A question for those who 'sleep around'

Sex on a one night stand is a recreational activity, it's fun and enjoyable.. A cheap thrill if you may. It doesn't mean much because you have no emotional bond with that person. It's akin to getting a greasy takeaway after a night out, it satisfies your cravings for a bit and leaves you probably feeling a bit guilty the next morning, but you carry on with your life.

Relationship sex is like the three course gourmet meal. Having an emotional bond with someone is what makes sex amazing. For a female at least the largest erogenous zone is the mind, and how she feels about the guy. If you're in love sex is a million times more meaningful. It's not just an animalistic act of hedonism to scratch and itch, it's a bonding experience. Now why would we want to give up a three course gourmet meal for a greasy takeaway.

There's just as much logic in saying a girl who's only every had one sexual partner may be more likely to cheat as she wants to see what she has missed out on.

Plus, males are just as (if not more) promiscuous than females so the question goes both ways.


Now.

If you sleep around a lot, how can sex be anything meaningful later on in your life when you're with a committed partner? If you've thrown it around, then doesn't that diminish the inherent intimacy of sex?

slut(slt)n.1.a. A person considered sexually promiscuous.


So this is aimed at anyone who has had a lot of sexual partners - let's call it 20+
I was thinking the other day about these peeps who go sleeping around and I've got to ask them something:


If you sleep around a lot, how can sex be anything meaningful later on in your life when you're with a committed partner? If you've thrown it around, then doesn't that diminish the inherent intimacy of sex?

Plus, further on from that would you really be loyal in a relationship? Because if sex doesn't really hold a special meaning to you, then what's to hold you back from having a quickie in the alley behind a nightclub after a few drinks? After all, in your mind it's just sex...

Interesting way of looking at it. I just have to wonder the integrity of someone who frequently has scoffed on sweaty donner kebabs.

Also, I never said this was about women. It's about promiscuous people regardless of gender. I'm all about equal opportunity
Plus it's not slut shaming, it's enquiring about how sluts think, which surely is a fair thing to do.

Where does integrity come into it? If someone enjoys it then why shouldn't they engage in that behaviour provided it doesn't harm anyone? Obviously deeper psychological issues could be at play (as mentioned earlier) but that's a different story.

If you consider sex 'inherently intimate', doesn't that simply demean the significance of one's affinity (or lack thereof) towards a specific individual as the unique and personal yardstick by which all cherished, memorable and thus, truly intimate encounters ought to be appraised within a given paradigm of companionship?

Answers on a postcard, please.

Well the idea of "fun things shouldn't be in moderation" isn't a good one...

Ah now you're onto the interesting part. Is promiscuity natural or a result of psychological issues? Considering how you said sex in a relationship massively overshadows flings, then surely people should be aiming for a relationship over a fling?

Erm. Drugs cause harm? Having sex doesn't. Sex is the most natural act there is. Taking drugs damages yourself and the people around you. What an idiotic comparison.

Yes sex in a relationship is generally better, and a lot of people would love to be in a good relationship... But life isn't like that. You can't just go to tescos and buy a partner. Most people find themselves single for a significant period of time, and don't wish to be celibate during this time. I see nothing wrong with it at all. Of course a lot of people are perfectly happy single, which is normal too.

Too many questions, too many answers. One answer for them all: There's a difference between the kind of sex you do for the sake of it (i.e. one night stands, flings, etc.) and intimate sex. The kind you do for the sake of it means nothing at all. You could have this kind of sex a thousand times and it would be incomparable to that one time you do it with that someone you do care about. You talk about sex like it's the act that has to be meaningful. It's not. The act is nothing. The person you do it with is what makes it meaningful.

As for the loyalty question, well, that depends on the individual. There are some "sluts" who are loyal and some who aren't -- exactly how there are some "non-sluts" (is there a word for them?) who are loyal and some who aren't. Your personality/mindset/circumstances dictate how loyal you are, the number of people you slept with has very little to do with that.

Well if we ignore things like STDs and pregnancy, sex has similar effects to hard drugs like heroin - significant endorphin release. Also I have to point out that saying sex is natural therefore okay makes no sense. Are you then saying that surfing the internet, something incredibly unnatural is therefore bad? Of course not. Whether something is or is not natural doesn't matter.

Moving on, you say people don't wish to be celibate during the time they are single. Fair enough. But here's the catch. If that was all there was to it, then why are most flings only done when both parties are drunk?

*Oh snap, mind blast*

Before I state why I think this is the case, would like to see what you think about the matter.

There's just as much logic in saying a girl who's only every had one sexual partner may be more likely to cheat as she wants to see what she has missed out on.

Safe sex helps to avoid those things.. I'd hardly compare sex to hard heroin usage jeez. No I'm saying that humans are supposed to want sex, it's an urge like eating or drinking, it's not a sin and it's not dirty if done safely and consensually.

Most people hook up when they're drunk because they meet people clubbing. Clubbing itself is usually a strategy to hook up.. Alcohol makes it easier to talk to people. However, loads of people have sex buddies who they see sober too so I'm not sure what you're getting at.

Go ahead, wait till marriage. Just don't look down your nose at people who chose not to do this same.

Comparing hard drugs to sex is just as absurd as comparing eating and drinking, things needed for day-to-day survival, to sex.

No one said it's a sin or dirty...and no one said abstinence until marriage...Any reason you are warping what's being said?

Sleeping around, as in with lots of people, is clearly what unhappy people do. Why? Well as you said, a relationship is better, therefore why don't they do that? It's like someone offering a fine french wine and you turn it down for multiple bottles of Lambrini. Quantity over quality. Yeah, that's what addicts go for, and addiction is a coping method for emotional issues.

Clearly it's a coping method to deal with stress. Get drunk, have a shag, forget about everything briefly, then do the same the same next time. In a culture that suppresses feelings, it isn't a shock, just depressing how many people are out there with emotional issues.

I didn't say sex was as vital as eating or drinking, I said it was just as natural an urge. If it wasn't the human race would have died out long ago!

I've already addressed the point you make about "why don't people just have relationships". Not everyone wants to be in a relationship, it might not be the right time or maybe they just haven't found the right person. If they enjoy sex why should their sex life stop until they find a long term partner?

I don't think you can say that anyone who's had more than 20 sexual partners has emotional issues. That's ridiculous. Sex is fun, people like to have sex. End of story.