Why do I have so much trouble attracting women?

It kinda perplexes me. Most woman just kinda don't really ever pay any interest at all and I'm not sure why, I'm not bad looking and I'm not a massive creep. My mates don't get it either, I mean sure they banter about it all the time but everyone just thinks I'm unlucky I guess.

Granted I have been very unlucky at the best of times but I'm 21 now ffs. I'm kinda sick of walking around with the lingering feeling there is something wrong with me that I can't fix. I can be a bit ridged/shy depending on my mood but most of the time I'm quite a cheeky/witty guy and get along with everyone.

Someone once said its because I don't go out of my way to talk to new people and granted I haven't for about a year but I used to try quite a bit and it never really got me anywhere. Granted I've never approached random people sober but I don't know anyone who does tbh.

Any advice?

Reply 1

Domestrella

5

Most women don't pay interest in most men either, so it's not unusual to not be fighting off hordes. If you don't want to approach them ever, you will have to be more alert to signs if they approach you. Wit is often taken for sarcasm and it's also often too complex for the person listening, or even just not funny, so maybe tone it down a little around women if you do it alot.

Reply 2

Jebedee

17

If you're just waiting for it to happen on its own, you have a long wait on your hands my friend. Either be proactive or don't complain. There is no luck involved here.

Reply 3

Riberye

OP

3

Original post by Jebedee

If you're just waiting for it to happen on its own, you have a long wait on your hands my friend. Either be proactive or don't complain. There is no luck involved here.

How does one be proactive then? The only chance I get to meet new people is at college and its kinda hard when they're either in a massive group or I have my mates in the background. I'm not trying to be smart or anything but I would generally like some advice. I have rarely ever just introduced myself to random people with no affiliation.

Tried online dated but tbh I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life then try that rubbish again.

And I have had some pretty bad luck just not in the typical sense. I live in the middle of nowhere and have run into some pretty foul people and I can't go out on the piss that much which is a shame because that makes it really easy :/

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 4

CRW1996

10

Original post by Riberye

How does one be proactive then? The only chance I get to meet new people is at college and its kinda hard when they're either in a massive group or I have my mates in the background. I'm not trying to be smart or anything but I would generally like some advice. I have rarely ever just introduced myself to random people with no affiliation.

Tried online dated but tbh I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life then try that rubbish again.

And I have had some pretty bad luck just not in the typical sense. I live in the middle of nowhere and have run into some pretty foul people and I can't go out on the piss that much which is a shame because that makes it really easy :/

The more friends you have(male or female), the more people you have mutual friends with. So maybe try to make more friends (guys or girls) then you will meet more girls from there.

Reply 5

Jebedee

17

Original post by Riberye

How does one be proactive then? The only chance I get to meet new people is at college and its kinda hard when they're either in a massive group or I have my mates in the background. I'm not trying to be smart or anything but I would generally like some advice. I have rarely ever just introduced myself to random people with no affiliation.

Tried online dated but tbh I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life then try that rubbish again.

And I have had some pretty bad luck just not in the typical sense. I live in the middle of nowhere and have run into some pretty foul people and I can't go out on the piss that much which is a shame because that makes it really easy :/

I grew up in the middle of nowhere too and I had a strict rule to not date any locals because they were basically the opposite of what I would find attractive. I dated girls from other areas and then I moved away and never had this problem again. It sucks that others get to grow up somewhere nice and we don't but there's nothing you can do about the time lost, just find a way out of whatever hole you're in and find a decent city to go to, it's the only way.

I did online dating and it's pretty hit and miss but if you know what you're doing you can make it work, to be fair I have had some really nice ones from it but you can't beat the old fashioned cold approach. If you're out with friends try to catch someone's eye and approach the group. Girls are more comfortable around their friends so their shields won't be up so high. Unless you just go in straight for the girl without addressing the group, she'll probably be less likely to give a positive result in case of embarassment in front of her peers.

I recommend studying some PUA and ignore the haters. It works.

Reply 6

Riberye

OP

3

I'm working on moving to the nearest city but its a waiting game atm :frown:

As for the cold approach or just letting a mutual friend know I like her is there any advice you guys can give? Help a bro out I missed out on most this stuff when I was wasting my life away playing CoD 20 hours a day and being obese. I would approuch someone I just don't know what to say :/

I used to be pretty confident but a few rejections knocked me down a bit.

Reply 7

The_Last_Melon

3

We're in useless wars, so nobody wants to breed. No breeding = No desire to approach opposite sex.

Reply 8

im so fresh

12

try this, go talk to a few girls with the intention of being their friends first. It'll help you learn how to talk to them and approach them at the same time.
then after that go out and do your thing.
oh and don't worry about a few rejections and never take them personally.

Reply 9

Zarek

21

To be honest unless you are above average looks this is parr for the course. It's about sprucing up, playing to your strengths and more than anything tenacity and patience. You will get your oats..

Reply 10

Zechs

14

Original post by Riberye

Granted I've never approached random people sober but I don't know anyone who does tbh.

Any advice?

Perhaps this is part of your problem. I mean do you always need a bit of alcohol just to approach women? You don't sound too confident about yourself.

Reply 11

Jebedee

17

Original post by Riberye

I'm working on moving to the nearest city but its a waiting game atm :frown:

As for the cold approach or just letting a mutual friend know I like her is there any advice you guys can give? Help a bro out I missed out on most this stuff when I was wasting my life away playing CoD 20 hours a day and being obese. I would approuch someone I just don't know what to say :/

I used to be pretty confident but a few rejections knocked me down a bit.

Letting a mutual friend know you like someone may work when you're 7 years old and younger but not in the real world. Use this time where you are to work out and not be obese and learn some PUA. With enough work you'll be in a position to benefit from living in a proper place.

Reply 12

ZeroName

3

Sure master PUA but remember this article. Found it just now and if I knew this earlier... Your lucky to be getting is page, valuables exp http://www.gettheguy.co.uk/blog/men-chicken/

Reply 13

Riberye

OP

3

Original post by ZeroName

Sure master PUA but remember this article. Found it just now and if I knew this earlier... Your lucky to be getting is page, valuables exp http://www.gettheguy.co.uk/blog/men-chicken/

To be fair that is entirely true and has some good insight on both sides. I just need to get rid of this messed up complex I have towards myself. Oddly enough monday I found out a really cute girl thought I was attractive and I just sat there thinking wtf someone exists who doesn't find me revolting? It was the best feeling but I shouldn't have that mindset.

it is all just from a few harsh rejections and the fact I did used to be a right state a couple years ago haha.

Why do I have so much trouble attracting women?

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