I'm gay and I really need some advice!!!

Hi, I am a current high school student in China. I have been struggling for a long long time. I did not really realize how serious the problem that I am gay is until last month. I witnessed how dangerous the environment is for me in China, especially in small town, people who have some opinions and they are so cruel to gay people. My parents would be ashamed of me if they find out that I am gay and that is one thing I am scared of the most. Sometimes I just want to leave my parents, cut off all the connections so they will never find out. On the other hand, if I can stay with them, that will be so great because I love them so much. But they will have tolerate the pain.


So I decided to go to the UK for further studying. I took IELTS test last month and I only prepared for that within 20 days. I am so glad that I got 6.5 overall. And I have already applied to the University of Bath and the University of Bristol for one-year Foundation Programme. I thought things were getting better. But it turned out it was not, my father said that he was experiencing a hard time and he could not afford me to study abroad. He added that he could sell a house of our own but that still is not enough for the tuition fees. So now here I am, I really really need some advice, I know that I am not a British, and I probably will be ignored but I still want to turn for help. Is there any any loans that I can borrow? I really do not know what to do at the moment. My parents are so traditional and their minds are not open at all. They have never had any gay friends in their lives, not to mention that I am their only son and I am gay. I am so frightened that they might kick me out of the house if they ever find out the truth. I have also considered the possibility that I study in big cities like Shanghai in China. But my parents are so pushy and they probably will urge me to have a girl friend when I am older. I guess the only thing they want me to do is to marry with a woman, have a child. And that is really the last thing I want it to happen.


I really thought that I would have a bright future. I prepared for IELTS test within 20 days and I got 6.5 overall. I also got full A in all subjects at school. But right now I am so frightened. I've come so far and I feel so lonely and isolated. I don't have any any gay friends around me and I don't know who I can turn to and how can I talk about my sexual orientation.






I really hope that someone could help me.

I didn't even think gay Chinese people existed.. I had never really considered it tbh.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Actually there are lots of gay people in China(approximately 60 million)but most of them are in a few big cities like Beijing, Shanghai, Hong kong.


Posted from TSR Mobile

I see.. can't you just pretend to not be gay for awhile...? just focus on education.. if you have to stay in China then so be it... move to a different part or something.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Yeah thank you for your reply. I was thinking to go to University of Bristol but you know the tuition fee is higher than Bath, but the living expenses aren't that much compared to Bath. So maybe I will go to University of Bristol instead, like you said, I really want to stay in Britain or other gay-friendly country and I will try my best. Again, thank you. It's always so nice to see kind people.


Posted from TSR Mobile

You're welcome Perhaps you could get a part time job while you are studying to help cover your living costs? Also I'm not sure about the fees/ living costs but have you considered Brighton university? Brighton is known for having quite a large gay community which is probably exactly what you need if you're struggling to feel accepted.