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How to beat sad cow disease?

Over a year ago (yes, it is that long, I am even more tragic than I realized) I discovered that the man I was deeply in love with had cheated on me multiple times and even had a separate girlfriend that he was dating under an assumed name. He ripped my heart out of my chest and hurt me more than I could imagine.

I did all the right things. I broke up with him, got rid of everything that reminded me of him, deleted his number, texts, voicemails. I managed to refrain from castrating him with a knife and in doing so avoided jail, which was nice. I tried to move on, I leaned on friends for support, I went out and partied, met new people, had a good time.

And yet still, a year later, when it's late at night and my friends are all asleep I sit and cry my eyes out over a man that is nothing more than a scumbag. Logically I know this; I know he is not a very nice human being, is very destructive and is really not worth my tears. But I love him. I am still deeply in love with him and I never really stopped. But I will never allow myself to go back with him after what he did to me and I am so angry that MY life is being ruined. I can't form relationships with other people because I'm still in love with him. No-one else compares. But he is the one in the wrong. It feels like I am still being punished for something that was never my doing in the first place.


How do you stop loving someone? I'd give anything to hate him. Any advice appreciated x
(edited 9 years ago)
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Avatar for La_Chiquita
La_Chiquita
OP
2
Has no-one got any useful advice :-(
I can say one thing only
Make yourself busy in certain activities.
After a year, I feel you should be making more progress than this.

A break up HAS NOT ruined your life. If you can have people divorcing at 60 and finding love again, I'm sure you can, too.

It might help to see your GP, as this event may have triggered depression. You may not need ADs, but some form of counselling could be helpful.

Your life IS NOT over. It is NEVER, EVER too late to start again.

Surround yourself with people who love you, throw yourself into things you like to do (even if you don't feel like it, fake it til you make it, as they say) and don't be afraid to ask for help.

This will get better, and you will learn to live again. Forget about people who aren't worth your time.

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