The Student Room Group

I hate uni

So I'm starting my second year and I already missed the first week, because just the though of it made me anxious and sick.

I hate the whole concept of seminars, where you have to participate and always come up with a clever answer and making endless presentations. I am a shy person and i can't form my thoughts just like that, so it's pure suffering for me. During the first year I haven't made any friends, mostly because they all think I'm too quiet and weird. So it's really humiliating to always be the only one sitting alone on lectures and go through everything on my own.
I have a pretty bad social anxiety, which even worsened during the first year, i missed half of my classes and I''m'a total wreck now. I don't know how to find the inner strength and courage to actually come to the first lecture, it just freaks me out.

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Can you talk to your tutor about your social anxiety?
Original post by idontknowaname
are you asian?


Why assume he is Asian?
Reply 3
Original post by idontknowaname
because i thought i could give him some pointers if he is asian as i am too.


....

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Original post by Ladymusiclover
Can you talk to your tutor about your social anxiety?


what would the tutor do? go into my seminar and tell everyone to be friends with me? ill pass.


also it doesnt help when you tutor is a old man who is judgemental and doesnt like wasting his time as he put it getting to know students as he put it:smile:
Reply 5
op just do something really stupid when you go,
like drop a carton of eggs and slip over it or something
wear a nickelback shirt
fall over air
do something to make yourself look stupid,
so you can only go up from there. hit an all time low so everyone sees you at your worst and you wont have anxiety anymore :smile:
Reply 6
size doesnt matter dude, its how you use it that counts. so cheer up.
Reply 7
Original post by raysen
So I'm starting my second year and I already missed the first week, because just the though of it made me anxious and sick.

I hate the whole concept of seminars, where you have to participate and always come up with a clever answer and making endless presentations. I am a shy person and i can't form my thoughts just like that, so it's pure suffering for me. During the first year I haven't made any friends, mostly because they all think I'm too quiet and weird. So it's really humiliating to always be the only one sitting alone on lectures and go through everything on my own.
I have a pretty bad social anxiety, which even worsened during the first year, i missed half of my classes and I''m'a total wreck now. I don't know how to find the inner strength and courage to actually come to the first lecture, it just freaks me out.


You should go to student counselling services, talk there, they'll listen, and suggest something.

Hate it or not, it's what you have to go through to finish it. The more you get into it the easier it'll feel to participate, communicate, give presentations etc. Chances are, you'll have to communicate after uni at work with people, give presentation, participate in some useless board meetings or "fun" team building activities and so on, so It's something you have to over come.

I didn't make many friends either, just some acquaintances. I didn't give a **** about it most of the time and didn't look like I missed out on something much at end.

The whole "humiliation" is in your head, relax have a joint or something. Then go get some counselling at uni.

Why do you care so much what you think, that other people think? who aren't even your friends. Honestly, there's plenty of people I didn't speak to in my cohort, vast majority of them I don't even remember now, only been a year since graduation.
Awwwww I'd hang out with you :hugs:

Try to speak to your tutor or uni therapist about this anxiety as it sounds really bad. And even though its 2nd year, im pretty sure people are willing and open to new friendships so say hey to people and be yourself as im sure youre a great person!

Good luck x
Reply 9
I am a part-time bartender in a very busy night club (have been working there the whole summer), and I don't have problems with people, I love my work,I made great friends with my colleagues, I'm definitely a different person there, so social and carefree, just when it comes to uni, I feel like people are so pretentious and judgmental and I have this strong feeling of fear and disgust connected to uni in general. Last year was a disaster and I can't seem to give myself another chance for a new start. It's just that my colleagues make me feel appreciated whereas my unimates act like pretentious brats that still didn't get pass the 'high school drama'.
Original post by raysen
I am a part-time bartender in a very busy night club (have been working there the whole summer), and I don't have problems with people, I love my work,I made great friends with my colleagues, I'm definitely a different person there, so social and carefree, just when it comes to uni, I feel like people are so pretentious and judgmental and I have this strong feeling of fear and disgust connected to uni in general. Last year was a disaster and I can't seem to give myself another chance for a new start. It's just that my colleagues make me feel appreciated whereas my unimates act like pretentious brats that still didn't get pass the 'high school drama'.


This, exactly this.

In uni, I feel like I have to go through thousands of hoops just to get some good acquaintances, let alone friends. I make all the effort but they don't. Uni is very cliquey in my view - and I decided to only go out with my friends from my old school during the time.

And in part time work and volunteering, I felt appreciated as a person. Everyone smiled and was polite - wish people at uni could be the same.
You're definitely not alone, if I ever get to uni I will feel exactly the same. Really makes me want to drop th dream and just find a job.
Try and talk to someone in the SU, most unis have an elected committee, one of which will be to do with welfare. Although the easy thing would be to leave, most jobs will require a level of confidence- whether it is working with the public or liasing with colleagues. This is much easier to do in a university environment than suffering in a work one.
What uni are you at op?


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Original post by raysen
I am a part-time bartender in a very busy night club (have been working there the whole summer), and I don't have problems with people, I love my work,I made great friends with my colleagues, I'm definitely a different person there, so social and carefree, just when it comes to uni, I feel like people are so pretentious and judgmental and I have this strong feeling of fear and disgust connected to uni in general. Last year was a disaster and I can't seem to give myself another chance for a new start. It's just that my colleagues make me feel appreciated whereas my unimates act like pretentious brats that still didn't get pass the 'high school drama'.


If you work as a bartender than you must be confident? Try and imagine it like the club? And transform your confidence into university
I feel how you're feeling right now. I've only been at my Uni for a week but the difference in personality between myself and most of my class members is frightening. At the end of the day, some people just aren't your type of people. If you've picked up pieces of conversation from others, conversations about things that interest you, go sit by those people and ease yourself in.
Have you considered transferring and starting new?

I recently dropped out of uni for a variety of reasons, one of the main ones is that I felt so alone. I've never had trouble making friends at school or work. But as people have said here, I felt like everyone was a bit stuck up at university. People chose who they wanted to make effort with and ignored others if they weren't somehow 'socially beneficial' to them..

I'd consider myself quiet and introverted, but not antisocial but I was pretty much ignored completely in my flat. One flatmate was even on the exact same course as me but REFUSED to ever go to lectures with me, but someone else upstairs she'd meet up with (even though she didn't know him) instead? It was just a huge blow to my confidence. When I started out on the course a group of us all met up a few times, after a week it was obvious I was no longer welcome with them lot as they'd' all meet up without me, so I had to go to every lecture by myself too -.-

Anyway, you're not alone. If I were you I'd transfer to your hometown uni where you're closer to your family/existing friends to make you less depressed. Or completely start new, at a place you don't know anyone, join lots of societies and introduce yourself to lots of new people and start fresh. I think dropping out of university tends to have a huge stigma, but honestly if you're unhappy there you should get out while you can before you grades are effected - that way it's a positive, smart move.

I honestly couldn't go through uni being as alone as I was in the first month. I stopped making effort with everyone and my grades would have severely suffered eventually.

I wish you luck, you sound like a lovely person and I hope things get/are better :smile:
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by aliendays
X


I'm so sorry to hear this. Freshers/students can be so horrible without even realising it. It's a shame your flatmate acted the way she did towards you, as I doubt she'll remain close with the others. I hope if you do go to uni in the near future, you'll have a better experience :smile:
you could talk to your tutor or gp about some counselling. You obviously can deal with your anxiety as a barperson and counselling might get you through university and into a job.

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