Introvert first day at uni

I notice there seem to be quite a few of these topics on here, so I signed up so I could get some advice on this as well.

I started university today and my family helped me move in (my mum and brother). When I first opened the door to my corridor there was a guy who I could see sitting in his room, so I said 'hi' but because I had all my stuff in my hands I moved onto my room. Then my family and I got my room sorted and went out for dinner, and were out for a few hours.

Now my family have left and I went back to room. I didn't know what to do so I hyped myself up for quite a while so I was ready to go into the kitchen to say hello (it's really nerve-wracking meeting new people!). However, when I got into the kitchen there was no-one there so I put my food in there and went back to my room and now I'm hiding from the world under my duvet.

Any advice on what I should be doing? Maybe I can make tomorrow night a better one? How should I start my first full day at university (my course begins next week)?

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Reply 1

Byakko

Find a society you like and join one asap. They are the best :smile:

Reply 2

TroyAndAbed

Just try & hang around in the kitchen as much as possible so you have a chance to get to know the people you're living with. :smile:

Just do whatever you'd do in your room in the kitchen instead.

Reply 3

Will.M16

I've just had my first week in an accommodation, I met my flatmates by being in the kitchen and one by one I've met them. They're cool guys.

Reply 4

shahbaz

**** that, just get yourself out there, dont think about it!

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Try to push yourself as much as you can in the first couple of weeks because that's by far the biggest window for friendship foundations and after that it becomes much harder to make friends. Alcohol helps here but don't embarrass yourself.

If you're introverted and/or socially anxious I would recommend making sure you get enough down time alone to recuperate.

Reply 6

TheEssence

Leave your door opened so people feel free to come in and say hello.

Reply 7

SnoochToTheBooch

Just go and say hi to everyone. This week you're not an introvert. Infact that's quite a limiting thing to keep telling yourself you are.

Reply 8

Anonymous #3

Yeah, just get à little bit of spirts & mix it with some coke, does the trick pretty fast then you'll feel more at ease at meeting people in the kitchen, like above post says dont over do it though as if you're drunk it becomes obvious then some people may avoid you a little. Just do about à glass of it, can always mask the smell with mouth wash after drinking. In any case by far the worst is hearing people without meeting them, Its not nearly that bad when meeting them, fair chance they will feel the same. Best to meet them as soon as possible as people often soon make friends so you can quickly be left out as once they have made friends they tend to hang around together. Probably à mistake going out for dinner with parents as this is when many people form friendships in the first few hours of moving in, sometimes within minutes. Instant friend syndrome is a strange phonomena in the first day of uni/halls, particularly among women.

Reply 9

countrylad

Thanks for all the advice! I got up early in the morning and met one guy who was incredibly friendly and we walked to the campus together, then I chatted with him for a while when we came back (although chatting mostly consisted of me listening to him - which is fine, I just wish I was more confident to say more myself). Then the other guy finally woke up, who was nice but he was more into doing his own thing with people he knew from before, so we didn't chat much. When we did chat it was kind of awkward but I at least made an effort to sit with him while he ate dinner (whether he appreciated it or not, I don't know). Then the first guy said I was welcome to come out in the evening with him but I gave a very non-comital answer, and then when he had left, he sent me a message on facebook with his number in case I wanted to see him and I ignored it...

It's just because they both know people from before (one of them is re-doing a year at uni) and I thought it would have felt weird to join them (?). The other people in the flat are all third year exchange students, so this isn't really turning out to be a typical student flat.

Reply 10

0le

Original post by SnoochToTheBooch

Just go and say hi to everyone. This week you're not an introvert. Infact that's quite a limiting thing to keep telling yourself you are.

That is a ridiculous statement. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert or to know that you are an introvert for that matter.

Reply 11

felamaslen

Original post by djpailo

That is a ridiculous statement. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert or to know that you are an introvert for that matter.

It could turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Reply 12

RiOt GrrrL

Original post by Anonymous

Since when did "introverted" become an identity. It's an adjective. Don't use that as an excuse to start a new life in a shell. You're just homesick. Erase from your mind what is making you insecure and put a brave face on. Maybe I'm being too harsh because I too many times have been new and have had to swallow my nerves and push through. Trust me, being a recluse is not a good idea. Or...make it work. Make it work to keep to yourself till a social situation happens organically. If you're bothered enough, chat up. If not, do what I do and be amicable be social be confident but then go back to what you were doing :s-smilie:

Like...I don't get nervous to talk, I get nervous when my niceties have invited someone in all the way to the point where they want to exchange digits, go with me somewhere off campus or something. I seriously hate that. Can't we just have a good chat and tear off and see each other tomorrow? :s-smilie:

Reply 13

0le

Original post by felamaslen

It could turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Original post by RiOt GrrrL

You don't know what an introvert is. Being an introvert does not mean you are a recluse. Being an introvert does not mean you live in a shell. That is just ignorance on your part I'm afraid.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 14

RiOt GrrrL

Original post by djpailo

What is wrong with being an introvert? Is everyone meant to have about 300+ friends and want to spend time with all of them all the time? Or are people just not allowed to enjoy the company of a few friends but also enjoy their own time as well?

You don't know what an introvert is. Being an introvert does not mean you are a recluse. Being an introvert does not mean you live in a shell. That is just ignorance on your part I'm afraid.

I NEVER SAID IT IS. OP SAID HE HIDES IN HIS DUVET. Psst...!:

HIDING AFRAID TO COME OUT IS A RECLUSE. So I said

DON'T be a recluse.

:rolleyes:

Jog on bredda! :biggrin:

Reply 15

RiOt GrrrL

And calling me ignorant because you chose to single out one insignificant bit of my entire post, that of which is filled with genuine suggestions as I relate to the OP, is ironically ignorant yourself, matey.

Reply 16

0le

Original post by RiOt GrrrL

Since when did "introverted" become an identity. It's an adjective. Don't use that as an excuse to start a new life in a shell.

Ignorance is a lack of understanding. Your post highlights a lack of understanding of what being introverted means. You've implied being introverted means living life in a shell which is categorically wrong.

Reply 17

Crumpet1

Original post by countrylad

When we did chat it was kind of awkward but I at least made an effort to sit with him while he ate dinner (whether he appreciated it or not, I don't know). Then the first guy said I was welcome to come out in the evening with him but I gave a very non-comital answer, and then when he had left, he sent me a message on facebook with his number in case I wanted to see him and I ignored it...

Walking to university with person - big tick, well done.

Sitting with person two for dinner - tick, well done.

Non committal answer and ignoring offer to come out ...wtf? This was a huge friendship overture and an opportunity to be introduced to other people and you didn't take it! You've got to grab that sort of opportunity at this stage, otherwise people won't offer again. Is it too late to go?

Reply 18

RiOt GrrrL

Original post by djpailo

Will you shut up. I already said what I meant, goodbye, boy. And don't use being an introvert as an excuse to be in a shell. I never said nor implied :curious:

anything else. Ugh. Reading comprehension lacking round these parts on a site for students, so I would assume, educated people.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 19

0le

Original post by RiOt GrrrL

Will you shut up. I already said what I meant, goodbye, boy.

Your first comment only serves to further emphasize the stereotypes of being introverted. Its why we live in a society today where employers look for extremely extroverted people over introverted people. You jumped to conclusions about the OP being a recluse and yes, you did explain that you didn't relate that to being an introvert. Fair enough. But you still haven't edited your post or made any comment regarding your apparent link to being introverted and living in a shell. Why its important is because 99/100 threads in here will tell people to be people they aren't just to conform to what society tells them whereas just being themselves is ideally the best way. The OP is just suffering from a few nerves which you alluded to which is why I didn't comment on the rest of your post. It doesn't make your first comment any better or worse though.