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Boyfriend getting really close to his female housemate

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tricky situation :/ maybe you could say you want to hang out at his place and meet his housemates as they're obviously close/important people in his life right now...I don't think it'd be too odd to want to get to know people your partner is super close with, regardless of gender :smile:

Reply 21

joker12345

Original post by samba

If I'd already told her to stay clear because there's obvious friction between my housemates and her, yes. I tend to avoid conflict when I can, and her just turning up like that when she knows it's against my wishes to prove a point [that she doesn't trust me] would piss me off.

He hasn't told her to steer clear as such, just hasn't invited her and suggested he visit her.

Reply 22

BlueSheep32

I think it's perfectly acceptable for him to have a female friend who he's close to - he's right in saying that a friend is a friend regardless of gender. But I would definitely find it odd that he doesn't want you to come & visit him if I were you. His thinking may just be that he wants to avoid friction between you and his housemate, but at the same time he's creating more of it and making you more suspicious by not letting you visit. Have you met his housemate? Maybe you would feel less wary of her if you spent more time with her? Either way this needs sorting out or it's just going to cause lots of tension in your relationship.

Reply 23

TolerantBeing

Original post by samba

Paranoid much?

Perfect way to make things worse, alienate him, and get badmouthed by his housemates if nothing is going on.

Why? Why is a girlfriend visiting a bad thing? I'd just pop over and be like 'hey babes, surprise! :h:

Reply 24

doodle_333

Original post by Anonymous

That's exactly how I feel !!!!

I can't speak to him about I tho or I'm having a go .., but then I think why would he get on 2 trains to come and visit me ?
Am so confused

the fact he wont discuss it and he wont let you round would concern me... the fact he's close to someone he's living with is normal, whatever their gender and doesn't mean he sees her as anything but a friend... but if they're so close I don't see why he wouldn't want you both to meet and get on (since that would help your anxieties too...) and always getting two trains seems like a lot of effort to go to when he doesn't need to

Reply 25

Ecipollini

What about if the roommate is his ex girlfriend and he let her move into his condo years after their relationship ended and 5 years into our relationship and she has taken over the condo and decorated like they are a couple. She cleans, cooks, bakes for him and does his laundry. Now they are buying new furniture together too. She says she doesn’t want me over because SHE is uncomfortable. He won’t stand up to her and say that I need to be able to visit him there. I am long distance and when I come into town now I have to pay for a hotel. Long distance is because I moved recently because I wanted to but because this situation is going on too.