GF was sexually assaulted at a night club 2 nights ago?

My GF and I have been dating for almost 6 months now.

I'm studying at Uni in a town 2 hours away from her now, but we visit each other regularly.

She was at mine for the best part of 5 days. We went out on the 3rd.

We lost each other in the club at some point and only found each other 3 hours later ... which was a real pain ... she didn't have her phone on her and was outside the club (the bouncers wouldn't let her back in)

After I found her we walked home together.

She told me that she had been sexually assaulted by two blokes who were with her on the dance floor when she was trying to find me or one of my friends.

She told me one grabbed her crutch and the other squeezed her bum.

She ran off from them pushing one onto the floor (yeah, she's pretty strong).

She's been acting a little odd lately ... I tried asking if she was OK about what happened and she just goes "yeah, yeah I'm great ... I'm a big girl" ... but she doesn't give off the "I'm fine" aura.

Do you think it's really affecting her and she just doesn't want to tell me?

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Reply 1

lukasthepoet

Original post by Anonymous

You wouldn't?

I think going to a night club she expected to have fun/dance not to get fumbled by two horny pricks.

Were you one of them?

It IS assault.
Being at a nightclub does not have anything to do with whether or not it was sexual assault. She was groped by two unknown men. That IS ASSAULT, punishable by law.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 2

beyknowles

Original post by Anonymous

I can't imagine how disgusting one would feel if this happened to them. You say it's common in night clubs ... but has this ever happened to you?

Girls and guys walked into clubs to have fun ... they don't expect to being groped or having their drinks spiked. You must work in a pretty **** club if that's the kind of thing it's reputable for :/

ffs what even is she.. she's a girl.. boys are going to be attracted to her and squeeze her ass if they can clearly see she isn't with a boy. there is obviously something else which is bothering her

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 3

doodle_333

it is assault and someone grabbing your ass happens all the time and most girls wouldn't have such a reaction however grabbing her crotch is a step further and not normal in my behaviour, there's also the fact that someone didn't just walk past and cop a quick feel if two guys were either side of her she probably felt trapped and was scared, especially since she was alone... plus as someone else brought up she may have been assaulted before and it's triggered memories

just talk to her and reassure her it's okay to be stressed/upset and she can talk to you, she will move on in time she probably just feels a bit like she's making a big deal out of nothing right now and needs to some assurance that she isn't

Reply 4

Kovu

Just because something like people grabbing girls asses in nightclubs happens "all the time" does not make it right.

Reply 5

Wahrheit

But really this is one of those types if assault that nobody really cares about, most of the time the only way you'll get arrested for assault is if it's either against a police officer or against a child. If you arrested every guy whose hand brushed a girl's ass or every guy who a girl said to touched her ass then you'd have half the country in prison.

Not saying it isn't horrible behaviour to go around touching women without their consent, but come on, I've had my ass squeezed in a nightclub before (could have even been by a guy I have no idea), and I didn't care in the slightest to be honest. If somebody grabbed my crotch, admittedly, I might have felt differently...but it's not something which should have lasting effects.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 6

Gwilym101

I don't get how people are saying "I wouldn't class this as sexual assault" it IS sexual assault.

Here is the legal definition: A person commits sexual assault if they intentionally touch another person, the touching is sexual and the person does not consent.

Reply 7

minimarshmallow

Original post by Skip_Snip

Whether or not it is actually assault, it shouldn't have lasting effects, and if she told the police at most the"assailants" would get a lift home.
Maybe she's being weird because she's pissy you lost her?

Whether or not it would get anywhere with the police has no bearing on what lasting effects it would or wouldn't have. Events like this are one of two reasons I don't go to nightclubs anymore.

Reply 8

So Instinct

It is by definition assault, but like someone said nobody really cares or presses against these things in today's society. Happens all the time, just move on.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 9

rmhumphries

Please don't make or respond to offensive posts

If someone is being offensive, please report it and let the moderators deal with the posts/user.

Reply 10

k9markiii

Original post by Anonymous

This would be assault and there is never an excuse for this sort of thing saying "this happens in a nightclub" or "it's a part of life" is not OK as people should feel safe and not be groped on a night out. I suspect it will be traumatic for your girlfriend. I'm not qualified to give advice. There are lots of charities that help with this and you should look up advice from them. The best thing to do is just be someone who is there for your partner and able to listen.

Reply 11

CJKay

Somebody please tell me how something happening all the time stops it being sexual assault? I think I missed the memo, I wasn't around in the 1920s.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 12

curlycherry

I don't think people realise how terrible it feels being touched by someone you don't want to be touched by.

Reply 13

tillytots

It is assault, but the responses on this thread just how normal sexual assault is now considered. 'She's in a club what do you expect?' is a pretty sickening response tbh

Reply 14

Skip_Snip

Original post by curlycherry

I don't think people realise how terrible it feels being touched by someone you don't want to be touched by.

It happens to guys as well. And we just tell the person to step off.

Reply 15

minimarshmallow

Original post by Skip_Snip

It happens to guys as well. And we just tell the person to step off.

The fact that you respond differently or don't feel trauma or distress in such a situation doesn't change the fact that it is sexual assault, and doesn't discredit someone else's response.

Reply 16

LavenderBlueSky88

Thing is this sort of stuff happens as a matter of routine on nights out. It just kind of goes with the territory.. That said, it doesn't make it okay and she clearly is quite disturbed by this (maybe more happened than she is letting on).

Reply 17

xDave-

Yes, it's sexual assault. And yes, it's typical club behaviour. I dunno why people go to those cesspits.

Reply 18

RachelFiveee

This has happened to me in a club before and it was disgusting, it is assault but after raging for a while I got over it. Everyone reacts different though so wouldn't be up for us to judge how she should feel or be affected. However, 3 hours is a long time to lose someone in a nightclub, even in a huge one you are likely to bump in to each other at some point. I would reckon there is likely to be something else that happened that is playing on her mind.

Reply 19

Youni-chan

Some responses to this thread make me want to not come on TSR again...

I can't believe some people are trying to justify this by saying 'She went to a night club, happens all the time' 'it's not a big deal' 'What did she expect?' I'm actually shocked people still think this way, it's victim blaming! Regardless, it still was sexual assault!!