Why is my best male friend acting distant/strange around me? Help!

Well if you're a female it could be that his girlfriend is jealous, he may not want you to sit so close to him and his girlfriend could be texting him all the time as she is worried. I know it sounds stupid but it could be the reason. You can always ask him if everything is ok when he is quiet or something a long them lines.

Well I hadn't seem him three years though and it was one meeting...why be that jealous/weird about it? It seems unrealistic.

I found it really rude to be honest...and I'm not sure how to broach it sensitively without him getting defensive.

Well my ex girlfriend got jealous over stuff like that so it's possible. Other than I can't think of any other reason why he is acting the way he is unless he is just nervous if he is quite a shy person. I understand you find it rude but he may not realise he is acting in this way. Does he look nervous to you? Yeah it can be hard to broach it sensitively, I understand you you there.

Interesting. Surely he wouldn't have met with me if she wasn't comfortable with it? That's what isn't really making sense to me.

Em...he was stroking/rubbing his face a lot...other than that, he seemed confident but too confident if you know what I mean. Like he was putting on a front, it was a bit weird! We've known each other forever, I'm the last person he should feel like he has to put on a front with.

Love is in the air...

It sounds like he has been distant. Maybe he doesn't feel that close to you. That would make sense.

How do you mean? Surely you want to be closer to someone and not put barriers up if that's the case!?

But you mentioned how he has a girlfriend. Can you imagine, having a girlfriend, while another, the love of his life, a says she wants to meet up with him? No wonder he put up barriers. He must be in some serious emotional pain.

But you mentioned how he has a girlfriend. Can you imagine, having a girlfriend, while another, the love of his life, a says she wants to meet up with him? No wonder he put up barriers. He must be in some serious emotional pain.

Well...in the weeks before we met up we'd been emailing + texting lots and talking on the phone (he seemed more relaxed then too). We've always considered each other close friends so it doesn't make sense that he was so cool with me in person.

Yeah, I agree with this. He probably wanted to see you but might have had feelings for you in the past/have feelings for you so felt the need to "restrain" himself as he has a girlfriend.

Do close friends feel distant with each other?

Yeah, I agree with this. He probably wanted to see you but might have had feelings for you in the past/have feelings for you so felt the need to "restrain" himself as he has a girlfriend.

What makes you think that?? I hope he's not in emotional pain...

The meeting was almost cold - I can't believe that after the degree of closeness we've had over the years he feels that little for me. It just wasn't believable, it was that bad!

Yep, it's the way we act really. Sad for him though.




Well, maybe saying you're the love of his life is a bit much.

From what you've told me, I can conjecture:

You two were very close. And he started to like you. But then you two went your separate ways, and so he couldn't be with you. At some point, he started dating a girl, who he may have told that he liked you.

You said he was keen to meet up, but when he saw you, all those feelings came rushing back. And as my right honourable gentleman TroyAndAbed says, he felt the need to 'restrain himself'.

You said he kept looking at his phone/texting his gf. It was the guilt. He felt guilty. And the only way he could stop feeling guilty is by continuously reinforcing the fact that he was taken.

Of course, this is only what I think. But the facts dont stack up any other way.

Do you think this may also be why he put a physical barrier between us? I feel like it was a big flashing red light that said "I am taken." And it was quite insulting because I'm well aware of this and have no intention of hitting on him! What does he take me for?

Maybe I just need to back off for a while?

The thing is he does want to meet up again...so...it's really strange!

Yeah that's right. He probably didn't even do it consciously.



Is it strange? He meets up with you and acts 'almost cold' but then wants to meet up again?

It's up to you if you want to meet up with him again, shouldn't do any harm.