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Should I just lose my virginity to a random guy?

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Reply 40

bluemax

change your friend circle.

Reply 41

Mankytoes

Original post by Foo.mp3

Threads like this remind me just how far off course women's lib and 'girl power' has taken us as a 'progressive' society :facepalm2:

When girls feel under pressure to lose their virginity to random guys at 18 simply to fit in, you know feminism has failed womankind :s-smilie:

Just reading in what you want to there, if you're honest. There's no real evidence this has anything to do with feminism, and boys have always been under pressure to lose their virginities, so why is this different?

Reply 42

e aí rapaz

Original post by Mankytoes

Probably moreso tbh.

If boys could go out and lose theirs as easily as girls could, no boy would be a virgin beyond the age of 14.

Reply 43

Mankytoes

Original post by e aí rapaz

Probably moreso tbh.

If boys could go out and lose theirs as easily as girls could, no boy would be a virgin beyond the age of 14.

Exactly. This double standard is actually evidence we need more feminism.

Reply 44

Saaaammm

I had sex with a random person just for the sake of it and I don't regret it one bit, yeah it would have been awesome if it was with someone I love and care about but it wasn't, if you wanna go out and have sex then you do it, just make sure you're ready for the feelings afterwards (if there is any)

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Reply 45

uuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh

i lost my virginity last week to a random bz. honestly when i was a virgin i'd hype it up and be like 'omg i need to do it with someone i love' which is why it took me until i was 18. i could've lost it when i was like 15 but nah.

looking back it's hardly that big of a deal. i don't even care that i don't know the name of the girl i lost it to haha

Reply 46

Mankytoes

Original post by Foo.mp3

Not at all. The fact is, post the 'sexual revolution' of the 'swinging sixties', and later-day 'girl power', young women feel increasingly under pressure to doll/powder/glam up and strip down (younger and younger), earn/demonstrate 'status' (attention) via the conduit of desirability (insidiously linked to particular proxies for sexuality) in general, and to buy, to some extent, into ostensive 'lad' culture once they get into higher ed (even at elite institutions). I've seen it happen with my own eyes since the early naughties - norms have changed dramatically even in my lifetime within uni-age girl demographic

1. I’m not sure what level of evidence you are after but when it comes to broad sociological thematics naturally direct and unequivocal evidence is virtually impossible to come by; you’re sensible enough to be aware of that

2. Feminism has failed e.g. failed to protect young women from, rather than necessarily actively instigated (as a movement), this sort of distortion of 'girl power'. Naturally most feminists (myself included) would be concerned with empowering women to make free choices on the same level as men, but as a movement, and as a society, we must accept that in our zealousness to promote the idea of female empowerment and sexual liberation, paired with deleterious sexualisation/objectification trends (powered by myopic/morally bankrupt global capitalism/liberalism), we have opened pandoras box

Years spent giving thousands of people advice in this sub forum, plus the scores of girls and young women I have got to know sufficiently over the years, bear testament to the fact that the OP does not constitute an isolated case, and we all know that this particular issue, in this particular age-group, is just the tip of the iceberg in the sexualisation/objectification picture

3. Who said it was in essence?

4. It is different in the sense that males and females generally: i) Have distinct innate beings (including aspects relating to hormonal ~ psychological, sexual physiological thematics); ii) Are subject to different social ~ psychosocial norms and expectations

Are you saying the sexual revolution and the "swinging sixties" were feminist? I mean women's rights improved, no doubt, but they involved huge social change far beyond feminism. The most important probably being that most people stopped going to Church. Do you not think women tried hard to be desireable to men before this? Indeed, that was even more important, as they had to rely on men for a decent standard of living. On the other hand, as far as I'm aware "girl power" was a marketing gimmick that didn't involve any real social change.

1. Any would be great, I mean you are making very bold claims. The idea that it's "failed women" is pretty radical, seeing as you are glorifying an age where it was legal to rape your wife, I see our current situation better than the age where if she did lose her virginity she'd be risking being forced into a shotgun marriage if her parents did find out.

2. It's bizarre you think objectification of women has increased from a time when wives were often seen as property of their husbands, whom they swore to obey.

Sex has always been seen as a right of passage, a sign of adulthood, and there is always a social pressure to act in an adult way. That's true in any society, it's not some perverse thing that we have created. Most societies place horrible stigmas on teenage girls having sex to fight this.

3. Well it's obviously implied by the language. If I said "it's terrible when Asians have sex young", you'd think I was talking specifically about Asians, not that I was making a point I feel is true about all races.

4. But as you say, that's only a generalisation. And generally, there's more pressure on boys to lose their virginity too. Girls often get shamed for having sex, which basically never happens to boys. Exactly, they'd subject to different social expectations- that's the feminist argument, that they shouldn't be.

Reply 47

SirMasterKey

It really doesn't matter. Just have a little patience. Our times will come.

Reply 48

ForgetMe

You will regret it.. At least, I did regret the mistake..

Reply 49

Anonymous #4

I lost my virginity to a random guy in freshers week, ended up sleeping with him twice in the end.
If I had never have done that I'd never have had the confidence to get with my current boyfriend of almost a year.
I say go for it, but know you cannot get attached emotionally.

remember some random guy in a club isn't necessarily going to be focussed on making sure you have a good time and he's gentle enough since he doesn't know you

plenty of people don't have one night stands at uni and it may well be your friends calm down and stop talking about them once they get a bit further on and realise sex isn't a huge thing and get used to having the extra freedom

Reply 52

Anonymous #5

I was 15 when i lost my virginity to this guy at a club i met.. I went out with him like several times. he was 23 years old.He was really nice to me. I really fell in love with him. One day he ask me to come over at his place. I knew he wanted sex.. Anyways when I went over at his house he started to kiss me an rub down my body.. I didn't wanted him to stop because it felt so good.. At one point I didn't want to do it because he had a really big dick and I was afraid it was going to hurt, and at another point I jus wanted him to stick it in me.. We had sex anyways an it was great, we did it with each other like 9 times and I got use to it.. It didn't really work out, we were together like 9 months then we broke up because he cheated on me