Although i have a full-time job i don't want to spend money

Scroll to see replies

Money isn't the whole key to a social life imo...

At this moment of time it is, i live in a small village where literally the only thing to do is either go to a small tesco or one of the three pubs and in a place which is mostly OAPs and Parents, not ecatly my 'crowd'

Reply 21

Tomsta

Original post by Atreus

I don't get how im coming across butthurt ? I'm just saying , his problems are quite minimal compared to most and he is actually in a really good position. I've actually held down a job since I was sixteen , so yh .

I've had a job since i was 17 mate, so don't preach about that kinda "I've worked for longer" bullcrap just because you moved out of your parents house as soon as you could without thinking about the finical responsibility you have, and judging from your posts you're on minimum wage as it sounds like you can only afford the basic amenities

Don't like what i did there? well that's what you're doing, you're judging me based on no information, so next time you may want to check that attitude of yours before posting on a topic like this,

No-where in the original post did i say i was unhappy with the money i had, or that i wasn't thankful

Original post by Runninground

If you gave me a wad of cash i could go an socialise i'd be a bit nervous as i would be on my own but i'd be able to go to somewhere and find something (bowling and Pub are classics of mine)

Reply 24

Runninground

Original post by Tomsta

If you gave me a wad of cash i could go an socialise i'd be a bit nervous as i would be on my own but i'd be able to go to somewhere and find something (bowling and Pub are classics of mine)

So do you have any friends?

I ask because I know how it feels, and to make friends when you have none is very hard. When you realise that the only thing stopping you is yourself then it gets a little easier.

Reply 25

turn-to-page394

Original post by Tomsta

Ouch. That doesn't sound like much of a social life anyway. Maybe you're better off without one.
*cough* says the person with a pretty rubbish social life *cough*

Reply 26

Tomsta

Original post by Runninground

Is it really money causing you not to have a social life? Or are you blaming it?

If I gave you a wad of cash right now would you be able to go and socialise, or would you need to make some friends first? (Sounds a bit harsh but I don't mean it to be)

So do you have any friends?

I ask because I know how it feels, and to make friends when you have none is very hard. When you realise that the only thing stopping you is yourself then it gets a little easier.

Friends generally? yes a lot
Friends who live locally - 2, but they are busy at the weekends (only time i'm now free)

Reply 27

Tomsta

Original post by turn-to-page394

Ouch. That doesn't sound like much of a social life anyway. Maybe you're better off without one.
*cough* says the person with a pretty rubbish social life *cough*

Trust me i'm not better off without one, i had two major breakdowns over as many days

Reply 28

turn-to-page394

Original post by Tomsta

Trust me i'm not better off without one, i had two major breakdowns over as many days

Aww. Due to lack of social life or...? Hope you don't mind me asking.

Reply 29

Tomsta

Original post by turn-to-page394

Aww. Due to lack of social life or...? Hope you don't mind me asking.

Lack of social life, loneliness, feeling like a drone also no girlfriend (ik that one is very cliché)

Reply 30

turn-to-page394

Original post by Tomsta

Lack of social life, loneliness, feeling like a drone also no girlfriend (ik that one is very cliché)

Sometimes, it's possible to feel lonely even if you do have a social life : source- my friends.
All I can say is that i sympathise. And it will get better. Maybe go into town for a weekend or something? Go on a holiday - seeing as you hate spending money, this will be a good antidote for it. :biggrin:

(btw, cliché doesn't mean it doesn't matter. :smile:

)

Reply 31

Tomsta

Original post by turn-to-page394

(btw, cliché doesn't mean it doesn't matter. :smile:

)

Can't take holiday (on Probationanary period) and the nearest place for me to go out in a 20 minute drive away and there is nothing there for me to do there other than go to the music store there (which you can only do a few times before it feels monotonous)

Reply 32

turn-to-page394

Original post by Tomsta

Ok. Um, drive further? :colondollar:

I was thinking more like big cities where there is more to do like shopping centres, cinemas, etc... You could always join a fitness club or something - meet new people etc?
I'm terrible at this... GAH I GIVE UP>_<

Reply 33

Tomsta

Original post by turn-to-page394

Ok. Um, drive further? :colondollar:

Drivng further i would do, but going alone is a very daunting thing for me (i suffer from an anxiety issue i may have already mentioned) also if i'm not with someone i spend VERY little time shopping, cos i can never afford anything mainly :tongue:

Reply 34

emma_829

I'm reading your posts and I'm a bit confused. Your saying that you don't have enough money to go shopping but also that you have money and don't want to spend it, thats conflicting information.

Now, I'm not being harsh but it sounds to me like your doing the classic thing any depressed person will do (I know from experience), you blame your negative attitude on your circumstances when actually it's clear your really making excuses why you can't or won't do something. I think rather than asking on a student forum what you should do, or why your doing it, you should attempt to seek some professional help! Cognitive Behavioural Therapy sounds like something you might benefit from; retraining your brain to realise when your making bad decisions that inevitably just lower your mood even more. It will also help with the social anxiety by showing you techniques to stop your fight or flight response from kicking in. I sympathise with you, but after going through it myself I know I'm the reason why I let it get so badly out of hand in the first time!

I realise I'm being presumptuous, but from what you have said your already suffering from breakdowns so you clearly realise your doing something wrong. Be brave, step away from the computer and enter the world outside!