what can i do differently to actually enjoy university/freshers week?
It's about halfway through freshers week and I am bored out of my mind.
nobody speaks to me in my halls. There is nothing going on that interests me, so I have to sit in my room all day playing crappy videogames.
all the societies seem to be meeting for the first time next week (plus they look boring).
I don't really know anyone on my course (only spoken to like 2 people for 5 minutes). Additionally, all of the actual seminars are happening next week so meeting people on my course isn't going to be a possibility for a while (and from what I've seen from introductory lectures everyone has already found their groups).
I don't have tickets to any of the events that are on this week-but I probably wouldn't enjoy them anyway.
I really don't like approaching new people. I also look kind of creepy and don't have big tits
, so people don't approach me to speak.
what am I doing wrong? what should I do to actually enjoy myself?
nobody speaks to me in my halls. There is nothing going on that interests me, so I have to sit in my room all day playing crappy videogames.
all the societies seem to be meeting for the first time next week (plus they look boring).
I don't really know anyone on my course (only spoken to like 2 people for 5 minutes). Additionally, all of the actual seminars are happening next week so meeting people on my course isn't going to be a possibility for a while (and from what I've seen from introductory lectures everyone has already found their groups).
I don't have tickets to any of the events that are on this week-but I probably wouldn't enjoy them anyway.
I really don't like approaching new people. I also look kind of creepy and don't have big tits
, so people don't approach me to speak.what am I doing wrong? what should I do to actually enjoy myself?
Original post by IllmaticDragon
It's about halfway through freshers week and I am bored out of my mind.
nobody speaks to me in my halls. There is nothing going on that interests me, so I have to sit in my room all day playing crappy videogames.
all the societies seem to be meeting for the first time next week (plus they look boring).
I don't really know anyone on my course (only spoken to like 2 people for 5 minutes). Additionally, all of the actual seminars are happening next week so meeting people on my course isn't going to be a possibility for a while (and from what I've seen from introductory lectures everyone has already found their groups).
I don't have tickets to any of the events that are on this week-but I probably wouldn't enjoy them anyway.
I really don't like approaching new people. I also look kind of creepy and don't have big tits, so people don't approach me to speak.
what am I doing wrong? what should I do to actually enjoy myself?
nobody speaks to me in my halls. There is nothing going on that interests me, so I have to sit in my room all day playing crappy videogames.
all the societies seem to be meeting for the first time next week (plus they look boring).
I don't really know anyone on my course (only spoken to like 2 people for 5 minutes). Additionally, all of the actual seminars are happening next week so meeting people on my course isn't going to be a possibility for a while (and from what I've seen from introductory lectures everyone has already found their groups).
I don't have tickets to any of the events that are on this week-but I probably wouldn't enjoy them anyway.
I really don't like approaching new people. I also look kind of creepy and don't have big tits
, so people don't approach me to speak.what am I doing wrong? what should I do to actually enjoy myself?
I don't have big tits either, and people talk to me all the time!
I think you need to read what you've written here back to yourself.
What kind of societies would be interesting to you? What do you like doing?
It's probably worth going to a meet if not just to try something new - what societies are there? Just pick one and go for it - if you don't like it after a couple of weeks you can just drop out, that's fine. 
Have you tried speaking to your flatmates to find out what they're up to? It's difficult to approach people but with practice it does become easier with time.
Why not invite them to come play games with you (do you have a console)? That's something a lot of people enjoy doing. Or just invite people out for a pint/coffee/watch a film together in halls/play cards/whatever. It can be tough, but you need to take ownership of your time at uni and get out there and find things that you enjoy doing.
Other people can't do that for you. Universitiy is a time for trying new things, so it's worth going to stuff that you don't think you'd enjoy, just for the experience. If you really didn't have a good time, you don't have to go again. 
If you don't like any of the societies or nights out start thinking about things things that you actually do want to do. Then find people with similar interests. If you see someone else standing alone outside a lecture waiting while you're waiting to go in, talk to them...
Original post by IllmaticDragon
It's about halfway through freshers week and I am bored out of my mind.
nobody speaks to me in my halls. so, talk to them instead
There is nothing going on that interests me, so I have to sit in my room all day playing crappy videogames. no you don't. Keep looking harder. Plus what games are you playing, I'll play them with you
and seriously, have you tried asking your flatmates if they want to come in and have a game with you?
all the societies seem to be meeting for the first time next week (plus they look boring). name some names? What societies were you hoping would be there, but weren't? Have you actually tried these societies or are you just assuming?
I don't really know anyone on my course (only spoken to like 2 people for 5 minutes). OK, this is a good start, every little helps would you like to get to know them better? You could . And you don't have to have them as best friends, it's just a nice way of easing the tension and feeling a little more familiar
Additionally, all of the actual seminars are happening next week so meeting people on my course isn't going to be a possibility for a while (and from what I've seen from introductory lectures everyone has already found their groups).
ah, that's difficult…hence why I think societies would be good for you to meet new people
I don't have tickets to any of the events that are on this week-but I probably wouldn't enjoy them anyway. I've got to say, you're making a lot of negative predictions about Freshers why do you think you won't enjoy them? Is it the drinking culture? Not everyone at uni wants to drink (I really didn't!) but, there are plenty of other things that can be done are there any other events you might enjoy?
I really don't like approaching new people. I also look kind of creepy and don't have big tits, so people don't approach me to speak.
Relax! It's quite normal to feel a bit self-conscious (I've got bad social anxiety to be honest, and I've graduated
) but, just remember, everyone else is as nervous as you!
I bet you look-and indeed, genuinely are-not creepy in the slightest, but warm and friendly
edit: took the tits joke too seriously, then saw you were a guy, oops
what am I doing wrong? what should I do to actually enjoy myself?
nobody speaks to me in my halls. so, talk to them instead
There is nothing going on that interests me, so I have to sit in my room all day playing crappy videogames. no you don't. Keep looking harder. Plus what games are you playing, I'll play them with you
and seriously, have you tried asking your flatmates if they want to come in and have a game with you? all the societies seem to be meeting for the first time next week (plus they look boring). name some names? What societies were you hoping would be there, but weren't? Have you actually tried these societies or are you just assuming?
I don't really know anyone on my course (only spoken to like 2 people for 5 minutes). OK, this is a good start, every little helps
would you like to get to know them better? You could . And you don't have to have them as best friends, it's just a nice way of easing the tension and feeling a little more familiar Additionally, all of the actual seminars are happening next week so meeting people on my course isn't going to be a possibility for a while (and from what I've seen from introductory lectures everyone has already found their groups).
ah, that's difficult…hence why I think societies would be good for you to meet new people
I don't have tickets to any of the events that are on this week-but I probably wouldn't enjoy them anyway. I've got to say, you're making a lot of negative predictions about Freshers
why do you think you won't enjoy them? Is it the drinking culture? Not everyone at uni wants to drink (I really didn't!) but, there are plenty of other things that can be done are there any other events you might enjoy? I really don't like approaching new people. I also look kind of creepy and don't have big tits
, so people don't approach me to speak.Relax! It's quite normal to feel a bit self-conscious (I've got bad social anxiety to be honest, and I've graduated
) but, just remember, everyone else is as nervous as you! I bet you look-and indeed, genuinely are-not creepy in the slightest, but warm and friendly
edit: took the tits joke too seriously, then saw you were a guy, oops
what am I doing wrong? what should I do to actually enjoy myself?
repeating Puddles. I've bolded the phrases that stick out to me and put replies next to them
The only thing I think you're doing 'wrong' (as in the way you think that may be making you unhappy) is assuming
a) you won't enjoy Freshers
b) no-one will like you/want to talk to you
I'm sorry if I seem harsh, but I thought the exact same thing as you are. I know if I could repeat my first year, I would challenge these assumptions/predictions I made about what was expected of me in uni life. (Minus the 'not having big tits', but I had a thing about needing to be a a six-pack stud instead
) If you are really struggling to feel comfy on campus, please remember that most universities should have some sort of Welcome Week team, a counsellor, or Nightline.
Good luck!
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Puddles the Monkey
Have you tried speaking to your flatmates to find out what they're up to? It's difficult to approach people but with practice it does become easier with time.
Have you tried speaking to your flatmates to find out what they're up to? It's difficult to approach people but with practice it does become easier with time.
its 5 days in and they're already fairly close.
its too late for me to get friendly with them now.
wouldn't they come and find me if they wanted to speak to me? (they know where I am after all)
Original post by IllmaticDragon
its 5 days in and they're already fairly close.
its too late for me to get friendly with them now.
wouldn't they come and find me if they wanted to speak to me? (they know where I am after all)
its too late for me to get friendly with them now.
wouldn't they come and find me if they wanted to speak to me? (they know where I am after all)
Firstly, there's no way 5 days is too late or anyone is too cliquey already after 5 days.
Secondly, no. I would assume that you want to be left alone if you stay in your room all day. It's up to you to get out there and socialise, not for them to come running after you.
Thirdly, your post basically reads that you don't enjoy anything or anyone?
Original post by IllmaticDragon
wouldn't they come and find me if they wanted to speak to me? (they know where I am after all)
wouldn't they come and find me if they wanted to speak to me? (they know where I am after all)
If everyone used this logic then no-one would ever make friends with anyone...It's not someone else's responsibility to help you make friends- you've got to do it yourself.
Original post by IllmaticDragon
It's about halfway through freshers week and I am bored out of my mind.
nobody speaks to me in my halls. There is nothing going on that interests me, so I have to sit in my room all day playing crappy videogames.
all the societies seem to be meeting for the first time next week (plus they look boring).
I don't really know anyone on my course (only spoken to like 2 people for 5 minutes). Additionally, all of the actual seminars are happening next week so meeting people on my course isn't going to be a possibility for a while (and from what I've seen from introductory lectures everyone has already found their groups).
I don't have tickets to any of the events that are on this week-but I probably wouldn't enjoy them anyway.
I really don't like approaching new people. I also look kind of creepy and don't have big tits, so people don't approach me to speak.
what am I doing wrong? what should I do to actually enjoy myself?
nobody speaks to me in my halls. There is nothing going on that interests me, so I have to sit in my room all day playing crappy videogames.
all the societies seem to be meeting for the first time next week (plus they look boring).
I don't really know anyone on my course (only spoken to like 2 people for 5 minutes). Additionally, all of the actual seminars are happening next week so meeting people on my course isn't going to be a possibility for a while (and from what I've seen from introductory lectures everyone has already found their groups).
I don't have tickets to any of the events that are on this week-but I probably wouldn't enjoy them anyway.
I really don't like approaching new people. I also look kind of creepy and don't have big tits
, so people don't approach me to speak.what am I doing wrong? what should I do to actually enjoy myself?
Try not to worry everyone is in the same boat as you, it's going to be hard at first and you'll meet people with stuff in common with you. This is all new to you as it is to most people so just try and be social and of nobody in your halls is interested there's always people on your course
Just be friendly and maybe just say hi to people at first and just let on to them they'll most likely do the same for you and you'll end up talking haha
Original post by IllmaticDragon
its 5 days in and they're already fairly close.
its too late for me to get friendly with them now.
wouldn't they come and find me if they wanted to speak to me? (they know where I am after all)
its too late for me to get friendly with them now.
wouldn't they come and find me if they wanted to speak to me? (they know where I am after all)
5 days is definitely not too late!
Just approach them, it's fine. And no, they wouldn't come and find you - if you're locked in your room playing video games people are going to think that you don't want to talk to them.
Original post by Puddles the Monkey
5 days is definitely not too late! Just approach them, it's fine.
And no, they wouldn't come and find you - if you're locked in your room playing video games people are going to think that you don't want to talk to them.
Just approach them, it's fine. And no, they wouldn't come and find you - if you're locked in your room playing video games people are going to think that you don't want to talk to them.
I just forgot actually that I did try to have a conversation with one of them the other day.
I walked in the room and they just said "do you want something?".
That was kind of intimidating, so I don't really want to have to deal with that again.
Original post by IllmaticDragon
I just forgot actually that I did try to have a conversation with one of them the other day.
I walked in the room and they just said "do you want something?".
That was kind of intimidating, so I don't really want to have to deal with that again.
I walked in the room and they just said "do you want something?".
That was kind of intimidating, so I don't really want to have to deal with that again.
Well, you're going to have these kinds of experiences all the time in life - so try not to get discouraged by them.
You can't go through the rest of you existence not speaking to people because one person was a bit blunt during freshers week. Original post by IllmaticDragon
It's about halfway through freshers week and I am bored out of my mind.
nobody speaks to me in my halls. There is nothing going on that interests me, so I have to sit in my room all day playing crappy videogames.
all the societies seem to be meeting for the first time next week (plus they look boring).
I don't really know anyone on my course (only spoken to like 2 people for 5 minutes). Additionally, all of the actual seminars are happening next week so meeting people on my course isn't going to be a possibility for a while (and from what I've seen from introductory lectures everyone has already found their groups).
I don't have tickets to any of the events that are on this week-but I probably wouldn't enjoy them anyway.
I really don't like approaching new people. I also look kind of creepy and don't have big tits, so people don't approach me to speak.
what am I doing wrong? what should I do to actually enjoy myself?
nobody speaks to me in my halls. There is nothing going on that interests me, so I have to sit in my room all day playing crappy videogames.
all the societies seem to be meeting for the first time next week (plus they look boring).
I don't really know anyone on my course (only spoken to like 2 people for 5 minutes). Additionally, all of the actual seminars are happening next week so meeting people on my course isn't going to be a possibility for a while (and from what I've seen from introductory lectures everyone has already found their groups).
I don't have tickets to any of the events that are on this week-but I probably wouldn't enjoy them anyway.
I really don't like approaching new people. I also look kind of creepy and don't have big tits
, so people don't approach me to speak.what am I doing wrong? what should I do to actually enjoy myself?
How to enjoy yourself.
Well, ask yourself "what do I enjoy doing?".
then do that.
simple, when you think about it.
If you want some examples, here is what I did in my first year:
I enjoyed playing guitar, so I joined a band
I enjoyed playing cricket, so I joined the cricket club
I enjoyed pool and darts and having a beer, so I found other people who enjoyed those things and went to the pub with them after lectures
I enjoyed having sex with female students, so I started chatting to girls and meeting them in the uni nightclub. (Being in a band helped with this as well.)
That took up almost all of my spare time.
So what do YOU enjoy doing?
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