Girls, have you ever grown to fancy a guy

OP

Original post by succexxy

No. I'm just being blunt from my perspective. I guess you could call be butthurt to an extent. Sick of middle aged men with wives hitting on me. Sick of men who know nothing about me, openly making sexist remarks about my appearance. Men telling me I should become a disposable model when I'm working my butt off to become a plastic surgeon. I am worth more than an object to play with.

Made me realise that despite dating a few "average" guys, against "Hot" guys it was all the same. I've never had a guy come up to me and be like "Ohhhh your personality grew on me." Nope. Never. Nope. I go for a great personality, chemistry on the spot if it happens. Too much time wasted on trying to force myself to like a person because I think they're right for me.

It seems to be something men expect women to settle for. This is a vast generalisation however.

I bet you friendszone the guys who like you for who you are. Happened to me a few times, because I wasn't her type physically. Been in situations where a girl has complained on and on about how there are no decent guys out there...when she is talking to one who appreciates her for her.

Used to bother me a lot younger, but I have grown to accept that some women dont fancy me so trying to look for the ones that do right away.

Reply 42

drbluebox

Original post by Anonymous

because by society standards, fat girls are considered unattractive. I was using that as an example to make a point that attraction is probably subjective. So when people say you should aim lower, it is a lot of rubbish because UGLY GIRLS HAVE STANDARDS TOO.

Not all of societies standards just the media aimed at youth who prey on insecurities to sell products, and theres a difference between a few pounds or even a stone or two overweight and really massive.

I see fat girls have little problems on nights out in fact they have less problems than a single average looking men since men are more desperate.

Reply 43

OP

Original post by drbluebox

Not all of societies standards just the media aimed at youth who prey on insecurities to sell products, and theres a difference between a few pounds or even a stone or two overweight and really massive.

I see fat girls have little problems on nights out in fact they have less problems than a single average looking men since men are more desperate.

Let's not get too clever here, you know what I mean.

There is a reason why men are more desperate, it is just generally harder for men to pull. Everyone knows that women are more empowered in this respect, regardless of how they look.

Reply 44

Original post by Inazuma

I don't mean it in the way it sounded :tongue:

But yes butthurt to an extent. I guess it depends on perspective (hint - men with wives are perfect :wink:

) They want to use me as an object, and I will most happily use them back 10x more.

Anyway, it's not so much forcing yourself to like them. You should never do that no. But personality is a lot, or at least for me, and so that is how they grow on me.
Or for instance - hoping they don't see but just as a random example - my housemates I would not have looked at before but now I live with them I see them in a different way. I totes check them out sometimes or wonder what it would be like. Just in that way - no forcing because that won't work. Been there, I got out because it doesn't work.

I won't go into how I do disagree with some of what you're saying but I hope you see what I meant.

Oh no, I didn't take offence. I'm not sitting here with a witches hat & broom. It's more in matter of fact way. It's always hard to know what people are trying to convey without hearing their voices. :tongue:

I'm just a bit over feeling like an object in society when I'm trying to hardest to get somewhere in life aside from #wifematerial with #datgap etc.

Nah, I get how you can grow on someone, I do. Goodness knows I've done it numerous times. For me, personally the person who grew on me was great but didn't have that BAM CHEMISTRY WOO PARTY TIME. thing going on. There has always been a massive difference between someone I liked the first time we met vs someone who eventually grew on me. Often my gut is right. Everyone is different. I believe you when you say you like them.

I guess I'm a butthurt bitch who is just a bit sick of how society portrays women as this thing you can persuade to sleep with if the dude isn't hot/have a great personality etc. Most guy friends that I have tend to immediately suss the girl out deeming them "do-able" or "not-doable" it tends to be in their mind from the beginning. THEN they might be turned off by a bad personality...after the potential sexytimes. :cool:

I have NEVER met a guy who was like, "ohhhh her personality grew on me and then I suddenly found her attractive, far out what is this sorcery?"
NOTE: GENERALISATION, DOES NOT APPLY TO EVERYONE.

Reply 45

Anonymous #2

It's happened to me twice. One a friend, the other an acquaintance. With the acquaintance it was easier to understand - he was my type and his personality was awkwardly attractive. The first guy still baffles me. We're still friends, though we don't see each other often. He's not my type physically in the slightest; his personality is brilliant, but we're always at loggerheads so I think we're quite different. Liking him or fancying him didn't even cross my mind for the first six months of knowing him and it quite literally hit me over night. I still don't understand why I'm attracted to him and I don't know whether I ever will. I've felt this way for nearly two years now and it sucks. I'd rather go back to the days when I saw him in a brotherly way. There have been guys I've fancied and who have been a lot more attractive and even likeable than him, but none have got me in the same way.

Long and short of it, yes, it can change. Not often in my experience, but it sucks when it does.

Reply 46

OP

Original post by succexxy

Oh no, I didn't take offence. I'm not sitting here with a witches hat & broom. It's more in matter of fact way. It's always hard to know what people are trying to convey without hearing their voices. :tongue:

I'm just a bit over feeling like an object in society when I'm trying to hardest to get somewhere in life aside from #wifematerial with #datgap etc.

Nah, I get how you can grow on someone, I do. Goodness knows I've done it numerous times. For me, personally the person who grew on me was great but didn't have that BAM CHEMISTRY WOO PARTY TIME. thing going on. There has always been a massive difference between someone I liked the first time we met vs someone who eventually grew on me. Often my gut is right. Everyone is different. I believe you when you say you like them.

I guess I'm a butthurt bitch who is just a bit sick of how society portrays women as this thing you can persuade to sleep with if the dude isn't hot/have a great personality etc. Most guy friends that I have tend to immediately suss the girl out deeming them "do-able" or "not-doable" it tends to be in their mind from the beginning. THEN they might be turned off by a bad personality...after the potential sexytimes. :cool:

I have NEVER met a guy who was like, "ohhhh her personality grew on me and then I suddenly found her attractive, far out what is this sorcery?"
NOTE: GENERALISATION, DOES NOT APPLY TO EVERYONE.

tbh decent guys exist, plenty of guys on tsr will treat you with respect. But i bet you wont go for them if you didn't fancy them, and choose to focus on the negative guys.

Reply 47

Original post by Anonymous

tbh decent guys exist, plenty of guys on tsr will treat you with respect. But i bet you wont go for them if you didn't fancy them, and choose to focus on the negative guys.

I go for a guy who has a great personality, has an education/aspiring to be at least SOMETHING, isn't put off by someone who aspires to be the breadwinner due to feeling incompetent. Then looks come into play. It's only fair. I don't focus on negative guys. Once any of them show a sign of being a jerk, they are gone. We all have jerk moments but if it's bad, they be GONNNNEEE. I don't put up with that crap so please don't make assumptions about me. Feel free to make assumptions about my gender though.

Reply 48

OP

Original post by succexxy

I go for a guy who has a great personality, has an education/aspiring to be at least SOMETHING, isn't put off by someone who aspires to be the breadwinner due to feeling incompetent. Then looks come into play. It's only fair. I don't focus on negative guys. Once any of them show a sign of being a jerk, they are gone. We all have jerk moments but if it's bad, they be GONNNNEEE. I don't put up with that crap so please don't make assumptions about me. Feel free to make assumptions about my gender though.

Sorry if i offended you. I just really get annoyed when I read comments by women who make it sound like that all guys are after sex and that's it. That is how you came across earlier.

Reply 49

Original post by Anonymous

Sorry if i offended you. I just really get annoyed when I read comments by women who make it sound like that all guys are after sex and that's it. That is how you came across earlier.

Oh by all means, be pissed off at me. Don't ever apologise for voicing your opinion. I'm a bitch and I know it.

Sometimes I feel like sex is all men are after. So you were right to be offended. I know that isn't what all guys are after. It just gets a bit tedious when people assume you were made for sex due to the way you look. I know not all guys are like that, they're usually the ones who are too shy. Don't worry, when I see ones like that I spot them a mile away and would never treat the genuine ones like crap. ever. :wink:

It's hard to find someone compatible for everyone though, that's the tricky thing.

Reply 50

KingStannis

Original post by succexxy

In hollywood the ugly loveable funny guy gets the hot girl.
The strong amazing hot guy gets the hot girl.
The middle aged average joe gets the hot and young girl.Preferably AT LEAST younger than his first born.

The funny average girl gets nobody or an ugly dude
the 40 year old woman gets a 60 year old man
the 40 year old man gets the 25 year old.

Majority of hollywood films are created by men. They are going to convey that men can get any girl as long as they are a "nice guy". It's not realistic.

Your gut feeling and first impressions say a lot about a person. You can try and persuade her but she'll only be lying to herself.

Except that's the chick flick forumula, which is specifically designed for women. It is an industry based on flattering women that their sexuallity is somehow linked with a form of morality, and that they ought to expect men to perform tasks for them despite them not, at first, being attracted to said men.

Broadly speaking, men don't watch those films.

Reply 51

drbluebox

Original post by succexxy

Oh by all means, be pissed off at me. Don't ever apologise for voicing your opinion. I'm a bitch and I know it.

Sometimes I feel like sex is all men are after. So you were right to be offended. I know that isn't what all guys are after. It just gets a bit tedious when people assume you were made for sex due to the way you look. I know not all guys are like that, they're usually the ones who are too shy. Don't worry, when I see ones like that I spot them a mile away and would never treat the genuine ones like crap. ever. :wink:

It's hard to find someone compatible for everyone though, that's the tricky thing.

I like to be fair myself, first off I do not say a girl should cover up or she is wanting it from the way she dresses directly but I have seen women dress very trashily then get nasty and say men treat them like whores, I remember last year seeing a girl who had massive boobs, wore thick lipstick, NO BRA and jeans cut to show half her bum cheeks walk down the street and say to her friend how men only want one thing, I saw the same girl later in a bar and noticed a guy go up to flirt with her and she screamed at him about assuming he was talking to her due to the way she dressed and how she wasnt a bit of meat(he just said hello)

I think women should not cover up but it shouldnt hang all out either nor should they treat all men who are attracted to them as peverts(they chose to dress that way and must expect some attention) though I dont think they should be harassed or treated as a bit of meat I just think some middle ground should be reached where they can wear a short skirt or dress and not have their top so short it barely covers the nipples then claim men say disgusting things about them

Reply 52

OP

Original post by succexxy

Oh by all means, be pissed off at me. Don't ever apologise for voicing your opinion. I'm a bitch and I know it.

Sometimes I feel like sex is all men are after. So you were right to be offended. I know that isn't what all guys are after. It just gets a bit tedious when people assume you were made for sex due to the way you look. I know not all guys are like that, they're usually the ones who are too shy. Don't worry, when I see ones like that I spot them a mile away and would never treat the genuine ones like crap. ever. :wink:

It's hard to find someone compatible for everyone though, that's the tricky thing.

Sadly, nice guys finish last. I always struggle and get overlooked for other guys - especially if they are better looking by society standards.

Reply 53

drbluebox

Original post by Anonymous

Sadly, nice guys finish last. I always struggle and get overlooked for other guys - especially if they are better looking by society standards.

There is more than one type of nice guy, I am a sweet guy who gets girls finding me attractive in terms of personality but dont want to directly date me, or girls who would find me attractive in personality and individual things i.e face, arms legs but as I am overweight and a geek they are afraid of how they will be percieved dating me, I have a lot of success with girls from places like Romania, Poland, Russia and Ukraine apart from the girls you can tell are so far up themselves since they have all told me the same thing, I am a nice guy, I am larger so they feel safer in my arms, that they like to feel protected(unlike many British girls who see a lot of traditional roles as outdated and sexist) all of them were shocked when I mentioned UK women do not like to cook a meal as they see it as sexist(some went a bit far and said men were bad cooks and women were automatically better homemakers though)

Anyway for the nice guy thing, you get a guy who uses the nice guy label as he cant get a girlfriend, others use it as they have never had a proper relationship to justify things like depression etc, others may be a bad boyfriend when dating but just not realise it.

Reply 54

Original post by KingStannis

Except that's the chick flick forumula, which is specifically designed for women. It is an industry based on flattering women that their sexuallity is somehow linked with a form of morality, and that they ought to expect men to perform tasks for them despite them not, at first, being attracted to said men.

Broadly speaking, men don't watch those films.

Most men I know watch them. It's all over the media. It's engrained into their minds. Smart men see past this crap but I know a tonne who have this deeply secreted into their sub-conscious.

I don't find the industry is flattering to women at all. It puts us into a box. As if we owe society to be pretty. It's not flattering to the other 50% of the population who aren't in their prime, caucasian, attractive with perfect features.

You however are smart. You see past this bs. Thank you

Reply 55

scrotgrot

16

Original post by Arkasia

Considering that's the basic plot for every romcom/romance movie ever made, I would say yeah, it does happen.

Lol, if anything I would say that implies the opposite

Reply 56

Rum Ham

20

Yes, my current partner. We were best friends before going out and over time the romantic feelings developed.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 57

Arkasia

Original post by Biryani007

The films focus on that aspect a whole lot more because well they cast goodlooking people anyway. In real life looks do play a big part...

Yeah but films cast good-looking people in every role, for every film (bar The Elephant Man, for obvious reasons).

Reply 58

tillytots