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Best way to ditch friend?

I have a friend in my friendship group who happens to be studying under the same department as me at uni. He also lives in the same block as me in student accommodation.

I don't want to be friends with him anymore. I have tried being straight with him and establishing my boundaries with him but he is constantly crossing the line by being inappropriate. I have had enough of him not acknowledging the hints and what I am saying so I don't want to be friends with him anymore.

I have thought about keeping my distance, blanking him and giving him the cold shoulder but I worry that this might be enough. Whenever I have tried avoiding him in the past and keeping my distance he just tries even harder to be close to me and be around me even more, and this is annoying. It just shows that he knows what he is doing but is trying to get his own way.

What should I do?

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Send him this.
Original post by Anonymous
I have a friend in my friendship group who happens to be studying under the same department as me at uni. He also lives in the same block as me in student accommodation.

I don't want to be friends with him anymore. I have tried being straight with him and establishing my boundaries with him but he is constantly crossing the line by being inappropriate. I have had enough of him not acknowledging the hints and what I am saying so I don't want to be friends with him anymore.

I have thought about keeping my distance, blanking him and giving him the cold shoulder but I worry that this might be enough. Whenever I have tried avoiding him in the past and keeping my distance he just tries even harder to be close to me and be around me even more, and this is annoying. It just shows that he knows what he is doing but is trying to get his own way.

What should I do?


Why exactly are you trying to push him away?
Take a dump in his pillow case. :biggrin:
No suttle hinting. One day sit him down and tell him straight that you find his behaviour inappropriate uncomfortable and you don't like it.
Original post by Anonymous
I have a friend in my friendship group who happens to be studying under the same department as me at uni. He also lives in the same block as me in student accommodation.

I don't want to be friends with him anymore. I have tried being straight with him and establishing my boundaries with him but he is constantly crossing the line by being inappropriate. I have had enough of him not acknowledging the hints and what I am saying so I don't want to be friends with him anymore.

I have thought about keeping my distance, blanking him and giving him the cold shoulder but I worry that this might be enough. Whenever I have tried avoiding him in the past and keeping my distance he just tries even harder to be close to me and be around me even more, and this is annoying. It just shows that he knows what he is doing but is trying to get his own way.

What should I do?

Stop "trying to be straight" and be straight :h:
Original post by charloootte2
No suttle hinting. One day sit him down and tell him straight that you find his behaviour inappropriate uncomfortable and you don't like it.

Exactly.
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Coffeetime
Why exactly are you trying to push him away?


Because of this
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2620235
Reply 8
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by charloootte2
No suttle hinting. One day sit him down and tell him straight that you find his behaviour inappropriate uncomfortable and you don't like it.



Original post by RiOt GrrrL
Stop "trying to be straight" and be straight :h:



Original post by RiOt GrrrL
Exactly.


Ok. So today I tried to be straight with him in terms of my personal expectations and I tried to make my boundaries clear. I tried to be kind and I didn't say anything personal towards him, I was just talking in general about everyone. I didn't even talk about his behaviour. I just spoke about how I am and what I'm like and what I expect or tolerate, and what I don't expect or tolerate. I had to be subtle and I couldn't aim what I was saying at him. I made it clear that I am an introvert and sometimes I need my space and time alone without anyone around to bother me.

But then he sent me a really aggressive and nasty text message.

I think he is not happy because I can see how sly and sneaky he is sometimes, and he can see that I see him trying to cross friendship boundaries in a sneaky way cos he fancies me.

I am not willing to tolerate nonsense anymore. I have no respect for him anymore.
Original post by Anonymous
Ok. So today I tried to be straight with him in terms of my personal expectations and I tried to make my boundaries clear. I tried to be kind and I didn't say anything personal towards him, I was just talking in general about everyone. I didn't even talk about his behaviour. I just spoke about how I am and what I'm like and what I expect or tolerate, and what I don't expect or tolerate. I had to be subtle and I couldn't aim what I was saying at him. I made it clear that I am an introvert and sometimes I need my space and time alone without anyone around to bother me.

But then he sent me a really aggressive and nasty text message.

I think he is not happy because I can see how sly and sneaky he is sometimes, and he can see that I see him trying to cross friendship boundaries in a sneaky way cos he fancies me.

I am not willing to tolerate nonsense anymore. I have no respect for him anymore.


The only one being sly or sneaky seems to be you. He is incredibly clumsy in an almost childish, innocent way. You are the one being 'subtle' and trying to manipulate him into stopping being your friend by telling him that you're introverted...it doesn't seem unreasonable of him to stop being your friend altogether just because you sometimes need alone time. Women, honestly...
*not stop being your friend
Original post by Anonymous


Oh dear. He sounds terrible, to be honest. I think you need to be straight up with this guy. Tell him that you need some distance from him. He'll ask why, and you should be direct and tell him all those things. Don't let him change your mind.
Ew he sounds abhorrent

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Anonymous
The only one being sly or sneaky seems to be you. He is incredibly clumsy in an almost childish, innocent way. You are the one being 'subtle' and trying to manipulate him into stopping being your friend by telling him that you're introverted...it doesn't seem unreasonable of him to stop being your friend altogether just because you sometimes need alone time. Women, honestly...


First of all, did you read the thread? Or even the previous thread? If not, read it again.

Secondly, he knows exactly what he is doing. He does not respect women and he is using his sense of male entitlement to get to me.

Thirdly, I have tried to be clear with him in but he does not acknowledge what I am saying. He then tries to be tactical and manipulative in order to get his own way with women.

Fourthly, he wants to be around me 24/7, hence why I said I need to be alone. He does not know when to back off.

Lastly, he tries it with other girls. He is inapproriate and does not understand or respect boundaries.

He is just too much! Don't you get that?! Oh wait, your a man, of course you don't.

Also, I don't deserve aggressive reactions from him or you. He is so hurt cos he knows that I know of his sneaky ways.
Original post by Coffeetime
Oh dear. He sounds terrible, to be honest. I think you need to be straight up with this guy. Tell him that you need some distance from him. He'll ask why, and you should be direct and tell him all those things. Don't let him change your mind.



Original post by ElChapo
Ew he sounds abhorrent

Posted from TSR Mobile


I don't know what to do at this point because I have tried but he has reacted aggressively. It's damaged our friendship. He tries to cross the line ALL THE TIME. Over a month ago he asked me to share a bed with him, but he insisted he did not want to have sex with me because he is against sex before marriage.

A friend of mine said give him the cold shoulder. Do you think this would work? He will pick up on it and ask why I am behaving this way.
JUST TO ADD, if I start keeping my distance and I ditch him then it will affect the dynamics within our friendship group. I don't want this situation to affect my friendships with other people in the group, but I can't be friends with the guy anymore because he will always want something more, and he has sent me a very nasty and aggressive text.

I also want to make new friends, but I don't want my friendships with my current friends to be affected.

What do I do?
Original post by Anonymous
JUST TO ADD, if I start keeping my distance and I ditch him then it will affect the dynamics within our friendship group. I don't want this situation to affect my friendships with other people in the group, but I can't be friends with the guy anymore because he will always want something more, and he has sent me a very nasty and aggressive text.

I also want to make new friends, but I don't want my friendships with my current friends to be affected.

What do I do?


Can't other members of said friend group have a word?

Posted from TSR Mobile
Playing hard to get are we.
Original post by College_Dropout
Playing hard to get are we.


No.
Original post by ElChapo
Can't other members of said friend group have a word?

Posted from TSR Mobile


Couple of 'friends' in our friendship group think it's funny when he tries to get with me, and they think I should get with him.

I told another friend in our friendship group and she said that his behaviour is out of order, and that I should give him the cold shoulder until he gets the hint. But then he will want to know why I am doing that. She said that sometimes he goes too far with her - even though she has a boyfriend - but she is rude to him in response.

My landlady - turns out he lives in the same block as me in halls - knows and she said if he tries anything again she will talk to him and put him in his place - she doesn't take any nonsense.

But the problem is that he will be so angry, defensive and upset if anyone tries to tell him, then he will try to be sly and sneaky in order to get his own way. He wouldn't ever back off. I have tried to establish my boundaries and he doesn't listen. I tried to recently but he got aggressive via text.

That is why I want to ditch him and keep my distance.

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