How do you stop thinking of dating as competition?

Think of it as searching for your soul mate. You're yin searching for yang. There's no competition because no one else is the same as you or has the same soul mate . Everyone's just searching for their own.

hahahahaha

ChickenMadness you post enough on the feminism threads, do you honestly believe this is how relationships work anymore?

It really is one big competition. The women are the prizes. It is why men will continue to be the most competitive and dominate everything.

Well can you stop thinking that way? For the sake of your sanity?

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It would have to mean curbing my competitive edge and understanding of self-improvement being the root of success and attraction…which is potentially a regressive philosophy advocating self-sabotage

It would be hard and I don't know how to do it I need help with that?

'anymore' whats that supposed to mean? lol.

No it wouldn't. You can still do all those things without believing dating is a game that you're trying to win. You should be doing all of those things for yourself anyway not to attract a girl lol. Since they'd only be interested in you for superficial things. I always downplay any positive shallow things about myself because I don't want to attract those types of people.

Well life is a game I'm trying to win…dating/relationships would be a big aspect…still losing in front of my gf would be losing at life, you see the problem? Still can't afford to lose, risky.

You always seem quite cynical/evo-psych based about social roles. Namely how you believe feminism has ****ed over men and given our generation an entitlement complex while putting unrealistic expectations on men to be attractive and successful in various ways

Well that would be naive wouldn't it? If you go into an interview then you know you are against dozens if not hundreds, thousands of people who have all got great grades, been working on their interview skills, suited up for the application, some who will have had significant life experience/job experience that you haven't?

So why wouldn't you think the same when dating/in a relationship? It only takes someone being better at you at X/in X way to potentially shift your SO's attraction over to them-hence my Mario Kart example

because the person you want to impress probably doesnt suit yeh anyways.

be the best person you can be.not for them for you.after all theyre essentially strangers who yeh dont really know.even if yeh know them well whats to say shell be good in a relationship or youll work.

my advice: let faith decide.meanwhile work on yourself for yourself and...

[video="youtube;nfWlot6h_JM"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfWlot6h_JM[/video]

Taylor Swift is the best person to go to for dating advice guys. Listen to her.

I chose her for a reason

she knows what shes doing now

Yes, people say that

Yes it will, if a complete stranger meets you and sees you lose, they all think of you as submissive; if they see you win, they will see you have potential

There are other reasons of course why I thought she might have liked him, but this is more a hypothetical situation about my general philosophy on r'ships which I do not fully understand

Yes, big trust issues

>not jump to conclusions, yes agreed, cognitive distortion
>'see everyone as a threat', realistically anybody who hasn't allied with me is a potential predator, or at least competing with me for resources (even 'resources' on an existential level, such as the affections of a loved one)

I have this ingrained thesis about the beta provider or "cute guy" who can be used for emotional support and hopefully financial but is ultimately not masculine enough to be respected or admired on the primal level by the heterosexual woman…attraction is a strange, subjective thing

lmao not sherrif srs. What changed?

Well if you use my approach to dating/relationships is a single player game so you shouldn't worry about the other people. If you lose your girlfriend because of something immature and silly thats because she wasn't the right one so you need to carry on searching for the right one. You'l know when you've won when you're both happy.



Well I don't 'believe'. I always mention the legit laws that were pushed by feminist groups that discriminate against men. And the campaigns funded by feminist groups. I don't spout theories like 'patriarchy' I just mention the actual laws and actions that are taking place today to raise awareness of it. I state facts when it comes to feminism.

The evo-psych is mostly just over exaggerated trolling for lolz. Doesn't have anything to do with feminism lol.

Anything which involves competition I tend to clam up. I can do it but I get very stressed, and then don't always succeed, despite putting in a lot of effort, which is frustrating.

I tend also to view it all as threats, such as if a guy beats me at Mario Kart or Laser Quest when my SO is around, then that's a threat to our relationship-and an even bigger threat if I am trying to 'woo' the girl in question, because who wants to date a loser (or Mario Kart or bigger things?)

It would have to mean curbing my competitive edge and understanding of self-improvement being the root of success and attraction…which is potentially a regressive philosophy advocating self-sabotage

It would be hard and I don't know how to do it I need help with that?

'someone better comes along' IS a problem in itself isn't it? Unless you step up they are probably going to leave.