The Student Room Group

How to act in shared accomodation?

Hi all,

I'm a 3rd year engineering student and to date I either stayed at home or lived alone. Recently I had to move into a shared flat due to various reasons.

My flatmates seem to be introverted people who value their privacy. Everyone is busy studying or working most of the day so to date, I don't think we have even met each other.

Still, it's a bit of an alien environment for me, so I'd appreciate any tips or advice on how to act in this situation?

My main problem: The kitchen is stocked with kitchenware (pots, pans, etc.) already but I don't know if it's there for public use or someone's own property. I'd rather not spend money/clutter the kitchen unnecessarily but at the same time don't want to touch stuff that isn't mine.

I haven't seen any of my flatmates yet so no chance to ask, but it appears we are on "buy your own food" basis, so the same might apply to the kitchenware.

So, what do? Leave a note? Buy my own stuff?

I'd appreciate any help.
Yeah buy your own stuff. You should have done that before you moved in tbh.
Hiya I'm in a similar situation myself I've just moved into shared accom in London after graduating and I had lived at home throughout uni so I know it's hard to now live with people who have their own lives and are a bit older. I would definitely make an effort to try and speak to your new flat mates. When I moved in I propped the door open and spoke to people on their way around the house. I also met them in the kitchen when cooking at watching TV and they told me not to buy cooking stuff as there was no space and it was all communal stuff. Also make sure you pitch in for example buy toilet roll and take the bin out etc. I've started putting away the dishes on the drying rack in the morning as I'm last to leave the house. It doesn't matter about who used what etc as that leaves to a very petty environment. Also don't be scared to use the kitchen and have people over (within reason) it's your home too and you should feel comfortable too.

Any other questions quote or pm me as I'm going through it all too :smile:
Original post by stuffipost
Hi all,

I'm a 3rd year engineering student and to date I either stayed at home or lived alone. Recently I had to move into a shared flat due to various reasons.

My flatmates seem to be introverted people who value their privacy. Everyone is busy studying or working most of the day so to date, I don't think we have even met each other.

Still, it's a bit of an alien environment for me, so I'd appreciate any tips or advice on how to act in this situation?

My main problem: The kitchen is stocked with kitchenware (pots, pans, etc.) already but I don't know if it's there for public use or someone's own property. I'd rather not spend money/clutter the kitchen unnecessarily but at the same time don't want to touch stuff that isn't mine.

I haven't seen any of my flatmates yet so no chance to ask, but it appears we are on "buy your own food" basis, so the same might apply to the kitchenware.

So, what do? Leave a note? Buy my own stuff?

I'd appreciate any help.
Reply 3
Original post by lyrical_lie
Hiya I'm in a similar situation myself I've just moved into shared accom in London after graduating and I had lived at home throughout uni so I know it's hard to now live with people who have their own lives and are a bit older. I would definitely make an effort to try and speak to your new flat mates. When I moved in I propped the door open and spoke to people on their way around the house. I also met them in the kitchen when cooking at watching TV and they told me not to buy cooking stuff as there was no space and it was all communal stuff. Also make sure you pitch in for example buy toilet roll and take the bin out etc. I've started putting away the dishes on the drying rack in the morning as I'm last to leave the house. It doesn't matter about who used what etc as that leaves to a very petty environment. Also don't be scared to use the kitchen and have people over (within reason) it's your home too and you should feel comfortable too.

Any other questions quote or pm me as I'm going through it all too :smile:


Thanks for advice. I'll do that and hopefully it all works out. :smile:
Reply 4
Original post by stuffipost
Hi all,

I'm a 3rd year engineering student and to date I either stayed at home or lived alone. Recently I had to move into a shared flat due to various reasons.

My flatmates seem to be introverted people who value their privacy. Everyone is busy studying or working most of the day so to date, I don't think we have even met each other.

Still, it's a bit of an alien environment for me, so I'd appreciate any tips or advice on how to act in this situation?

My main problem: The kitchen is stocked with kitchenware (pots, pans, etc.) already but I don't know if it's there for public use or someone's own property. I'd rather not spend money/clutter the kitchen unnecessarily but at the same time don't want to touch stuff that isn't mine.

I haven't seen any of my flatmates yet so no chance to ask, but it appears we are on "buy your own food" basis, so the same might apply to the kitchenware.

So, what do? Leave a note? Buy my own stuff?

I'd appreciate any help.


Use it & don't clean it, just throw it in a sink and leave it. Also "buy your own food" doesn't mean you can't eat what's not yours, so help yourself. Finders keepers bro. And when they're in their room, knock on the door and say "hey" then leave, then knock again and say "there's your kitchenwear in the sink and it's dirty" then leave, if it's theirs they have to clean it.

They're just playing with you, it's all a test. This is what you have to do if you want to pass. :cool:

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