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Fresher - Need help - Feeling down :(

Hey there guys, thanks for stopping by and reading, I do appreciate it, and could use some help from a student's perspective.

So I moved into Uni today, and from the get-go this morning just felt really wobbly about it all, will I settle in at Uni? Will I enjoy it? Will I be good enough? Will I let the family down? etc etc....

So, got in, unpacked all my stuff and here we are.... I'm not a BIG fan of drinking keep in mind, so that's why Im in now at 19:54 writing this :biggrin:

But I'm sat here, just fizzled out, really missing home and just really confused on what to do. My halls are relatively quiet and I haven't seen anyone come or go except for the odd couple and the Uni "contacts", you know, the 2nd and 3rd year people that help you to your room.

Moving on, Im just completely lost, I have no idea where anything is, I have no idea who to ask, I'm just generally lost. After my dad left earlier, I just walked around campus and finally found somewhere to get a toasty, and again, now, an hour later after finding that, here I am...

Im just worried that it's going to remain like this, alone, confused on where everything is, with literally very few people to ask, that, coupled with the home-sickness is depressing me :frown:

Any advice or tips? Not saying "URGH, I MISS HOME, I WANT TO DROP OUT", but I am saying that I'm scared of not fitting in and finding all of my bearings.

Reply 1

HistoryGirly

You've only been there for a few hours. You're just feeling overwhelmed! New place, new start, by yourself without your parents help. I'm sure most people feel like that on the first day. When freshers starts, you will interact with a lot more people, and then find others on your course. It's only your first day, don't feel disheartened :smile:

Reply 2

trustmeimlying1

Original post by fail_in_a_can

Any advice or tips? Not saying "URGH, I MISS HOME, I WANT TO DROP OUT", but I am saying that I'm scared of not fitting in and finding all of my bearings.

its grand man.how bout we have a chat and skype and il give yeh some advice..

im no great example but if I knew this in first year I would have a lot more success last year :smile:

Reply 3

TSR561

Sounds completely normal, everyone in your halls is probably feeling the same! Get out a bit more and just meet new people, that'll help you settle in and hopefully you'll feel more at home in a few days :smile:

Reply 4

Lukey10

i just moved into my accomodation today, but a lot of people here moved in a few days ago, i feel like everyone knows everyone else and i don't know anyone else. outside my room now theres a big group of people, don't know how people make friends so fast :P

im too awkward for that

Reply 5

EloiseStar

Original post by fail_in_a_can

Any advice or tips? Not saying "URGH, I MISS HOME, I WANT TO DROP OUT", but I am saying that I'm scared of not fitting in and finding all of my bearings.

Hi, it's a bit hard to have a big conversation on a thread but I know what it's like to be in your position and I help freshers moving in so if you want to PM me go ahead.

Reply 6

fail_in_a_can

Thanks for the support so far :smile:

Responded to those accordingly.

Reply 7

Sparky:)

Original post by fail_in_a_can

Any advice or tips? Not saying "URGH, I MISS HOME, I WANT TO DROP OUT", but I am saying that I'm scared of not fitting in and finding all of my bearings.

hey I hope you are okay :smile:

for the first thing, congrats for getting to uni :thumbsup:

,

I moved in last year to halls (1st year) and I can relate to how you feel as I was the same; I was fine until the day we went and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

don't know if it will be of any help telling you about my experience;
On the moving in day I was really nervous, we got there at about 1pm and my parent went about 6-7pm because I didn't no what to do. I stayed in my room the whole night too nervous to go out (so you're one step ahead of me :smile:

) when it come to sunday, I decided to venture out of my room as I guessed I needed to eat. the only people I found were a bunch of lads and all they were talking about was the night before and how much they had drank (Which like yourself I don't really drink either, I have to be in the mood for a drink) and I felt like the elephant in the room, and it was just awkward so I got something to eat and went back to my room, checked my emails and skyped my parents (this helped alot as it passed the time quickly and allowed me to talk as I would at home, but I will warn if you are like me the turning it off will be hard). The monday was a free day for me, so I decided to venture out and go to the campus to see what was there and try and get around ready for the start of lectures (the thing i was longing to come quicker as at this point I really was thinking, will this get any better) got some food and went back, after rather embarrassingly having to ask some one where the bus stop was to get back :smile:

. that evening I found most of the floor in one of the kitchens so i went to join them. Quickly I realised that they were playing drinking games (not my cup of tea) so I sat at the back showing my face, saying not a word and drinking a hot chocolate :P (why should I change, take me as I am). When they went out I went back to my room and skyped. The tuesday it was the societies fair, and as I hadn't found anyone at this point i went alone. I knew a place like this would open up friends, however there wasn't anything that took my fancy so went back to my room and pondered what to do next. Later in the day I had my first course meet where I saw a girl from my block who was really nice but I could tell we didn't have much in common at all but it was someone :smile:

The wednesday was the turning point for me, it was where I felt like I was going to be okay there. At the course lecture I met a couple of guys (of which I am still really good friends with) and a girl who I still talk to but not as much. After the module choices me and the lads went to the sports fair which is where I decided that I would take advantage of the taster sessions and go to a few which i did later in the week. Later that evening I ventured down a different corridor in my halls and walking towards me were 3 people who asked if i wanted to go to the pub so I went. These 3 people soon grew to 9-10 by the end of freshers week that I would say they are my friendship group. A lovely bunch just like me in every way. It was a great night where we just talked and had a drink and no judging was done :smile:

ill stop there on the day by day thing, but course wise, as soon as lectures started I found alot of people that I had loads in common with and have been friends with for the whole year. I am still making new friends now and you never know who you are going to meet so please try and stick at it for a few weeks :smile:

I hated the first few days but picked up quickly and soon found people I got on with, in acomm, course and at the sports team I joined.

The decent people will understand if you don't want to go out, and will know that no means no and they will take you for who you are. Do the things that make you happy and not other people :smile:

. I would say make sure you go to the societies and sports fairs and take up something whether it is something you have done before or not, there will be people with the same interests. And just talk to people at the bus stop if they are stood on their own, if they don't talk back then don't take offence :smile:

ERm.. sorry if this in some places doesn't make sense, and is a bit rammbily but i just though you might like to see an experience some one has alread been through that started out like your own.

Have fun and hope you enjoy your course :smile:

Reply 8

pak1994

Original post by Lukey10

I found that is something that very quickly happens, mainly because no one wants to be alone. It might seem like they are all best friends now, but they've only known each other for a little bit.
Go and talk to them. Its something that I personally found difficult, but the most important thing to do is to just go up to people and introduce yourself, and actually once you've done it a few times it gets much easier.

Reply 9

shweta.bh

You're feeling that way because it's only your first day! You shouldn't worry too much because most freshers go through the same, especially if it's their first time away from home. :smile:

Go out and talk to people. Easier said than done, I know, but that's how you'll be able to settle down and make friends around. :console:

Reply 10

fail_in_a_can

Thanks again guys, you're all pipping me up a bit :smile:

Let's hope you're all right and I'm just being an idiot.

Reply 11

Butterfly9595

Original post by Lukey10

I feel the same way, don't worry! I've found it hard as everything is so alcohol focused, which isn't really my cup of tea so I have nothing to contribute....

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 12

gr8wizard10

What university is this? I'm in the exact same boat, although less of the missing home bit.

Reply 13

WorstUNameEver

Yea, which uni? A lot of people moved into the accommodation I've been in for a few weeks, if there is a strange coincidence..

Reply 14

New- Emperor

first things first basically you need to be a little pro active you don't drink ok fine still join your hall fro pre gaming just drink soft drinks. Just because you don't drink don't mean you can't go clubbing clubs are FUN If i were you i would do little exploring with the other people in your hall also offing a cup of tea (when they come in some people move i on Sunday) never hurt anyone . Really you need to just put yourself out there join societys be social and you should be fine just don't be an Anti social prick and you will be ok

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 15

Joshale

get to know your flatmates and people around, first day I moved in I had no flatmates so I checked facebook page for my halls (over 1000 people) and foud a flat party and instead of going to it some people asked if I wanted to chill with Them drinking and had a good night, bottom line is just meet people around, use fb page if there is one