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Depression- any advice on feeling better?

Righto, so im depressed, on meds sice summer started and they agree with me and i thought they were helping a bit. Its a very low dosage though so i think i might see my gp about an increase- i still have no motivation and recently have been feeling angsty and hopeless again (what fun)

If anyone has got over depression, i would be very grateful for some advice on the day to day stuff- Like i spend hours in bed asleep so i dont have to think about my ****, then i panic for wasting yet another bloody day. Im going back to uni and i want to make the most of this year

I also find it very difficult to get dressed and leave the house. Not because im afraid of open spaces or anything like that, but because i feel i look so incredibly bad, and that makes me act self-conscious, and...well, you get the picture. I just wish i looked normal, and felt normal, as good as anyone else...

they are basically the two main bits of depression that i need to cope with, so if anyone has any suggestions, id really appreciate it

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Reply 1

Mangaroo

how about working towards improving your appearance...it [probbly] wont go away if you just leave it, so [if thats whats really bothering you] do you want to just stay in, forever upping the dosage on your meds until you end up like this guy [i cant be bothered to find a depressing pic of someone you dont want to end up like]

Reply 2

Figaro123

Probably not at all helpful. But on a serious note, laugh more. It'll do you good.

Reply 3

Mangaroo

thanks..although, hes quite a sexy looking clown :love:

Reply 4

saoirse

oh dear. thats a bit close to home, i worked as a clown for a few years...

Reply 5

Mangaroo

i love the irony here

Reply 6

Mangaroo

btw i dont get it, if thats you in your profile picture, then you arent abnormal..dont even look depressed....maybe a bit too cheery actually =P

Reply 7

saoirse

Depression doesnt mean you always feel really sad the whole time. I can still forget about what is making me depressed, especially when im with other people. But im always aware of being a "worse" person, sort of inferior, and then when im alone again it flattens me. Its crap and its in my head, but its how the depression works, to make the depressee feel ****

Reply 8

Mangaroo

sort out the root of the depression then, otherwise why would it go away?

Reply 9

saoirse

Which is what im trying to do, believe it or not. Look i dont want to sound stroppy or precious, but im finding it very difficult right now and cant seem to just "sort out the root" magically.

What im asking for is advice on coping with the day to day stuff, that i mentioned in my first post :smile:

Reply 10

Mattmoy_2000

Il faut cultiver notre jardin - Candide.

Get on with the quotidien stuff, and busy your mind doing other things, set yourself a project to do, or do some reading ahead for next year's studies. Alternatively, take your own advice and do what it says in your signaturem either way might work. Try it and see.

Reply 11

PremiershipFootballer

when i get depressed, i think about how lucky i am to be alive and how much better off and priviledged i am than most people. it stops me from getting worked up over trivial things when i know some other poor people fight much more serious life threatening issues every day.

fight your own battles. if u think u look bad, get a makeover!

you only live once. So instead of worrying about wasting your life, live it!

Reply 12

saoirse

with all due respect, premiershipfootballer, i would prefer less of the flip comments. you obviously dont understand what depression is. another thing to bear in mind is that you know nothing of my circumstances. stop scolding me for being depressed, it doesnt help

thank you to the people who gave me suggestions :smile:

Reply 13

Mattmoy_2000

He does have a point though. I'm often cheered by the uniqueness of my existence - after a kindly acquaintance pointed it out to me once, when I was very drunk and upset (read: nihilistic).

Reply 14

Profesh

Problem: I have no motivation.
Solution: Why not try to motivate yourself?

Well, I suppose it's more substantial than nothing at all; just.

Reply 15

belle_27

I know what you mean about appearance, its really hard to get out when you're constantly worried about how you look as depression makes you more sensitive and more observant. I always feel that people are staring at me and laughing at me and what I'm wearing but you've got to realise that what you're wearing is prefectly normal and accept yourself for who you are. I went through a stage of trying different outfits and judging whether they were normal or not by how many stares I got or I thought I got. But then I realised that when you dress really nicely you're bound to have people staring at you because they like what you're wearing. You just have to accept who you are and be confident in what you're wearing and remember that everyone has different styles and just because you don't go out wearing the latest fashion trends it doesn't mean that you look ****. Plus I find that trying to shop for new clothes when you feel so down is pointless as you always end up thinking that what you're wearing or what you try on doesn't look as good as what everyone else is wearing so just try to be happy with your current wardrobe.

As for other day to day stuff, try to set a time by which to wake up and stick to it and set a certain activity for each day to fulfill. You'll find that as you complete each activity that you gain the confidence that you are able to do things and that things will get better.

Also as simple as this sounds, the most important thing is to think positively, it may make you feel stupid telling yourself that things will improve and that you look perfectly normal and that you can do things but it really does help.

EDIT: Anti-depressants do nothing to improve your motivation as far as I've gathered from other people, you have to regain that from yourself.

Reply 16

Sarky

When my depression was at its worst i couldn't do anything. I just couldn't be bothered. This summer i had to give up my job through illness and found that i had a lot of time to kill. I rejoined the library and i've regained my passion for reading.

Its difficult when everyone has what seems like a simple answer that you can't begin to imagine doing. I think the key is taking little steps. Some days it was a success if i managed to get out of my pj's, even if i never went anywhere.

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

Try exercising, like going for a jog or a bike ride, this will make you feel better about yourself.

Reply 18

what's in a name

man, advice/therapy/people telling you to get off your arse is so difficult. i mean rationally, one understands what they're all saying and you think - hell, i'd love to be "fitter, happier, more productive..." but translating that into something that 'fits' with your own brain/subconscious/whatever is quite different.

for me, other people's wisdom is helpful, but it sometimes takes time to really assimilate it and then kind of compile your own stance from a combination of all the stuff people shout at you and 'what's in your heart' (sorry about using probably the tritest of all cliches ever developed but it gets the idea right).

as everyone says, i find you have to be able to accept taking little steps. my top 'little step' is exercise - running outside, swimming in the sea, going for a cycle, whatever. getting your heart rate up somehow changes things, even if only for 20 minutes and then you go back to feeling rubbish. all those endorphins beat any SSRI antidepressants (although they have their place too....) and gym's are fine too, but they're full of other self-conscious people and all that nervous energy just gets hectic!

but it's very easy to feel 'well i'm ill, and i want to be better, and i will be some time in the future, but doing something tiny like this is not going to make a difference', and i do all the time, but that just means i stagnate a little more. for everything 'well' people irritatingly say about just getting out and about and having a laugh with your mates, it does help.

accepting the fact that one has whatever 'condition' (sorry to be clinical) for a while (depression doesn't have to be chronic - in time you can change your situation) really helps. when your lying in bed feeling awful maybe try to say 'yeah, that's just my depression, fine'. then one doesn't feel the added pain of 'oh no, i'm depressed, and that's bad' on top of your actual depression.

woah, that was an ENORMOUS post but i've been dealing with similar stuff myself for a while now and i feel like i want to help!!!

Reply 19

Wasabi Tea

Like the two people above me, I also find that exercising helps a lot. I used to walk for 30 mins every day to and from school, and I noticed that it made me feel quite uplifted.

Music also helps me. For cheering up, I recommend Jim Noir or Klaus Nomi, their music always puts a smile on my face. Listening to music that you love but haven't heard in ages can help as well. However, I find that listening to happy music when I'm not happy or not in an 'I-need-cheering-up' mood can make me feel even worse, and in these cases I put on dark stuff like Joy Division's 'Closer', which nearly always makes me feel better. Listening to depressing music while feeling miserable might not work for you, though, so perhaps an alternative is listening to some calming, tranquil music, like Brian Eno's ambient music ('Music for Airports' is really soothing) or one of Dan Gibson's 'Solitudes' series (I have 'In the Midst of Angels', and that's a really nice one). Just try and find something that works for you.

Also, I find that reminding myself of how lucky I am because there are kids dying of starvation in Africa and the like just makes me hate myself even more and so makes me feel even worse. I think it's better to distract yourself with something positive that you enjoy doing, like art, singing, reading, sport, learning a language, or whatever else you'd like to do. I find that video games can cheer me up a little, but be warned, these can be highly addictive, so if you do get into video games, make sure they don't take over your whole life!

Hope that helps, even if just a little. ^_^