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How to make someone fall back in love with you?

Long story short, my boyfriend recently told me that he doesn't want to be with me anymore. This was following some things he did, leading to me reacting badly and wanting a break - he says my reaction made him think that this was so stupid and he got over it. He says he's happy.
Before all this we were madly in love, spent every moment together, always talked if we weren't together. He'd tell me how much he loved me all the time and that he wanted to spend his life with me, we planned our future together. We'd been together for 2 years but friends before.
I'm sure he is the one for me. I rarely find people I can be comfortable around and click with, and he was literally like family to me.
We are currently not talking following him saying he's over this and isn't interested. How do I fix this?

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You're thinking Stay (With Me), Please Don't Go, Without You, he's thinking Payphone, Somebody That I Used To Know, Don't Hold Your Breath and We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.
Sounds to me like you two spent too much time together. When you're in a relationship you need room to be yourself a part from the person that you're with. I think he got to spend some time doing his own thing and found he was happier by himself. Maybe you could talk to him, tell him if you got back together you would give him space, and you would take your own space. Honestly though, if he's happy and over it I don't think you're going to be able to get him back.
Reply 3
Original post by shawn_o1
You're thinking Stay (With Me), Please Don't Go, Without You, he's thinking Payphone, Somebody That I Used To Know, Don't Hold Your Breath and We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.


Good analysis, but really not helpful.
Reply 4
I should add that post break up but prior to this he'd wanted to get back together, but I was really hurt from the things he'd done (broken my trust). It's not as if we just broke up and he was happy.
Reply 5
Original post by flatmatetrouble
Sounds to me like you two spent too much time together. When you're in a relationship you need room to be yourself a part from the person that you're with. I think he got to spend some time doing his own thing and found he was happier by himself. Maybe you could talk to him, tell him if you got back together you would give him space, and you would take your own space. Honestly though, if he's happy and over it I don't think you're going to be able to get him back.


I know that's how some people do things, but we really didn't want time apart. He was actually the clingy one, he'd want to spend even more time together and get angry if I contemplated doing something else. He didn't really want me to talk to anyone else and didn't socialise much himself either. I don't know, he went from I love you let's fix this to I'm happy and over it in like a day so I don't know if he really means it.
Reply 6
Bump?
I got a rep :tongue:
Maybe all will go well if you both... er... kiss and make up
Reply 8
Original post by shawn_o1
I got a rep :tongue:
Maybe all will go well if you both... er... kiss and make up

:clap2::clap2::clap2::party2::party2::party::party::yay::yay:
Original post by Anonymous
Long story short, my boyfriend recently told me that he doesn't want to be with me anymore. This was following some things he did, leading to me reacting badly and wanting a break - he says my reaction made him think that this was so stupid and he got over it. He says he's happy.
Before all this we were madly in love, spent every moment together, always talked if we weren't together. He'd tell me how much he loved me all the time and that he wanted to spend his life with me, we planned our future together. We'd been together for 2 years but friends before.
I'm sure he is the one for me. I rarely find people I can be comfortable around and click with, and he was literally like family to me.
We are currently not talking following him saying he's over this and isn't interested. How do I fix this?


That's most likely where the problem is. You spend too much time together. Let yourselves breathe, spend some time with your other friends.

It's like, even though you love your parents (I'm assuming :wink:), you'll get pretty agitated seeing them every day.
You can't. You can't make someone fall in love with you. There's no potion or secret formula. Sorry.
Rejection is hard but you will get over it. As the song says 'Hanging on in quiet desperation' is the thing that will drag you down.

Find yourself before you were together - you had a life too you know.

Become independent, move on and develop new friends and interests.

Just don't live in hope that he will come back. You can waste years of your life doing that.

If he really has fallen out of love, it's pretty certain it won't come back. soz.
By saying he broke your trust, do you mean that he cheated on you?
Reply 13
My experience is, you can't. When it's gone, however difficult that is to fathom, it's gone. The only hope, albeit very slim, is that with a bit of time and distance he has a rethink.
Original post by h3isenberg
That's most likely where the problem is. You spend too much time together. Let yourselves breathe, spend some time with your other friends.

It's like, even though you love your parents (I'm assuming :wink:), you'll get pretty agitated seeing them every day.


But how do I actually fix it to then do that?
I'd like to see them every day actually! Not spend every moment with them, but certainly see them.
Reply 15
Just leave him be. Let him miss you. If he comes back grovelling, all well and good but if he doesn't you'll have to move on I'm afraid. Unfortunately there's no way to make anybody feel anything, it's down to themselves. Your best chance at getting him back is to just cut all contact until he gets in touch, and then keep it cool for a while. He's not going to fall back in love if you're constantly texting and calling him and begging for him to take you back, in fact any contact with him right now will probably do more harm than good. He needs his space. Give him it, and hopefully he will eventually come to his senses. If he doesn't, it wasn't to be.
Original post by uberteknik
Rejection is hard but you will get over it. As the song says 'Hanging on in quiet desperation' is the thing that will drag you down.

Find yourself before you were together - you had a life too you know.

Become independent, move on and develop new friends and interests.

Just don't live in hope that he will come back. You can waste years of your life doing that.

If he really has fallen out of love, it's pretty certain it won't come back. soz.


I really don't think I will. It's been a while now.
I didn't have that much of a life, having him pretty much gave me a life that we built together.
I've tried but right now friends is just not going to happen at this stage and I really am not interested in anything.
I know, but I can't give up.
I don't know if he really has or if he's just busy with work and angry with me :frown:
Reply 17
Original post by Anonymous
I really don't think I will. It's been a while now.
I didn't have that much of a life, having him pretty much gave me a life that we built together.
I've tried but right now friends is just not going to happen at this stage and I really am not interested in anything.
I know, but I can't give up.
I don't know if he really has or if he's just busy with work and angry with me :frown:


Don't let him know how much it's affecting you. If he thinks you're happy and managing fine without him, especially if there's an air of mystery because you're not speaking to him, it'll drive him mad.

Moping, crying, and being a loner thinking that your life 'depends' on him is just simply plain old unattractive and a massive turn off. You need him to remember what he liked about you originally, why he was attracted to you - and acting like your life is ending and you're desperate and depressed isn't that, I can assure you. Be independent, strong and go out and do things, spend time with your family, make new friends, find a hobby - just don't concentrate on him and this break up. Trust me, if he cares for you it will work. It happened to me with my last ex, although unfortunately for him I'd decided he was a ****bag anyway and started seeing someone else when he started asking me to go back out with him and that he'd made a mistake breaking up with me.

Making him feel like you've lost a massive part of your world and that you're nothing without him will do nothing but either annoy him or give him an ego boost, make him realise that it's actually his loss and you're more likely to get him wondering why he left you.
Original post by jhumfy
Just leave him be. Let him miss you. If he comes back grovelling, all well and good but if he doesn't you'll have to move on I'm afraid. Unfortunately there's no way to make anybody feel anything, it's down to themselves. Your best chance at getting him back is to just cut all contact until he gets in touch, and then keep it cool for a while. He's not going to fall back in love if you're constantly texting and calling him and begging for him to take you back, in fact any contact with him right now will probably do more harm than good. He needs his space. Give him it, and hopefully he will eventually come to his senses. If he doesn't, it wasn't to be.


I don't think he will. It's been a while and he pretty much said he's happier without me and focussing on his work.
Original post by Zarek
My experience is, you can't. When it's gone, however difficult that is to fathom, it's gone. The only hope, albeit very slim, is that with a bit of time and distance he has a rethink.


How much time and distance were you thinking?

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