My college life is quite awkward. Everywhere I go, there's sexual tension. Most girls keep looking at me because I am sexy as hell. But then guys keep looking at me too... And these guys aren't even gay, and neither am I, yet for some reason, there's this awkward sexual tension as if they're checking me out like I'm a girl, like wtf? I mean I've considered it might be pure admiration or even envy without hostility but like...? I mean, I'm quite an observant person: when I sit in class I always look around and stuff, but almost every time, I raise my head and see someone is looking at me - boy or girl, someone is looking at me.
Even my friends, who back in the day weren't like this, look at me awkwardly when we talk now. You might be thinking: "maybe you're not attractive, but rather there's something wrong with you that's capturing everyone's eyes. Like, you're probably just supremely ugly." Well, the supremely ugly part...I used to be that back up until year 10 and I didn't get so many looks. It was in year 10, but more in year 11, where my testosterone levels went off the charts and I became quite sexy. Oh and if you're wondering, the girls who first started fascinating over me were the girls in the year below me...this one time they all actually got in a group and called me "hot spice".
I mean, I'm a nerd. I watch Anime (Chinese cartoons), I play like 3 musical instruments, I used to play Chess but no so much anymore, and I basically sit on my computer all day, but simultaneously I'm this sort of sexy beast.
Can someone explain whether all of this has any potential of being a legitimate life of someone, or whether I've got some kind of autism that comes with serious delusions of grandeur? I mean I don't just feel sexy, I also feel like I'm intellectually superior to everyone which is just you know... l.o.l.