The Student Room Group

Is a being a mistress or cheatee wrong?

Obviously the consensus is that cheaters are morally reprehensible having agreed to an exclusive relationship and breaking that.

What about those they cheat with? Is what they do considered morally wrong assuming they know? Is it different when purely sexual as compared to a loving cheating realationship?

I myself have been on occasion the other person to those in a relationship or even married. In my view- while a relationship is less serious when young, and I certainly don't condone it in marriage when that should be the ultimate bond - the moral blame lies on the cheater.

I do it for fun and career opportunity (not within jobs mind).

I am not cheating myself and IMO were it not me it would just be someone else. So why not? Is that wrong?
(edited 9 years ago)

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Original post by Anonymous
Obviously the consensus is that cheaters are morally reprehensible having agreed to an exclusive relationship and breaking that.


What about those they cheat with? Is what they do considered morally wrong assuming they know? Is it different when purely sexual as compared to a loving cheating realationship?


My view:
I myself have been on occasion the other person to those in a relationship or even married.
In my view- while a relationship is less serious when young, and I certainly don't condone it in marriage when that should be the ultimate bond - the moral blame lies on the cheater.
I do it for fun and career opportunity (not within jobs mind).
I am not cheating myself and IMO were it not me it would just be someone else. So why not? Is that wrong?

Thats what I think as well
Reply 2
I apologise for the weird HTML not sure why it appeared when I pasted my text in. TSR wasn't letting me type myself :colondollar:
Morally wrong
It is wrong. Nothing to debate here.
I find the idea of people sleeping with other people to further their career prospects morally reprehensible.

You doing it even knowing the other person is in a relationship or even married, makes you even worse in my eyes.
Reply 6
I personally think it is wrong, if someone isn’t happy then they should break free and live the life they want to rather than going behind their partners back.
Reply 7
Fix the OP because I'm not reading that

Posted from TSR Mobile
Yes and no, no because you don't have any allegiance to their partner, yes because karma is serious
Reply 9
I can't read your post but from the title, I would have to go with yes, being a mistress or cheatee is wrong.
Obviously the consensus is that cheaters are morally reprehensible having agreed to an exclusive relationship and breaking that.
What about those they cheat with? Is what they do considered morally wrong assuming they know? Is it different when purely sexual as compared to a loving cheating realationship?
My view:
I myself have been on occasion the other person to those in a relationship or even married.
In my view- while a relationship is less serious when young, and I certainly don't condone it in marriage when that should be the ultimate bond - the moral blame lies on the cheater.
I do it for fun and career opportunity (not within jobs mind).
I am not cheating myself and IMO were it not me it would just be someone else. So why not? Is that wrong?

Sorry about the HTML thing. Can't change original post.

Original post by ElChapo
Fix the OP because I'm not reading that

Posted from TSR Mobile


^ Sorry, can't edit OP under Anon. Apologies :frown:

Original post by Rlove95
I can't read your post but from the title, I would have to go with yes, being a mistress or cheatee is wrong.

^ Reposted there.
My point is that were it not me it would just be someone else anyway.


Original post by Nidhogg_Rider
I find the idea of people sleeping with other people to further their career prospects morally reprehensible.

You doing it even knowing the other person is in a relationship or even married, makes you even worse in my eyes.



Sorry, probably shouldn't have said career as that's not what I mean. The few of them have been people I really like anyway, it just so happened they were involved in a volunteer organisation that I'm in too. I'm more jealous of their partners :redface:

Original post by lou 22
I personally think it is wrong, if someone isn’t happy then they should break free and live the life they want to rather than going behind their partners back.


But surely that comes down to the morals of the cheater not the cheatee? Also the guys I know weren't doing it because they are unhappy - but more just because they are naturally promiscuous. The one who isn't married for instance doesn't need to keep getting into relationships. It's also well known that he is a complete player.

Same with the guy who is married - lots of people are aware. Although IMO that's far more wrong anyway.
I don't think it's quite as bad as the person cheating but it's still wrong. You are still actively doing something that you know could (and probably will) cause someone else to be hurt. I like to go with treating other people the way I'd like to be treated and since I wouldn't want someone else to sleep with my boyfriend, I won't knowingly sleep with someone else's.
Original post by Anonymous

I am not cheating myself and IMO were it not me it would just be someone else. So why not? Is that wrong?


On a literal level, yes that is wrong. Just because someone cheats, it doesn't mean their cheating is inevitable, that's a very oversimplistic approach that puts everyone in two groups- "cheaters" and "non-cheaters". Nothing is that black/white. Just because someone is cheating, it doesn't mean they'd cheat with anyone.

I would condemn it, but I have previously tried to get with a girl who had a boyfriend so I can't really. I'd only do that with a girl I really liked, not just for a shag.
Reply 13
No it's not.

Cheaters are the only ones who are in the wrong; if they weren't cheaters you'd never be a cheatee.
Original post by Meduza
No it's not.

Cheaters are the only ones who are in the wrong; if they weren't cheaters you'd never be a cheatee.


You realise the reverse of that is equally true?
Reply 15
Original post by Mankytoes
You realise the reverse of that is equally true?


yes but they'd still think about it and look so **** them
I think for me it would depend on the reasons for the cheater. If they're not getting something from their 'official' relationship that the cheatee can provide, or their relationship has all but broken down then that's probably better than the cheater just wanting to exact revenge.

I'm not sure I'd want to knowingly be a cheatee, though.
Reply 17
I wouldn't knowingly be a cheatee or cheat either .. for me it's just wrong, I would be heartbroken if it happened to me and I'd hate to cause the heartbreak to someone else.
There's a certain degree of blame to the cheatee's side, but it depends on the situation as to how far that blame applies. I'd say the blame lies 50/50 with both if say, the person is a friend of the partner who is being cheated on and actively goads the cheater into the affair. The blame lies solely with the cheater if it was say, a drunken one night stand on the cheatee's part and they feel unaware of the circumstances.

Intentionally sleeping with those who you know are in relationships is wrong, because you are knowingly putting someone's mental health and happiness and risk for a trivial and selfish thing.
Original post by lou 22
I personally think it is wrong, if someone isn’t happy then they should break free and live the life they want to rather than going behind their partners back.


That's the cheater, what about the cheatee?

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