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Please reply asap! Advice needed (serious)

Hello,

I know this is an incredibly personal decision and I know I must make it alone. All the great people in the world, who achieved there dreams took control of there lives at one pivotal moment - I am at one of these crossroads.

I am a week into the second year of BSc Medical Science at a Northern russel group uni, and I enjoy the anatomy and physiology aspects of the course very much, and can enjoy lab work with a context/goal. However, a week into my first year, living with medics, I had an existential crisis, spent many hours on the phone - realizing that is what I wanted to be doing.

I have A*A*A and A in AS, and decided to stick with my first year uni with the mindset, 'if it's really for me, I'll just do postgrad'. However, being a triplet from a low income family, the option isn't just there to fund a 5 year postgrad, and a 4 year would be a push (those who know about the funding will get what I mean).

I spent the summer 'lining up my ducks', working as a nursing assistant and gaining work experience in a general practice, as well as volunteering here at university. I feel I have enough now to apply for medicine! I was going to apply this year for 2015.. but once again wavered and am now sat with the UKCAT deadline in 48 hours and no hope for this year.

I have made a comprehensive pros/cons list about the two decisions I am faced with;

Drop out of second year and apply for 2016 entry
pros; full funding, normalish summers, normalish pace of learning, able to spend time working, gaining experience and travelling before uni (SO wish I'd taken a gap year), starting medicine at 21/22 isn't that bad ect
cons; medical schools might see me as fickle, family viewpoints, leaving friends, possibly ending up with nothing, not having a BSc

then the other
option, postgrad;
pros; less risky, would be well hearsed in the sciences, more mature, probs cope better with it
cons; either paying 9k for most of it (5yr) or 3.5k for first year with reduced maintenance and doing 46week years with little time for a life and a 'youth'.

Now, am I mad in wanting to drop out, go home, work my f*****g socks off, get a great gamsat score (2 years after a levels so needed), experience and really focus on medicine - rather than becoming more in debt and doing a 'stepping stone' course I could do without?

Input appreciated, apologies for the length, this is honestly the craziest thing I have ever done. Not a kneejerk, have thought about this like some monk.

​Beeen
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