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Struggling with girlfriend with depression.

Hey guys

So ive been with my girlrfriend for 3 months and when we met she was having a hard time, since then theres been good days and bad days, but now all we have are bad days, she sees the world and life as bad and pointless, she will pick on me for literally anything i do that slightly upsets her and drag it out for hours.

I cant get through to her and i feel powerless, shes bringing me down with her words and actions and general lack of care, no sex drive, nothing.

Im desperate not to leave her because i know that it could get better but im suffering every day.

She knows theres something wrong, weve seen a GP and she is diagnosed as severely depressed and an anxiety disorder and anger management problems as a result. She is going to the special mental health treatment place in the coming days.

I need help because this is hurting me, i feel usless and all i get is abuse, if she was well mentally id drop her and move on, but i cant help but feel this isnt her fault and if i hang on she will get better and im worried about throwing away this girl in the short term for what would be a perfectly fine long term.

Please someone give me some perspective because im loosing sight of everything now.
You're not alone in this, my own partner has mental health problems and its been a real fight to get the NHS to sort much. Its great that you're standing by her and supporting her. I empathise with how powerless you must feel because a lot of her recovery is partly down to her and partly down to the treatments available.

Is she on any medication at all? Might it be worth discussiing with her GP. Going on medication for mental health problems can be scary, many worry that it will turn them into a zombie, but it isn't the case. Medication is more like... armbands when learning to swim. They help keep you afloat, lifting you enough to be able to see beyond your distorted depressive thoughts to see the world more as it is, and helping to motivate yourself to help yourself. Medication and therapy combined has the best sucess rate. Its great that she has some help happening fairly soon.

There's not a great deal I can say to help a great deal I'm afraid, its not something thats going to change overnight. Just make sure you look after your needs too OK? You're not much help to her if you're not looking after yourself properly.
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Kabloomybuzz
You're not alone in this, my own partner has mental health problems and its been a real fight to get the NHS to sort much. Its great that you're standing by her and supporting her. I empathise with how powerless you must feel because a lot of her recovery is partly down to her and partly down to the treatments available.

Is she on any medication at all? Might it be worth discussiing with her GP. Going on medication for mental health problems can be scary, many worry that it will turn them into a zombie, but it isn't the case. Medication is more like... armbands when learning to swim. They help keep you afloat, lifting you enough to be able to see beyond your distorted depressive thoughts to see the world more as it is, and helping to motivate yourself to help yourself. Medication and therapy combined has the best sucess rate. Its great that she has some help happening fairly soon.

There's not a great deal I can say to help a great deal I'm afraid, its not something thats going to change overnight. Just make sure you look after your needs too OK? You're not much help to her if you're not looking after yourself properly.


thanks for the words, she will be given counciling and pills when we visit the mental health specialists next week hopefully (im [raying they dont turn their back or neglect her need) im just so fixed on the NHS coming through and getting her on track, shes accepted counciling, pills and everything to save our relationship, but im just worried they wont work or the NHS will let us down.
Hmm she’s getting professional help? It might improve … I know how hard this can be it can be very emotionally draining as welll .You’re not alone buddy. If u love her , it’s worth it . But don’t lose yourself in the process . Think about yourself too :smile:
Original post by TypeUnknown32451
Hmm she’s getting professional help? It might improve … I know how hard this can be it can be very emotionally draining as welll .You’re not alone buddy. If u love her , it’s worth it . But don’t lose yourself in the process . Think about yourself too :smile:

The OP was six years ago - hopefully by now she's either found some treatments that helped her, or they've broken up. Or both.
Original post by Anonymous
thanks for the words, she will be given counciling and pills when we visit the mental health specialists next week hopefully (im [raying they dont turn their back or neglect her need) im just so fixed on the NHS coming through and getting her on track, shes accepted counciling, pills and everything to save our relationship, but im just worried they wont work or the NHS will let us down.


At least she has accepted there is something wrong and is getting help
It's unreasonable to immediately assume the treatment won't work op
But at the same time there is a limit to what a person can endure
Are you two living together ? Is there a way you can get some space from her slightly without breaking up ?
Original post by WazzWazz98
At least she has accepted there is something wrong and is getting help
It's unreasonable to immediately assume the treatment won't work op
But at the same time there is a limit to what a person can endure
Are you two living together ? Is there a way you can get some space from her slightly without breaking up ?

This was 6 years ago!
Original post by Callicious
This was 6 years ago!

Oops 🙈

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