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All my flatmates are Chinese/lonely during freshers

Hi guys,

As title states, all 6 of my flatmates are chinese and also are about 23/24 and have been friends for years (eg: only have one set of cooking stuff as they all eat together). I mean they are really nice but its just obvious we arent going to be best mates. Im in private halls anyway as my uni (kings) didnt give me accomodation so theres not really anyone there that goes to kings. I dont know anyone in london, and whilst i have made a big effort and met a few people i havent got anyone id call friends. I kinda feel like im wasting freshers as i havent been out yet, but obviously dont want to go out by myself. Not sure whether to get facebook or not as it seems a good way of meeting people but i guess im going to look weird as i wont have any friends on it.

Anyway, I know im rambling a bit here but any advice or thoughts would be really appreciated. The accomodation is really expensive as well and one of the reasons i was happy to splash out was i thought id get a better social experience than living way out in a house for 1st year.

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Reply 1

Henry94

Original post by Alumna

CHINESE?
Talk about worse case scenario that i hadnt thought of yet

yep.. i hope i dont sound mean its just i do like the ones ive met( one guy hasnt surfaced from his room yet) but were just completely different.

Reply 2

Yux

lol, try to be nice and learn more about china and see if u find it interesting.....p.s i'm chinese

Reply 3

Saleem Aslam

Wow man I feel for you, this would have been my ultimate nightmare
Is it a private house or halls?
if it's the later try speaking to others in the same accommodation :smile:

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Reply 4

Henry94

Original post by Yux

lol, try to be nice and learn more about china and see if u find it interesting.....p.s i'm chinese

honestly dude im not racist at all ill be friends with anyone and you bet ive already talked about everything i could thing of about china, but keeping in mind they are really close i dont see us all being tight. And we are all friendly to each other.

Reply 5

Henry94

Original post by Saleem Aslam

Wow man I feel for you, this would have been my ultimate nightmare
Is it a private house or halls?
if it's the later try speaking to others in the same accommodation :smile:

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its halls, im sure ill eventually find people to properly chill with here

Reply 6

Henry94

hmm not sure whether to delete this thread as i just realize one of them said they go one studentroom, and as i stupidly put my name in the username its going to be really obvious who this is if they see it, although i could do with peoples thoughts

Reply 7

Inazuma

Original post by Henry94

Leave it up IMO, even if they see it they may make an effort and you haven't been anything but nice about them anyway. :smile:

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Reply 8

Henry94

Original post by Inazuma

Leave it up IMO, even if they see it they may make an effort and you haven't been anything but nice about them anyway. :smile:

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Alright then i blame you if they all start ignoring me or swearing in chinese :smile:

Reply 9

Yux

Original post by Henry94

I guess they all speak chinese with one another and that makes you feel out of the loop?

But if you want to know more about China then you could always ask them! why not find people on your course?

Reply 10

Yux

people of the same ethnic background tend to socialize more with one another...its the same with everyone, example: brits in spain go to pubs and set up british schools...chinese in uk go to chinese restaurants and speak chinese more

Reply 11

Henry94

Original post by Yux

I guess they all speak chinese with one another and that makes you feel out of the loop?

But if you want to know more about China then you could always ask them! why not find people on your course?

Ye well of course when they're speaking Chinese I cant join in, and as regards your other post I know Chinese or other international students band together I have no problem with that but it doesn't really change my situation. This thread wasn't made to complain about them, more to discuss how I should meet people for freshers as everyone seems to be going out with flatmates and sports and soceities haven't started. And I am interested in learning more about china and the culture but there's only so many questions I can ask and obviously I don't want to sit there rattling off endless questions as that would be weird.

Reply 12

trustmeimlying1

Original post by Henry94

im the same! except im living with post grads...yeh meet people yeh get on with..but its much harder to go to their house on your own cos your housemates are all postgrads and dont wish to go out:/

Reply 13

yabbayabba

I've had a similar experience but not during freshers. Freshers is not representative of your uni experience at all. You'll meet people in seminars and societies it's not all about your flatmates. If you really aren't happy you could ask to move rooms

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Reply 14

bubadeeboop

Can you cook?

I ask because I found a great way to bond with foreign students is to cook a traditional english meal, doesn't have to be anything fancy. Toad in the hole used be a popular one. Then typically you will get offered a meal from their home (I'm making the assumption they are nationally Chinese not Brits of Chinese heritage).

Just engage in small talk, if they are not confident in English they might not feel comfortable using the language unless they need to (I know many foreign students who are embaressed by their English, despite it being pretty damn good).
So if you just engage in small talk eventually they will feel comfortable enough to try and expand the conversation and then before you know it you will be chatting away like good old friends.

Reply 15

Layla1989

Last I checked Chinese were humans too.

Reply 16

HeavyTeddy

Keep trying, I'm sure they'll appreciate it and maybe they'll begin to include you in stuff more often. As someone else said, perhaps cook a British dish for them and they might reciprocate. Don't do nothing because that's the least productive thing to do.

Reply 17

The Good Doctor

Chinese are notorious for only bothering to socialise amongst themselves. Even if you become friends with all of them, it is quite likely they will just talk in Chinese amongst themselves when you're around, which would somewhat exclude you.

However this is a generalisation and definitely does not cover all of them. I know one or two that are not like this and I have become friends with them. What I mean is, don't feel bad if you feel you are unable to penetrate their friendship group as it is often not very easy with them.

Reply 18

bubadeeboop

If you are all sat in a room and they are talking away in a foriegn language listen for a natural break in the conversation ask someone has finished saying something and then just nod in agrement and say "exactly couldn't have put it better myself" keep a perfectly straight face when you do this.

It will start with confused looks followed by slow realisation of the joke then amusment ... unless they don't know that you do not speak Chinese ...only do this is they know you don't speak the language.

Reply 19

ElChapo

Hey man not cool making mean threads about me and my friends, come hang with us. We're playing league of legends till 6 am.

OP, I feel bad for you, I feel like most people going to uni in London are worse off socially. Don't worry though, you could've been landed with 6 English people who you absolutely hated anyway. You don't have to make friends through your flat there's always your coursemates, sports clubs, neighbours, societies.

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