Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

Can't figure this girl out...

Hey. I'll try and give as much context as I can. So I met this girl a few years ago through a mutual friend at her party, we didn't speak to begin with but spoke towards the end of the party and got on really well, we then went home towards the end of the party and that was that.

Fast-forward 3 months, I get a text from her wishing me a happy birthday, my friend had obviously told her that it was my birthday and gave her my number. From then on we'd talk every so often (every few months).

Eventually I started to develop a crush on this girl, however she's Muslim and I'm a white dude so yeah...do the math, so I never told her. I told our mutual friend however, and she spoke to her on my behalf (I wanted to kill her) but didn't mention me or any specifics, turns out her parents are very conservative and she is somewhat too. She does find other races attractive and has openly said so "ohhh that guy is hot" etc but would never date outside her race.

She also has this thing where she just stops replying mid conversation, I know she's not busy because Whatsapp shows the time stamp, so she's literally just ignoring. I know I haven't offended her because it's always light fun/ banter etc and she responds well. Then we'd just not talk till someone else starts a convo again and usually I'd wait for her seeing as she just completely stopped replying the last time.

Her, the mutual friend and I have a group chat on Whatsapp, However, the mutual friend and I are closer friends than her and the mutual friend, although they're still pretty close. Nobody talks on that chat ever. Only when we're organising events or whatever, apart from that, it's dead silent. She talks to the mutual friend on private chat all the time, but never to me. Then when I leave the group (sometimes because I gotta reset my phone) she adds me back in, starts a conversation and stops replying again...like why add me back in the first place. So we're at this point where neither of us are talking directly to each other, she does talk to our mutual friend about me, i.e. agreeing to events I didn't even know about. She always wants me number whenever I change it, but makes no effort at all. She's asked about my previous relationships (I'm guessing just curiosity) and at a game of Truth or Dare asked if I was currently seeing anyone, what kind of question is that for a truth or dare game? Although she's definitely seeing someone. So I'm looking at this situation and have no idea what exactly she wants from me... It's not a relationship type thing but neither is it a friendship either... wtf?

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

I've been in this situation too- my boyfriend thought he could date someone of another culture, but the tension (particularly about his family etc) ultimately destroyed our feelings and made us both really unhappy. This girl seems interested in you, but you need to take a step back for both your sakes- by all means be honest about how you feel first, it depends how strongly you feel, but be prepared for the fact that she might be ignoring you/ playing "hard to get" for a reason. Even if she was interested, she'd probably find it near-impossible to say so, and may be finding it difficult to just have you as a friend too