The Student Room Group

Best insult your teacher has used...

Can't remember too many off the top of my head, but I remember this one I went crazy for

student: ... because I'm your favourite student
Teacher: If you was the only person in my class, you still wouldn't be my favourite student.


Gained so much respect for my teacher after that. It wasn't really an insult, but it was ****ing funny at the time.
Reply 1
i was like


and then i was like
We were on the school bus on a trip getting info on a town. Our teacher was doing a commentary and mentioned how the town had a high teenage birth rate. One boy shouted "ooo yeah!" And the teacher replied "I don't think you'd get any despite that"
The whole bus was laughing!
In Pe , student : being mouthy to teacher
Teacher: get a grip of yourself ,you're bottom set for goodness sake

Funniest day of my life , true story
Original post by Veracity80
Can't remember too many off the top of my head, but I remember this one I went crazy for

student: ... because I'm your favourite student
Teacher: If you was the only person in my class, you still wouldn't be my favourite student.


Gained so much respect for my teacher after that. It wasn't really an insult, but it was ****ing funny at the time.

Lmao. You know what was funny?
My maths professor last term--a middle aged Jamaican man who prided himself on being a "badman"--said to another Jamaican student who prided himself on being a badman as well:

"Take your cap off. Next time you come late, don't come. Don't look at me like that. Between you and me...you wouldn't even come in 2nd place."

:rofl:
Reply 5
When I was 13, my maths teacher wrote as feedback for my parents after the first semester: "Marmots wake up in Spring, let's hope Michael does too"... that was hard to explain to my mother lol
I can't remember the context exactly but at primary school, one of my classmates hadn't done any work whatsoever. The teacher asked him to bring his work to the front & received a blank piece of paper. He tore the piece of paper up & in his thick Irish accent roared

"WHAT A LOAD O' CRAP!"

The class stared open mouthed because we were innocent youths who had never heard such language used at school let alone by a teacher.
Reply 7
Didn't happen to me, but my sister was in an English class, and they were going out for lunch. The teacher put his jacket on and my sister said 'Sir, why are you wearing that coat for, it's so hot.' And he replied, 'Why are you wearing that face for'

:biggrin:
Reply 8
Original post by RiOt GrrrL
Lmao. You know what was funny?
My maths professor last term--a middle aged Jamaican man who prided himself on being a "badman"--said to another Jamaican student who prided himself on being a badman as well:

"Take your cap off. Next time you come late, don't come. Don't look at me like that. Between you and me...you wouldn't even come in 2nd place."

:rofl:


lol what was the guys reaction? they should have scrapped. i love it when teachers #rek students. they could make a movie on this
Reply 9
From my former supervisor at Cambridge (he was very witty):

"That was just sagaciously expressed... Michael, can you repeat what he just said? No? Pity..."

"Of course I've marked your exams. In fact, I spent three solid days marking them. I marked them in bed, in the shower... It was very challenging. I had to use indelible ink."

"The exam was very easy. I know all the answers. The answer to number one was yes... What's that, Alex? No, that was the answer to number three..."

"What would you write to a professor if you wanted to tell him you had a problem with him? Would you write, 'Dear Professor, I hate you. Love, Freddie'? I would be very amenable to that sort of letter, particularly if it were coming from you..."
Reply 10
Original post by TroyAndAbed
I can't remember the context exactly but at primary school, one of my classmates hadn't done any work whatsoever. The teacher asked him to bring his work to the front & received a blank piece of paper. He tore the piece of paper up & in his thick Irish accent roared

"WHAT A LOAD O' CRAP!"

The class stared open mouthed because we were innocent youths who had never heard such language used at school let alone by a teacher.

lol and your class bert stared the teacher for saying what a load of crap to a lazy student?
back in primary school, one of my schoolmates got offended by another student saying "bitch" so the teacher gets everyones attention and says it a few times and reads out the definition from the dictionary

i was like, u wot m8
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Veracity80
lol what was the guys reaction? they should have scrapped. i love it when teachers #rek students. they could make a movie on this

Yeah they always make lovey dovey teacher student films. They need a film where the teacher really schools the student, like puts them in their sad ass place.

But the Jamaican guy who I adore, Andre :tongue: he just laughed. We all laughed. He looks like T.I. but speaks like Bob Marley. Oh Andre :daydreaming: lol kidding. We're mates is all. But anyway :lol:
Reply 12
Original post by RiOt GrrrL
Yeah they always make lovey dovey teacher student films. They need a film where the teacher really schools the student, like puts them in their sad ass place.

But the Jamaican guy who I adore, Andre :tongue: he just laughed. We all laughed. He looks like T.I. but speaks like Bob Marley. Oh Andre :daydreaming: lol kidding. We're mates is all. But anyway :lol:


aww **** son, he just laughed? what a beta move. he should have called out the teacher and challenged him to a strip off
Original post by Veracity80
aww **** son, he just laughed? what a beta move. he should have called out the teacher and challenged him to a strip off

Well it's Uni so we don't wanna do that. Also like the professor always did **** like that thats just the only one I remember. It's his way of controlling his classroom and keeping the class awake lol Well actually, I do remember him saying to girls who dress slaggy, "now don't go and get pregnant." :rofl: Or if someone was late, "so who is he/she?" as in, who were you with sexually keeping your time lol Or like if we're caught texting, he'd say, "Leave that boy alone!" Ah he was funny.
Reply 14
Original post by HAnwar
Didn't happen to me, but my sister was in an English class, and they were going out for lunch. The teacher put his jacket on and my sister said 'Sir, why are you wearing that coat for, it's so hot.' And he replied, 'Why are you wearing that face for'

:biggrin:


lol u wot m8?
Reply 15
This is more than a tad harsh but in year 8 my English teacher who doubled as the librarian said to a girl who was very bad at public speaking during a public speaking assessment: "Speak up! You sound like a constipated Dalek." Poor girl, we absolutely howled at the time of course but looking back now... Ouch. She was doing a speech on flutes for crying out loud, the kind of people who choose to deliver 10 minute speeches on flutes are not going to be taking on public speaking roles in the future.
Reply 16
Original post by Veracity80
lol u wot m8?


Lol what

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