Am I being pathetic?
Okay.... so basically this is gonna be a little long winded but I'd really appreciate some advice.
So...
I've been best friends with this boy since year 7. He always had my back & looked out for me & I did the same for him. In year 9, we fell out over a stupid rumour but managed to work through it and keep our friendship though it was a little awkward for a few months after. Through year 10 & 11 we kept re-building our friendship but it seemed quite fragile. The truth is I had a crush on him for 4 years. I really really REALLY liked him.
Before our GCSE exams I began to notice when we were alone (not with our groups of friends) we didn't say much to each other but enjoyed being in each others company and sometimes I'd catch him staring at me and visa versa. He became very shy around me & I wondered if he perhaps also liked me more than a 'friend'.
But... here comes the problem...
Originally, like him, I was staying on at sixth form but as year 11 went on, several things started to make me doubt my choice (e.g. other friends changing & making me feel used; getting frustrated and depressed).
Eventually, I realised sixth form wasn't for me & I had to get out of staying on fast. I knew exactly the kind of thing I wanted to do and decided to take a relevant 16-18 course at my local college.
But the interview was set during study leave, about halfway through our exams & I didn't want to tell people I was leaving until I was sure I was accepted and happy with my choice.
After a while, the interview came to pass and after seeing the facilities and oppourtunities the college had to offer, I knew it was the right move to make.
Unfortunately, I literally had to wait until after my last exam to tell people and the boy I liked was the last to know (not out of choice... I just couldn't find him!)
He was quite upset but seemed like he already knew (news travels fast huh?)
and just replied with "Ok whatever".
That was the last time I saw or heard from him. He didn't turn up to our prom (which I was gutted about) and even though we exchanged mobile numbers he has never tried to contact me or return any of my texts and calls.
Its easily been 4 months now, and the fact that I'm still waiting and hoping is probably quite pathetic. I've never been in a relationship before but if this boy ever asked me out I wouldn't hesitate to say yes!!!
Even though its been this long without even the tiniest contact, I still can't seem to let go or move on because he truly meant the world to me.
But I wonder is it him or was it me?
I mean, over 4 months I have tried to contact him at least once a week (nothing too often as I didn't want to freak him out) and I know he warned me that he doesn't use his phone as much as I use mine but surely not to this extent?
But then was it the fact that I waited too long and hid the fact I was leaving? I mean, I wanted to discuss it with him but I was just worried it would distract him and cause him to not do so well in his exams or something.
My old school isn't far away but would it be too much to wait for him and talk to him after school one day when I'm not timetabled to be in college?
I've tried to let go but I just can't!
Please if anyone can help or give advice I'd really appreciate it!!!
So...
I've been best friends with this boy since year 7. He always had my back & looked out for me & I did the same for him. In year 9, we fell out over a stupid rumour but managed to work through it and keep our friendship though it was a little awkward for a few months after. Through year 10 & 11 we kept re-building our friendship but it seemed quite fragile. The truth is I had a crush on him for 4 years. I really really REALLY liked him.
Before our GCSE exams I began to notice when we were alone (not with our groups of friends) we didn't say much to each other but enjoyed being in each others company and sometimes I'd catch him staring at me and visa versa. He became very shy around me & I wondered if he perhaps also liked me more than a 'friend'.
But... here comes the problem...
Originally, like him, I was staying on at sixth form but as year 11 went on, several things started to make me doubt my choice (e.g. other friends changing & making me feel used; getting frustrated and depressed).
Eventually, I realised sixth form wasn't for me & I had to get out of staying on fast. I knew exactly the kind of thing I wanted to do and decided to take a relevant 16-18 course at my local college.
But the interview was set during study leave, about halfway through our exams & I didn't want to tell people I was leaving until I was sure I was accepted and happy with my choice.
After a while, the interview came to pass and after seeing the facilities and oppourtunities the college had to offer, I knew it was the right move to make.
Unfortunately, I literally had to wait until after my last exam to tell people and the boy I liked was the last to know (not out of choice... I just couldn't find him!)
He was quite upset but seemed like he already knew (news travels fast huh?)
and just replied with "Ok whatever".
That was the last time I saw or heard from him. He didn't turn up to our prom (which I was gutted about) and even though we exchanged mobile numbers he has never tried to contact me or return any of my texts and calls.
Its easily been 4 months now, and the fact that I'm still waiting and hoping is probably quite pathetic. I've never been in a relationship before but if this boy ever asked me out I wouldn't hesitate to say yes!!!
Even though its been this long without even the tiniest contact, I still can't seem to let go or move on because he truly meant the world to me.
But I wonder is it him or was it me?
I mean, over 4 months I have tried to contact him at least once a week (nothing too often as I didn't want to freak him out) and I know he warned me that he doesn't use his phone as much as I use mine but surely not to this extent?
But then was it the fact that I waited too long and hid the fact I was leaving? I mean, I wanted to discuss it with him but I was just worried it would distract him and cause him to not do so well in his exams or something.
My old school isn't far away but would it be too much to wait for him and talk to him after school one day when I'm not timetabled to be in college?
I've tried to let go but I just can't!
Please if anyone can help or give advice I'd really appreciate it!!!
Hey, sorry you're feeling so crappy. But I reckon the best thing for you to do is try and move on. This boy might have been quite upset or even slightly betrayed that he found out last about you leaving, but if he really cared for you he wouldn't ignore you for 4 months. I wouldn't know many 6th formers who don't check their phone for 4 months! (you sure you have his right number?)
You feel upset because you've had no closure from this whole thing, which is totally understandable, but he honestly doesn't seem worth your time.
If you still care and don't mind losing a bit of face I would message him one last time; you've got nothing to lose, so be open and honest. Tell him you miss him, would love to catch up with him and see what he's been up to. Also tell him you've been trying to contact but guess he doesn't want to talk but hope he's well anyway. This way, you're not being childish, you're leaving things positive and the ball's in his court *but* you can move on. If he replies, yay. If he doesn't, then you'll meet someone lovely in no time anyway.
You feel upset because you've had no closure from this whole thing, which is totally understandable, but he honestly doesn't seem worth your time.
If you still care and don't mind losing a bit of face I would message him one last time; you've got nothing to lose, so be open and honest. Tell him you miss him, would love to catch up with him and see what he's been up to. Also tell him you've been trying to contact but guess he doesn't want to talk but hope he's well anyway. This way, you're not being childish, you're leaving things positive and the ball's in his court *but* you can move on. If he replies, yay. If he doesn't, then you'll meet someone lovely in no time anyway.
Original post by jrherrera
Hey, sorry you're feeling so crappy. But I reckon the best thing for you to do is try and move on. This boy might have been quite upset or even slightly betrayed that he found out last about you leaving, but if he really cared for you he wouldn't ignore you for 4 months. I wouldn't know many 6th formers who don't check their phone for 4 months! (you sure you have his right number?)
You feel upset because you've had no closure from this whole thing, which is totally understandable, but he honestly doesn't seem worth your time.
If you still care and don't mind losing a bit of face I would message him one last time; you've got nothing to lose, so be open and honest. Tell him you miss him, would love to catch up with him and see what he's been up to. Also tell him you've been trying to contact but guess he doesn't want to talk but hope he's well anyway. This way, you're not being childish, you're leaving things positive and the ball's in his court *but* you can move on. If he replies, yay. If he doesn't, then you'll meet someone lovely in no time anyway.
You feel upset because you've had no closure from this whole thing, which is totally understandable, but he honestly doesn't seem worth your time.
If you still care and don't mind losing a bit of face I would message him one last time; you've got nothing to lose, so be open and honest. Tell him you miss him, would love to catch up with him and see what he's been up to. Also tell him you've been trying to contact but guess he doesn't want to talk but hope he's well anyway. This way, you're not being childish, you're leaving things positive and the ball's in his court *but* you can move on. If he replies, yay. If he doesn't, then you'll meet someone lovely in no time anyway.
Thanks for your advice :-)
Decided its best to move on as he still hasn't replied. Just feel bad how things ended tbh. Exams came around, we went on study leave and BOOM before any of us knew it, everything was over and we were on summer holidays!
Once again thanks.
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Don’t want to car share due to anxiety how can I get out of this?
- pathetic fallacy
- No friends, how to cope
- who is in the wrong in this situation? be very honest
- My older sister doesn’t like me
- Worried I’m not cut out for the job
- PhD and Master by research on various universities in UK have declined in quality ?
- Is there anything more attractive than a guy who takes mirror selfies?
- How do i stop being obsessed with this girl
- i’m struggling to get over my ex.
- Does anyone know a good way to set up a proper study routine and remain motivated?
- how to stop being obsessed
- Am I an ******* for feeling this way towards my friend?
- Family keep booking holidays that I can’t afford
- changing uni choice
- My crush is getting too intense
- post your unpopular literature opinions?
- I get hyper fixated on people and idk how to stop
- I'm chubby should I even bother asking this girl out?
- Holidays and restaurants I don’t get it (vent?)
Latest
Trending
Last reply 1 week ago
I failed my GCSE'S my parents said they are disgusted with meLast reply 1 week ago
parents aren't letting me go on a uni residential - what do i do?Last reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutLast reply 3 weeks ago
How do I cut off parents at the start of my University year?Trending
Last reply 1 week ago
I failed my GCSE'S my parents said they are disgusted with meLast reply 1 week ago
parents aren't letting me go on a uni residential - what do i do?Last reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutLast reply 3 weeks ago
How do I cut off parents at the start of my University year?
