We all want to be loved and cared...isn't it?
Sounds like hypocrisy. My mum is the same with other races.

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