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How to befriend this girl

So I just joined uni and in one of my lectures there is this girl I sat next to only 3 times so far. She always sits in a front corner and was always the only one there until I joined.

The first time I just joined with an empty seat between her as that was the first empty spot I noticed. We did not talk on that day except that she said "Front corner seat!"and smiled at me. I said "yeah"and sat down.

The second time I just sat down and said nothing and nor did she.

The third time I sat down next to her and entered in late as I missed the bus. She looked kind of depressed.At the end of the lecture I asked her if I could borrow her notes. She said it would be easier to scan it at the uni library as that was I don't need to borrow her notes. She then mentioned that she was having a bad day. We scanned the notes and she introduced herself and told me her name and I did the same.

Now I'm having a hard time making friends here at uni and I'm kind of awkward (and she seemed so too). By the type of questions she asked in the Q/A session and by our brief conversations, she really seemed kind and the sort of person I'd like to befriend. She is kind of really girly though (and I'm a guy) and I don't want to come off as a creep. I'm also just looking for a friend and not a date.

Is it a good idea? How would I go about befriending her? What should I say to her next time? Is it ok to ask if her day's going better? Why would she mention that she was having a bad day to me in the first place?

Are girls generally interested in having male friends? Of course I'm not 100% sure that she'd be a good friend but I want to try to get to know her and befriend her if possible. Everyone is extremely social and has friends and I litterally know no one in the uni so far. She is the only other student I got to converse with multiple times even if it was just for 3 days.

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Your intentions seem pure enough, defo ask her next time if she's having a better day and have general convo about hows uni going/the course/interest. And remember these people are going to be on your course for a few years so you'll most likely get to know everyone sooner or later, just start talking to anyone around you in the first few weeks, everyone is super friendly and on the same boat in terms of making friends.
It's never nice befriending' someone for your own purpose
Be a nice person, socialise, chill and you might just get yourself some friends. Good luck! :smile:
Original post by lozasaurus99
It's never nice befriending' someone for your own purpose


All friends are for your own purpose, fundamentally, unless you spend your time being friends with people in comas
Reply 5
Just talk to her - it's that easy

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Anonymous

Are girls generally interested in having male friends? Of course I'm not 100% sure that she'd be a good friend but I want to try to get to know her and befriend her if possible. Everyone is extremely social and has friends and I litterally know no one in the uni so far. She is the only other student I got to converse with multiple times even if it was just for 3 days.


Yes of course. I have tons of friends that are girls (I am a guy), and we never intended to date. Most girls I know also have tons of guy friends.

Sure, there are occasionally girls that aren't interested in having guy friends, but those are definitely the (very rare) exception.
Reply 7
I'm not sure exact;y what to say, what is considered rude / creepy etc (even if it was another guy its hard to start conversations). Is it ok to compliment her and what sorts of compliments are ok etc.
does she have a extensive hsm knowledge ???
more importantly is she a troy and Gabrielle fan
or troy and Sharpe fan
does she stick to status qoe
this is vital in making a true frienship :smile: for life :smile:
sometimes i even like it more than homework
is that even legal ?????????????????
go wildcates
Original post by Anonymous
I'm not sure exact;y what to say, what is considered rude / creepy etc (even if it was another guy its hard to start conversations). Is it ok to compliment her and what sorts of compliments are ok etc.


"How was your day?" is always a good start. "How was the weekend?" is also pretty good and usually generates a longer response, which gives you more topics to continue the conversation on. Or ask about something that was in the lecture.

Generally you want to ask open ended questions that don't just have a yes/no answer. That allows her to say more if she is also interested in making friends. Don't ask the time, or the weather, or things like that.

Other than that there's really no set formula. You just have to pick up on what she says and follow her lead.

Try not to talk about yourself too much. Listening is much more important than talking.

Compliments on things (necklace, hairstyle, objects) are usually OK. Don't compliment on her body (at least until you are very close friends, and feel comfortable joking about that kind of things).
Original post by Anonymous
I'm not sure exact;y what to say, what is considered rude / creepy etc (even if it was another guy its hard to start conversations). Is it ok to compliment her and what sorts of compliments are ok etc.


Don't compliment her, it's creepy

Just introduce yourself, you're all freshers, it's no biggie. Ask what societies she's thinking of joining, that leads her into talking about any sports she's interested in, what she does with her life etc
I am kind of awkward and shy and find it hard to get to know someone but once we are friends it goes very well and my friends like me as I'm generally considered to be nice. I nearly never swear to people and I never say offensive things. Its just that since I basically had a set of friends for years who I knew since childhood its hard and I just can't. I tried talking to people but most of them just disappear afterwards. She's the only person who spoke to me multiple times so I thought maybe she might be a good friend.

I have in the past actually had closer female friends because perhaps I just found more "nice"women then men but the problem with making new female friends is that I find they have perhaps a fear and a barrier to befriending them as they first check if the guy is trying to take things to the next level if you know what I mean. That's why it was so much easier making friends as a kid. I'm not a particularly athelic guy or anything. I'm basically a nerd.
Just ask how she's doing and if she's enjoying Uni. Ask a few questions each time you see her and then, if you feel like you're getting closer, maybe you could ask if she wants to study together.
Original post by Mariee16
Just ask how she's doing and if she's enjoying Uni. Ask a few questions each time you see her and then, if you feel like you're getting closer, maybe you could ask if she wants to study together.


I'm not sure if she is also a freshee or not given that the module can be taken in different years.
Reply 15
Original post by Anonymous
I'm not sure exact;y what to say, what is considered rude / creepy etc (even if it was another guy its hard to start conversations). Is it ok to compliment her and what sorts of compliments are ok etc.


Hold off on compliments, they don't exactly open up conversation much and can come off more creepy than friendly. Strike up conversation if you can, ask how her day's been, joined any societies? I'm taking this module, what ones did you choose? Had any good nights out at the SU yet? That type of thing.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm not sure if she is also a freshee or not given that the module can be taken in different years.


Ask if this is her first year :smile:
Too many questions is not a good conversational technique at all but it is one widely used by people lacking social skills.
Carry on being friendly, it seems to be working so far. If she's still having a bad time, ask her if she would like a coffee after the lecture. There are enough threads on here to show you that there are a whole lot of lonely freshers out there, who are feeling a bit overwhelmed. She may just need a friendly face.
Original post by Anonymous
So I just joined uni and in one of my lectures there is this girl I sat next to only 3 times so far. She always sits in a front corner and was always the only one there until I joined.

The first time I just joined with an empty seat between her as that was the first empty spot I noticed. We did not talk on that day except that she said "Front corner seat!"and smiled at me. I said "yeah"and sat down.

The second time I just sat down and said nothing and nor did she.

The third time I sat down next to her and entered in late as I missed the bus. She looked kind of depressed.At the end of the lecture I asked her if I could borrow her notes. She said it would be easier to scan it at the uni library as that was I don't need to borrow her notes. She then mentioned that she was having a bad day. We scanned the notes and she introduced herself and told me her name and I did the same.

Now I'm having a hard time making friends here at uni and I'm kind of awkward (and she seemed so too). By the type of questions she asked in the Q/A session and by our brief conversations, she really seemed kind and the sort of person I'd like to befriend. She is kind of really girly though (and I'm a guy) and I don't want to come off as a creep. I'm also just looking for a friend and not a date.

Is it a good idea? How would I go about befriending her? What should I say to her next time? Is it ok to ask if her day's going better? Why would she mention that she was having a bad day to me in the first place?

Are girls generally interested in having male friends? Of course I'm not 100% sure that she'd be a good friend but I want to try to get to know her and befriend her if possible. Everyone is extremely social and has friends and I litterally know no one in the uni so far. She is the only other student I got to converse with multiple times even if it was just for 3 days.


My best friend is male, I'm female. I personally find it easier having a friend of the opposite sex. Just make casual conversation with her. You don't have to immediately be friends. Friendship takes time. I'm guessing you two are studying the same thing?

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