So I'm starting my second year and I already missed the first week, because just the though of it made me anxious and sick.
I hate the whole concept of seminars, where you have to participate and always come up with a clever answer and making endless presentations. I am a shy person and i can't form my thoughts just like that, so it's pure suffering for me. During the first year I haven't made any friends, mostly because they all think I'm too quiet and weird. So it's really humiliating to always be the only one sitting alone on lectures and go through everything on my own.
I have a pretty bad social anxiety, which even worsened during the first year, i missed half of my classes and I''m'a total wreck now. I don't know how to find the inner strength and courage to actually come to the first lecture, it just freaks me out.