My Ex Girfriend

Hey guys, so I was in a long distance relationship and it was also my first relationship which lasted 9 months, I lived in England while she lived in Norway. We seen each other a lot at least one week every month and most of the time longer. I am 18 (19 in two weeks) and she was 25 yes quite an age difference but honestly the age didn't impact our relationship. Anyway enough of the Intro haha.
She broke up with me the start of August. It destroyed me as I was truly in love with this girl and for the first week I was an idiot and always texted her every day seeing if we could try again etc which was stupid of me I know but she was really cold with me and told me there's no way and she's not in love with me anymore. Anyway I stopped that and started to go out with friends and was getting over her of course I always thought about her.

Anyway she popped up to me on Facebook a few weeks ago saying she wants to speak to me as she needs to speak to someone who she knows truly cares for her and of course I did and listened and it was something about her step dad. Ever since then she has always been talking to me and telling me she loves me, misses me and how amazing I am and she knows we will get back together. The reason why she broke up with me was because she had trust issues so she didn't like me going out with friends and made me deleted all the girl friends on FB etc. She says she just needs time to her self to work on the trust problem. I am going to University on the 27th and she hated the idea of it. While she loved how ambitious I am and I want a good education etc she just doesn't like the idea of me living in accommodation with girls and she thinks there will be girls there flirting with me. She tells me to message her everyday saying that I love her which I do because I do truly love her and I would like us to get back together.

I just don't get why she was so cold with me at the start of the break up now all of sudden she tells me everyday how amazing, handsome, how she misses me. It has even gone as deep as her telling me to go look out your window at the moon so we could both look it together and she wishes I was there with her and all that to me. I just don't know what to do. I am never going to get over her if she keeps telling me this everyday, I would like to get back together with her but she won't yet because of the trust issues she has.I want to be there for her and I do like it when she tells me how these nice stuff but It will make me not be able to get over her, as I am always thinking of her everyday now.The first week we broke up she was cold, told me to just leave her alone and all that, now all as of the past few weeks she misses me and wants me back but I want her back too. I'm I being stupid in thinking we could get back together? I'm posting this because I am just so confused by her, that was my first ever girlfriend and I just wonder am I doing wrong here and should I just move on? Any advice will do, thanks for reading all this hope it didn't bore you too much :P

Reply 1

IanDangerously

20

She sounds like a rather calculating manipulator and you've let yourself become caught up in it. Don't let her break your heart, if she wants to be friends with you again now you have the perfect opportunity to blow her off and be cold with her like she was with you. You gotta move on and do what makes you happy. Put it down to a lesson learned and the next time a woman tells you to delete females off your FB or not to go out with your mates tell her to take a long walk off a short cliff, cos that ain't normal behaviour buddy. Good luck. :smile:

Reply 2

Rainbow Student

20

It sounds like she's trying to play on your emotions. Don't fall for it again. IanDangerously seems to have hit the nail on the head with his advice so... try that maybe. Your life, your choice though. So good luck either way. :smile:

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 3

tearteto

12

dude, bail. Get to the chopper.

Reply 4

Jimbojambo

1

She is manipulating you. You don't want to be with someone like that. Man up and leave her, it's for your own good. :smile:

Reply 5

joker12345

19

I wouldn't say leave her straight up. She COULD be manipulating you, but then again, it could just be that she missed you after the breakup and realises what she lost. Give her an ultimatum - get back together on cut contact, tell her you were considerate of her trust issues and have done everything to show her she can trust you, now she either wants to be with you or doesn't.

Reply 6

Adammartin95

OP

8

Thanks very much for the replies. I do get the feeling she is manipulating me too. I think when I go university I will cut contact to her as it seems like the best option. I appreciate the help some great replies!

Reply 7

Enoxial

16

Original post by Adammartin95

It has even gone as deep as her telling me to go look out your window at the moon so
we could both look it together

Get out before its too late

Reply 8

NerdyMeg

13

She is treating you like an object. You should obviously move on. You'll find someone far better than her. You still have time. Just don't rush into things.

From my personal experience, people with trust issues are nightmare. Later they keep suspecting you for every move that you take and it becomes really disturbing. You don't want to be under supervision of someone 24x7. You also wouldn't want to explain someone what you did and why you did so. Who wants to waste energy like that?!

Reply 9

Adammartin95

OP

8

I decided to move on a few days after posting this. I still reply to her messages as I am not the type of person to ignore someone. Since I have moved on she has popped up a lot still saying she loves me and that she misses me. Last weekend I was out for my birthday which she knew about, she facebooked me a message but since I didn't read it she then texted me saying 'Hey baby. Don't log on facebook. I wrote something to you but I don't want to make you sad on your birthday celebration. Love you and have fun' This made me check it which she said on the FB message 'I miss you, you're so amazing and so perfect. I was smelling your shirt which I love the smell off and it made me cry' (She still some of my clothes because she likes having them there she said and I don't really need them anyway). I think she popped up to me saying this because she knew I was out drinking and I honestly think she doesn't want me meeting another girl. She even popped up to me last night on my FB wall asking me to go see a new film with her which is out next month. Since I have moved to University she is also asking are there any cute girls here and she asked me if I met any girls when I was out for my birthday. You wouldn't think she was the one that dumped me in the first place. Advice to anyone out there never date a girl with trust issues!

Reply 10

NerdyMeg

13

Original post by Adammartin95

I decided to move on a few days after posting this. I still reply to her messages as I am not the type of person to ignore someone. Since I have moved on she has popped up a lot still saying she loves me and that she misses me. Last weekend I was out for my birthday which she knew about, she facebooked me a message but since I didn't read it she then texted me saying 'Hey baby. Don't log on facebook. I wrote something to you but I don't want to make you sad on your birthday celebration. Love you and have fun' This made me check it which she said on the FB message 'I miss you, you're so amazing and so perfect. I was smelling your shirt which I love the smell off and it made me cry' (She still some of my clothes because she likes having them there she said and I don't really need them anyway). I think she popped up to me saying this because she knew I was out drinking and I honestly think she doesn't want me meeting another girl. She even popped up to me last night on my FB wall asking me to go see a new film with her which is out next month. Since I have moved to University she is also asking are there any cute girls here and she asked me if I met any girls when I was out for my birthday. You wouldn't think she was the one that dumped me in the first place. Advice to anyone out there never date a girl with trust issues!

Can I be honest? This is kind of scary. Hopefully she won't pop up with those shirts on your wedding day.

Reply 11

username163729

12

Christ, you're entitled to friends and the university experience relationship or not. Any girl telling me that I couldn't go out with my friends and talk to other women can just **** off.

Reply 12

IanDangerously

20

Original post by Adammartin95

I decided to move on a few days after posting this. I still reply to her messages as I am not the type of person to ignore someone. Since I have moved on she has popped up a lot still saying she loves me and that she misses me. Last weekend I was out for my birthday which she knew about, she facebooked me a message but since I didn't read it she then texted me saying 'Hey baby. Don't log on facebook. I wrote something to you but I don't want to make you sad on your birthday celebration. Love you and have fun' This made me check it which she said on the FB message 'I miss you, you're so amazing and so perfect. I was smelling your shirt which I love the smell off and it made me cry' (She still some of my clothes because she likes having them there she said and I don't really need them anyway). I think she popped up to me saying this because she knew I was out drinking and I honestly think she doesn't want me meeting another girl. She even popped up to me last night on my FB wall asking me to go see a new film with her which is out next month. Since I have moved to University she is also asking are there any cute girls here and she asked me if I met any girls when I was out for my birthday. You wouldn't think she was the one that dumped me in the first place. Advice to anyone out there never date a girl with trust issues!

She sounds like a certified lunatic dude. You might wanna give some consideration to blocking her online and call barring her phone numbers if she gets any more strange. She'll soon stop the obsessive behaviour once she thinks she no longer has an audience.

Reply 13

Adammartin95

OP

8

Original post by IanDangerously

She sounds like a certified lunatic dude. You might wanna give some consideration to blocking her online and call barring her phone numbers if she gets any more strange. She'll soon stop the obsessive behaviour once she thinks she no longer has an audience.

Yes I know, she has bipolar though so that's why I try and still be there for her. The end of the day I do still care for her, it's just odd that she was the one that dumped me yet the way she goes on you wouldn't think so.

My Ex Girfriend

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