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Boyfriend wants me to lose weight

I recently asked my boyfriend to be honest with me with how he feels about me. He told me that he would quite like me to change meaning to lose weight but yet still says I am beautiful, I know I asked him to be honest but it's quite upsetting hearing that he isn't happy with how I look, what should I do?

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Lose weight.
Reply 2
Dump him, he should be dating you for you. There are better people out there who deserve you more I'm sure.
lose weight or end it

edit: op were you thinner when you first got together?
Honestly, you asked for it.

You asked him for honesty, you should be happy he isn't lying to you. And either way he's still with you and thinks you're beautiful anyway, so I'm sure it's not such a big deal for him.
If you're going to lose weight, do it for you not for anyone else. It's your body. By the sounds of things you're not feeling very confident in yourself at the moment, which is why you felt the need to ask him. How do you feel about yourself? I think there's probably something deeper to this, and it's more about how you feel than how he feels.
Reply 6
If you're a healthy weight, tell him that and ask if he would work out with you to improve fitness and appearance or whatever (ie. build a bit of muscle).
If you're actually overweight, even only a little bit, then there's no harm in trying to lose it. it's healthier, which means you'll feel better, and he'll find you more attractive, even if only because you've cared enough to do it for him. But do it for yourself too, not just because he's said it. And ask for his support, there's nothing worse than trying to lose weight when a partner has said you should, or even just could, and have them offering you treats or stuffing their face in front of you all the time.
Reply 7
You did ask him to be honest with you, remember. I think that you should be more concerned if he told you everything was fine but started looking elsewhere; but instead he was honest with you. A lot of people could probably do with losing a few pounds, and if you are overweight (even slightly), or have even simply put on a little more since you started dating him it is not an unreasonable thing to ask.
Reply 8
Don't listen to the wishy-washy nonsense 'dump him you are perfect and he doesn't deserve you'. Quite clearly he loves you enough and is trusting enough to tell you the truth when you ask him. More than most guys will do. Reminds me of the 'Mitchell and Webb' sketch where the best man goes on a rant about how the bride isn't the 'most beautiful woman in the world'.
Well à pic below head height may help, but tbh Its better that he is honest rather than tell you a load of bs just to stay in a relationship with you, if he did this it would be like you asked non-question, just à 'you're lovely, blah, blah, blah nonsense'. At least you know he is upfront and not hiding his true thoughts, thats real life. Be honest with yourself, if your overweight with flab spewing out everywhere its not fair to disregard it, you need to make à reasonable effort and not overeat/overindulge not that much to ask really.
Reply 10
Original post by laurenkl
Dump him, he should be dating you for you. There are better people out there who deserve you more I'm sure.


You know how if you email someone who's gone on holiday, you sometimes get this out-of-office reply back? Sometimes I think the above statement is the TSR auto-reply. The catch-all statement that comes out no matter what the question is.

So mindless, it's like the vagina talking.



**EDIT** Wait...if that's the case, we should call it "The Answering Cervix"


Yeahhhh!
(edited 9 years ago)
I can see why guys find girls so difficult to understand...

You literally asked for his honest opinion. If he had lied and you found out later that actually he would like you to lose weight, you'd be pissed. He was truthful with you and you're pissed. And he still said that you're beautiful anyway!

Lose weight if you recognise yourself that you could do with it, i.e if you're actually overweight. If you're slim then he's probably got unrealistic expectations of you.
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 13
He obviously loves you... Otherwise he would just lie!

It's your decision in the end, but dumping him for this reason would be very wrong in my opinion!
Original post by ThatPerson
He obviously is dating her because he likes her, otherwise he would've left.

OP asked him to be honest with her, he was, and he still complimented her as well. I don't see what the problem is. Would you have been happier if OP asked him to be honest and then he lied?



That's true, and yeah it's better to be honest. But imo OP would be better off finding someone else than going down the problematic and unhappy road of dieting.
lol if you love him you'l lose weight. :bubbles:

You should do it together. It's fun.
Original post by ChickenMadness
lol if you love him you'l lose weight. :bubbles:

You should do it together. It's fun.


So your basically saying if she doesn't lose weight she doesn't love him? He shouldn't care about her weight if he loved her enough. Weight doesn't define who a person is, but for some reason it's the biggest issue for most people.
Original post by David B
So your basically saying if she doesn't lose weight she doesn't love him? He shouldn't care about her weight if he loved her enough. Weight doesn't define who a person is, but for some reason it's the biggest issue for most people.


It's like dressing up nicely for your partner. Or doing something for them to make them happy. It's just a selfless thing you can do to make someone else happy. Also has no negative affects on you either.

You have full control over what weight you want and the body you want. It's not like asking someone to get plastic surgery to change their face.
Reply 18
Original post by Anonymous
I recently asked my boyfriend to be honest with me with how he feels about me. He told me that he would quite like me to change meaning to lose weight but yet still says I am beautiful, I know I asked him to be honest but it's quite upsetting hearing that he isn't happy with how I look, what should I do?


If you look in the mirror and honestly believe, with as much self confidence as possible, that you're a bit fat, you can only do one of two things.

1) Lose weight.

2) Call me. I'll buy chocolate.

These are your only options.
Original post by Anonymous
I recently asked my boyfriend to be honest with me with how he feels about me. He told me that he would quite like me to change meaning to lose weight but yet still says I am beautiful, I know I asked him to be honest but it's quite upsetting hearing that he isn't happy with how I look, what should I do?


**** Him ( NOT Literally) If he isn't 100% happy with you as you're then stuff him, Someone out there will think you're perfect exactly as you're. No man should ask his girl to change, No matter what, You should love someone for who they're. Guys (Or girls) who have the nerve to ask someone to change don't deserve them in the first place.

What you do is up to you. BUT DON'T CHANGE FOR ANYONE!!!!

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