Think I might have post viral depression
So during summer I got glandular fever and I got it pretty bad. I was bed bound for 3 weeks as it got tonsillitis as well. Ever since i've been pretty tired a lot of the time. However, ever since uni started, it has gotten much worse and i'm starting to feel like I am getting depressed, or that I have been depressed for a while but uni has exacerbated it.
Since i've started, i've felt so empty and numb. I've become a shadow of the person I was. I used to be quite naturally social but now i'm anything but - I really don't care at all to what people have to say, including the people i've made friends with. I feel as if I am an extremely uninteresting person and that no one really wants to chat with me. I have to really force myself to have conversations with people because it seems like the right thing to do. I've been constantly overanalysing ever single conversation/action. I went through a bad spell last week of thinking everyone hated me, including all of my family and that i've been a burden on everyone my entire life. I've had moments where I just run back to my room and break down and cry for no real reason other than I just feel so trapped all the time. I'm not interested in anything anymore really. I feel pretty "meh" about everything. My head's a mess and I can't concentrate in lectures or tutorials and feel like i'm gonna flunk it completely. All I think about is going back to my room and going to bed.
I really don't wanna drop out because my mum has worked so hard and saved so much so that I can go to uni and I don't want that to go to waste. I never want to let her down like that and don't want to let myself down like that. I want to get back to the way I used to be and enjoy uni and stop feeling so bad all the time.
I realise that I probably sound very whiney and I apologise if i've offended anyone who deals with severe depression. People obviously have gone through much, much worse than I, but I thought i'd just write how i'm feeling and see if anyone has had experience this after been ill and been fine afterwards and/or someone has advice in general?
Since i've started, i've felt so empty and numb. I've become a shadow of the person I was. I used to be quite naturally social but now i'm anything but - I really don't care at all to what people have to say, including the people i've made friends with. I feel as if I am an extremely uninteresting person and that no one really wants to chat with me. I have to really force myself to have conversations with people because it seems like the right thing to do. I've been constantly overanalysing ever single conversation/action. I went through a bad spell last week of thinking everyone hated me, including all of my family and that i've been a burden on everyone my entire life. I've had moments where I just run back to my room and break down and cry for no real reason other than I just feel so trapped all the time. I'm not interested in anything anymore really. I feel pretty "meh" about everything. My head's a mess and I can't concentrate in lectures or tutorials and feel like i'm gonna flunk it completely. All I think about is going back to my room and going to bed.
I really don't wanna drop out because my mum has worked so hard and saved so much so that I can go to uni and I don't want that to go to waste. I never want to let her down like that and don't want to let myself down like that. I want to get back to the way I used to be and enjoy uni and stop feeling so bad all the time.
I realise that I probably sound very whiney and I apologise if i've offended anyone who deals with severe depression. People obviously have gone through much, much worse than I, but I thought i'd just write how i'm feeling and see if anyone has had experience this after been ill and been fine afterwards and/or someone has advice in general?
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