The Student Room Group

this crush is driving me insane

Okay, so,
There's this boy in one of my classes and I have this huge crush on him. He's just so, ugh, amazing. But the thing is I've never really spoken to him?? I only saw him for the first time in september so,
I've never gotten the opportunity to talk to him, I remember one time I was going to try to start a conversation at the bus stop but then he met up with this girl and they went home together :\
I think she might be his girlfriend but I'm not sure??? I moped for ages when it happened, especially because I've seen them around the school a few times, together.
He's only in one of my classes so I don't see him that often :frown:
I don't know what to do, how do I approach him? He's always late to lessons so I can't talk to him in the corridor, plus he doesn't sit near me in the class.
I can never concentrate in the lesson because I'm looking at him, which is awful and weird I know.
Boy troubles will be the death of me
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
Okay, so,
There's this boy in one of my classes and I have this huge crush on him. He's just so, ugh, amazing. But the thing is I've never really spoken to him?? I only saw him for the first time in september so,
I've never gotten the opportunity to talk to him, I remember one time I was going to try to start a conversation at the bus stop but then he met up with this girl and they went home together :\
I think she might be his girlfriend but I'm not sure??? I moped for ages when it happened, especially because I've seen them around the school a few times, together.
He's only in one of my classes so I don't see him that often :frown:
I don't know what to do, how do I approach him? He's always late to lessons so I can't talk to him in the corridor, plus he doesn't sit near me in the class.
I can never concentrate in the lesson because I'm looking at him, which is awful and weird I know.
Boy troubles will be the death of me


You seem to be going though exactly what I am except I'm a guy and I feel equivalently the same way about this girl I like although I just want to get to know her as a friend because I'm too busy for relationships anyway. Perhaps you should say hello to him, introduce yourself and ask about what subjects he studies or something like that.

Try not to foil an opportunity, but if you do don't worry and just wait for the next one. Don't concern yourself too much with whether they're single/taken and just get to know him as a friend. I bump into this girl coincidentally (practically at random).

As a guy myself, there was a girl who I'd never spoken to who really liked me (I don't mean to be arrogant but I did get a lot of flattering attention from this particular group); her friends however egged her on to ask me out and she called it off in the end. I feel I came across badly as I hardly answered her calls or texted to her because I was busy studying for my subjects. But deep down I know that if I really liked her I would have made a far better effort.

You just have to take one simple factor into account and that is building a friendship with the person first or otherwise the chemistry won't really work. That works for everyone regardless of how attractive they are (unless they are so beyond bad looking).
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 2
Original post by Hey111
You seem to be going though exactly what I am except I'm a guy and I feel equivalently the same way about this girl I like although I just want to get to know her as a friend because I'm too busy for relationships anyway. Perhaps you should say hello to him, introduce yourself and ask about what subjects he studies or something like that.

Try not to foil an opportunity, but if you do don't worry and just wait for the next one. Don't concern yourself too much with whether they're single/taken and just get to know him as a friend. I bump into this girl coincidentally (practically at random).

As a guy myself, there was a girl who I'd never spoken to who really liked me (I don't mean to be arrogant but I did get a lot of flattering attention from this particular group); her friends however egged her on to ask me out and she called it off in the end. I feel I came across badly as I hardly answered her calls or texted to her because I was busy studying for my subjects. But deep down I know that if I really liked her I would have made a far better effort.

You just have to take one simple factor into account and that is building a friendship with the person first or otherwise the chemistry won't really work. That works for everyone regardless of how attractive they are (unless they are so beyond bad looking).

Regardless of how attractive they are? I'm not that attractive so I hope your advice works.
Still haven't gotten a chance to talk to him, he's always with someone else :frown:
He's been with this other girl (a completely new girl than the one i mentioned) a lot lately, always talking and laughing with her and she's really pretty and confident so I think I've lost my chance... I saw them going somewhere together on the bus. I'm a little gutted.
But thanks for replying!
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
Regardless of how attractive they are? I'm not that attractive so I hope your advice works.
Still haven't gotten a chance to talk to him, he's always with someone else :frown:
He's been with this other girl (a completely new girl than the one i mentioned) a lot lately, always talking and laughing with her and she's really pretty and confident so I think I've lost my chance... I saw them going somewhere together on the bus. I'm a little gutted.
But thanks for replying!


You need to envision two prime realisations here, the first is that this guy you're fantasising about is just a human and the second being that in the UK friendships don't happen at first sight unless there's a context or connection, if you do not let coincidences/occurrences take control then people will look on you as a stranger. I don't; I welcome nice attention but most people do not. That girl I mentioned that I really liked was in one of my classes briefly, but she dropped out like quite a few people. I still bump into her, I smile or say hello and she has smiled back warmly but if it was anything more than that we could be good friends. There are all kinds of reasons and the biggest factors being shyness or reservedness.

I learnt this when I was on a public bus last Monday, said hello to a girl and her boyfriend I recognised and they were startled in severe discomfort. The fact I'm 17 and look over 20 doesn't help but if I had said hello in a much more leading context such as making a comment about a subject, then I would not get weird looks.

You have yet to discover what this guy is even like as a person (which you probably don't because if he really is an 'amazing' person then he'll regard you politely). You will be stunned at how much more attractive a person is from good personality than a person who glimmers like a jewel. It's better to have an attractive guy with good personality than a very attractive guy with rubbish personality. Personality stays with us and looks don't, regardless of how psychically attractive I may or may not be, eventually I will just be a wrinkled old man with the personality I grew up with.

My BIGGEST ADVICE if you want to get to know this guy properly is that you get to know one of his friends, that will then be your gateway into being able to talk to him as they'll probably be sitting at the same table during lunch, you can then approach his friend(s) to say hello and you'll instantly know new people. Only talk to his friends if a scenario comes about. If you're waiting at the bus stop or find a way to invent a question/method of talking to either him or them be sure to then exchange names and continue the conversation if it continues.

The best outlook to have is to keep your doors open. Don't focus entirely on one guy and that way you'll never find yourself in desire and doubt.
:biggrin: You've never even spoken to him FFS :biggrin:
Original post by Anonymous
Okay, so,
There's this boy in one of my classes and I have this huge crush on him. He's just so, ugh, amazing. But the thing is I've never really spoken to him?? I only saw him for the first time in september so,
I've never gotten the opportunity to talk to him, I remember one time I was going to try to start a conversation at the bus stop but then he met up with this girl and they went home together :\
I think she might be his girlfriend but I'm not sure??? I moped for ages when it happened, especially because I've seen them around the school a few times, together.
He's only in one of my classes so I don't see him that often :frown:
I don't know what to do, how do I approach him? He's always late to lessons so I can't talk to him in the corridor, plus he doesn't sit near me in the class.
I can never concentrate in the lesson because I'm looking at him, which is awful and weird I know.
Boy troubles will be the death of me


Omgosh we are in the same situation, well not exact but I am also going crazy over a "crush" which probably don't even know my name. I first saw him in mid August and I don't even know where was it now as the moment when I looked into his eyes was so breathtaking hahah. I seriously forgot every details except his face. Anyway, since he is a junior, we have zero classes together and zero mutual friends. He hangs with different kind of people as we have different high school background so this just make things worse. We are both shy people (or mayb he is not interested idk) and there are a few times where we stared at each other without smiling when we walked pass each other it's so freaking awkward. I absolutely don't know how to approach him, all I want right now is just to be his friend but I don't even know where and how to start.

Glad to know I'm not the only one going crazy over a guy that I have not even talked to hahahah. I wish i can help you but i am in the same deep mess so...How old are you btw?
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
Omgosh we are in the same situation, well not exact but I am also going crazy over a "crush" which probably don't even know my name. I first saw him in mid August and I don't even know where was it now as the moment when I looked into his eyes was so breathtaking hahah. I seriously forgot every details except his face. Anyway, since he is a junior, we have zero classes together and zero mutual friends. He hangs with different kind of people as we have different high school background so this just make things worse. We are both shy people (or mayb he is not interested idk) and there are a few times where we stared at each other without smiling when we walked pass each other it's so freaking awkward. I absolutely don't know how to approach him, all I want right now is just to be his friend but I don't even know where and how to start.

Glad to know I'm not the only one going crazy over a guy that I have not even talked to hahahah. I wish i can help you but i am in the same deep mess so...How old are you btw?

I'm glad someone shares my pain. I'm 16, how old are you?

I kind of know vaguely what he's like, it's not all about his appearance. He's the type of guy that talks a lot and obviously I'm listening to what everyone is saying because I never talk in class (I don't really have any friends). I know he's really nerdy and stuff and he likes some of the same things as me (:

I feel the same, I really want to be his friend, he has such a great sense of humour...
Good luck with your crush!
Original post by Anonymous
I'm glad someone shares my pain. I'm 16, how old are you?

I kind of know vaguely what he's like, it's not all about his appearance. He's the type of guy that talks a lot and obviously I'm listening to what everyone is saying because I never talk in class (I don't really have any friends). I know he's really nerdy and stuff and he likes some of the same things as me (:

I feel the same, I really want to be his friend, he has such a great sense of humour...
Good luck with your crush!


I am already 19 :frown:
Yeah I kinda stalked him on twitter and I think I know way more than a stranger should know. With other crushes, my "feelings" always died out after I went through their profiles but this one only intensifies geez.

Are you going to approach him after all?

Good luck to you too!
There's a very fine line between 'admire' and 'have feelings for', just make sure you know which one you're at :smile:. Cause some guys are amazing in general, but if he's amazing for you is another question. In vice verse, there are guys who are amazing for you, like a missing puzzle piece. My advice is to just know where you're at with this guy now :smile: I wish you luck!
Shy, pathetic teen troubles are pathetic. And if he's always late to lessons, he will also be late to dates and generally an awful boyfriend.
Reply 10
Original post by TitanicTeutonicPhil
Shy, pathetic teen troubles are pathetic. And if he's always late to lessons, he will also be late to dates and generally an awful boyfriend.


If a guy gives enough of a damn, he'll put in the effort.

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