The Student Room Group

How do you get over the thought of your ex kissing or having sex with someone else?

It's all I can seem to think about at the moment, my relationship of a year ended a couple of weeks ago and ever since all I can worry about is her kissing or having sex with someone else. I took her virginity and it's actually getting me down?

Her freshers has started a week earlier than mine, so whilst she's out every night i'm stuck at home until I move away and I can't get rid of the feeling, it makes me feel sick.

How do you get over this?
Reply 1
I'm not exactly giving this as advice to you, but for ME, I just went and kissed other people myself. Made me feel a lot better and then with time I didn't care much anymore!

It does hurt, my ex cheated on my with HIS ex. I remember the thoughts at the time being painful, knowing him and her were together. But at the same time, I made myself think "well, that's life. We weren't going to exactly end up married, it was rocky and ended for a reason, I don't like the thoughts but what am I going to do?"

I also thought that he got with other people before me, so what's the difference.

I really think your answer, though, is to get out the house, get busy, and perhaps even go get involved with some others girls…even if it's just by starting to flirt or even just TALK to girls again with a couple mates in a club - doesn't have to be flirty. It does make you feel better to stay active and busy. Don't stick yourself at home with only your thoughts.
Reply 2
Sorry to hear about this. It is pretty grim when a formerly good relationship ends and you see her move on. Sadly though this is the reality of life, there is no way to change it and you just have to face up to it. The pain does ease with time. I recommend beer, mates, music, new pursuits and ultimately new love. Good luck.
Get with another girl
Ex= something or someone you no longer want, thus the same as garbage or junk.

If someone wants to wear your old clothes or be with your ex then why do you have a problem? You surely won't have a problem with someone wearing your old shoes that you threw away?
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
It's all I can seem to think about at the moment, my relationship of a year ended a couple of weeks ago and ever since all I can worry about is her kissing or having sex with someone else. I took her virginity and it's actually getting me down?

Her freshers has started a week earlier than mine, so whilst she's out every night i'm stuck at home until I move away and I can't get rid of the feeling, it makes me feel sick.

How do you get over this?


Try not to feel as if you're in a competition with her.

Once you go to university you'll hopefully have loads of things to do and probably won't even think about it.
Kiss another girl. Make sure she doesn't automatically assume you're interested in her in that way (unless you genuinely are). I guess at Freshers most people would be looking for one night stands anyway.
You're about to go to uni, unless you're a pretty impassioned kind of guy, it'll be easy to get your mind off her, especially with all the freshers mayhem that occurs at the start.

Just throw yourself into it, make the absolute most of it with no regrets. Meet as many new people as you can and build your friendship groups, stay busy with activities in your downtime, party as much as possible and maybe sleep with the odd person or two. Who knows, but in maybe a month's time, you'll probably be too distracted to care what she's getting up to.

If anything, breaking up before uni isn't exactly a bad thing to happen as it's easy to just 'reset' your life essentially.

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