Feeling completely out of my depth at uni
I've been at uni for two weeks and the whole experience has just been utterly overwhelming. I've honestly never been this unhappy before. I feel totally aimless, no direction or purpose, like I'm piling up all this debt for nothing.
I'm really struggling to make friends - this has always been a problem for me, I've got basically no self-esteem thanks to plenty of primary and secondary school bullying. Everyone seems to have already settled into the friend groups and so it's impossible to talk to people in lectures or anytime, really. When I'm not trekking to lectures in the rain I'm just sitting in my room with nothing to do. I've had a look at the societies here but there aren't many that interest me, and the ones that do are either too expensive or run on the same evenings so I have nothing to do for the rest do the week.
I've got so unhappy that even little every day things (like doing laundry and cooking) are just becoming too much to think about. I know I need a degree or I've definitely got no future, but I can't see myself going anywhere in the subject I'm doing either. The really annoying part is that I'm generally an academic kind of person, I did well at A level in science subjects, so everyone is expecting me to get a science degree and keep going and do well, but I'm just hating it at the moment. I don't know if I have any other option though.
Has anyone been in this situation and have any advice? I feel completely trapped and stuck and I have no idea who to talk to or what to do. Thanks x
I'm really struggling to make friends - this has always been a problem for me, I've got basically no self-esteem thanks to plenty of primary and secondary school bullying. Everyone seems to have already settled into the friend groups and so it's impossible to talk to people in lectures or anytime, really. When I'm not trekking to lectures in the rain I'm just sitting in my room with nothing to do. I've had a look at the societies here but there aren't many that interest me, and the ones that do are either too expensive or run on the same evenings so I have nothing to do for the rest do the week.
I've got so unhappy that even little every day things (like doing laundry and cooking) are just becoming too much to think about. I know I need a degree or I've definitely got no future, but I can't see myself going anywhere in the subject I'm doing either. The really annoying part is that I'm generally an academic kind of person, I did well at A level in science subjects, so everyone is expecting me to get a science degree and keep going and do well, but I'm just hating it at the moment. I don't know if I have any other option though.
Has anyone been in this situation and have any advice? I feel completely trapped and stuck and I have no idea who to talk to or what to do. Thanks x
Can I just say- you've only had two weeks of university, people won't have settled into friendship groups.
University isn't like school and friendships groups change around/expand a lot at university.
People are more open-minded at university and it's definitely much less cliquey than at school, so don't worry about not having a group of friends after two weeks.
I remember clearly a talk that was given to us during Freshers Week. We were told that we wouldn't even talk to whoever we were sitting next to at that particular moment ie "our friends" come the end of university. They were pretty much right :P
Also, although other people may not look like they are struggling, many will be. Many other students will secretly be making late night calls to their parents, feeling homesick, wondering if they have made the right decision by going to uni, worrying if they've chosen the wrong course etc
It will get better though and don't beat yourself up about it. Making the transition from school to university isn't meant to be a doddle, everything is so different, but it will all come together in the end.
It may be worth visiting your university counselling centre or well-being centre because there are experts there with whom you can discuss your concerns. It is free and confidential and will probably help you feel less anxious.
Perhaps try just one of the societies that you like the look of because you will probably meet some people there who will become good friends
University isn't like school and friendships groups change around/expand a lot at university.
People are more open-minded at university and it's definitely much less cliquey than at school, so don't worry about not having a group of friends after two weeks.
I remember clearly a talk that was given to us during Freshers Week. We were told that we wouldn't even talk to whoever we were sitting next to at that particular moment ie "our friends" come the end of university. They were pretty much right :P
Also, although other people may not look like they are struggling, many will be. Many other students will secretly be making late night calls to their parents, feeling homesick, wondering if they have made the right decision by going to uni, worrying if they've chosen the wrong course etc
It will get better though and don't beat yourself up about it. Making the transition from school to university isn't meant to be a doddle, everything is so different, but it will all come together in the end.
It may be worth visiting your university counselling centre or well-being centre because there are experts there with whom you can discuss your concerns. It is free and confidential and will probably help you feel less anxious.
Perhaps try just one of the societies that you like the look of because you will probably meet some people there who will become good friends
Original post by randomaccess
Can I just say- you've only had two weeks of university, people won't have settled into friendship groups.
University isn't like school and friendships groups change around/expand a lot at university.
People are more open-minded at university and it's definitely much less cliquey than at school, so don't worry about not having a group of friends after two weeks.
I remember clearly a talk that was given to us during Freshers Week. We were told that we wouldn't even talk to whoever we were sitting next to at that particular moment ie "our friends" come the end of university. They were pretty much right :P
Also, although other people may not look like they are struggling, many will be. Many other students will secretly be making late night calls to their parents, feeling homesick, wondering if they have made the right decision by going to uni, worrying if they've chosen the wrong course etc
It will get better though and don't beat yourself up about it. Making the transition from school to university isn't meant to be a doddle, everything is so different, but it will all come together in the end.
It may be worth visiting your university counselling centre or well-being centre because there are experts there with whom you can discuss your concerns. It is free and confidential and will probably help you feel less anxious.
Perhaps try just one of the societies that you like the look of because you will probably meet some people there who will become good friends
University isn't like school and friendships groups change around/expand a lot at university.
People are more open-minded at university and it's definitely much less cliquey than at school, so don't worry about not having a group of friends after two weeks.
I remember clearly a talk that was given to us during Freshers Week. We were told that we wouldn't even talk to whoever we were sitting next to at that particular moment ie "our friends" come the end of university. They were pretty much right :P
Also, although other people may not look like they are struggling, many will be. Many other students will secretly be making late night calls to their parents, feeling homesick, wondering if they have made the right decision by going to uni, worrying if they've chosen the wrong course etc
It will get better though and don't beat yourself up about it. Making the transition from school to university isn't meant to be a doddle, everything is so different, but it will all come together in the end.
It may be worth visiting your university counselling centre or well-being centre because there are experts there with whom you can discuss your concerns. It is free and confidential and will probably help you feel less anxious.
Perhaps try just one of the societies that you like the look of because you will probably meet some people there who will become good friends
Thanks for the reply! That's all quite reassuring to hear from someone who's clearly done it all before. I think I'll give it a few more weeks before making any rash decisions. I've made an appointment with the student welfare people here and I'll talk it over with someone next week. Hopefully things will get better as more time goes past. Thanks!
x
