Can't really do that because I still have to see other people regularly. But I did try to look less attractive, e.g. clothes - wise, even faking a serious illness, it just didn't help at all, not sure if it's about my looks but starting to doubt that.

Original post by nohomo

What's he actually done?

Don't want to go into detail but stalking, possessiveness, controlling, trying to isolate me from everyone - it's all daily stuff that seems natural for that creep. And it's always me, me, me as if others don't exist, it scares me at times.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by OU Student

Stop reacting to them. They should get the hint.

Original post by Gax

How exactly would angering the person make everything worse?

It's an unpredictable kind of person and I'm scared to just break things off. So I'd rather be 'dumped'.

Reply 9

Golland19

Pretend your in a relationship, worked for me when I had a weird admirer haha

Reply 10

lNurl

And here I am thinking will anyone ever be interested in me at all?! Ohh well...

But I guess you can maybe report it?

Reply 11

Kittiara

Original post by Anonymous

It's an unpredictable kind of person and I'm scared to just break things off. So I'd rather be 'dumped'.

So you're in a relationship with this person? If you're living with them, go to your family, or friends, and give them a call that it's over. I would normally recommend doing that face to face, but in this case, you need to be somewhere safe. Then stay there, and when it's time to get your belongings, take people with you.

If you don't live with them, still break up with them from a distance, alert people around you about what you're doing and your concerns, and make sure the person well and truly knows it's over.

If they keep stalking you, warn them you're going to contact the police, and don't respond any further. If they still don't stop, actually contact the police. And stay safe.

Reply 12

TheElvenQueen

Original post by Anonymous

I don't want to make this person angry because it's going to make everything worse. So just how to make that person sick of me?

Details? Is it she/he your relationship with them (friend GF/BF) etc) do you go to work/uni/school together (see each other on a regular basis)
Perhaps you are worried they will be angry because you are the one doing the wrong thing? Maybe your not giving them the attention they would like in the relationship...
If I were you I'd be honest that to this person and tell them they are annoying you (face to face I suggest I can imagine texting makes people pissed off when it comes to relationship issues)
Otherwise they will get more and more angry probs don't know on what sort of level their anger is (are they verbally / physically abusive?)
You have to face up to the anger or it will become even worse the longer you let it build.
After this the person will probably leave you by their own accord not wanting to be with someone who doesn't like them. Btw what did this person or you do to that person in the first place to make them so mad?

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 13

Inazuma

Flirt with everyone else in front of them, kiss a few people.
Then if they get mad point out they don't own you publicly.
Always works like a charm guaranteed.

Reply 14

Kaiju

ignore last poster, you literally said in the original post you didn't want them to get angry so idk why they'd suggest that

it's difficult to help you without a clear picture of what type of person this is and what the situation is like, tbh
i doubt you're going to get any worthwhile advice from a bunch of people on the TSR forums who've potentially never dealt with something like this - i'd suggest talking to someone you know specifically and explaining it to them to see if they have any ideas

from the vibe i'm getting i don't think it's to do with your looks; it's probably not even to do with your personality either, besides clearly being comparatively passive/submissive
my guess is that it's a power thing
likely the only way to break out of the cycle is by asserting a more dominant role and genuinely meaning it
they decide to talk **** about you to people? tell the people they're talking rubbish to how bat****-crazy they are.
This is presuming they haven't been violent; though - I understand if they're violent that this won't help.

either way, you're probably not going to get anything worthwhile from TSR.

Reply 15

SEHughes

Tell them in no uncertain terms that you will open a harassment case with the police, and that you are not to be contacted by them again.

Reply 16

Tiger Rag

Original post by lNurl

And here I am thinking will anyone ever be interested in me at all?! Ohh well...

But I guess you can maybe report it?

From experience, the police are rather useless with this kind of thing.

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

Original post by Golland19

Pretend your in a relationship, worked for me when I had a weird admirer haha

That would probably result in fury in this case.

Original post by lNurl

And here I am thinking will anyone ever be interested in me at all?! Ohh well...

But I guess you can maybe report it?

I don't think it's serious enough to involve the police. But thanks for suggestion.

Original post by Kittiara

I guess you could call it a relationship. But it's mostly one sided now... I don't live with them, fortunately. But I'm really paranoid to just break up, not sure how they'd react, wish they'd break up with me instead.

Original post by TheElvenQueen

I haven't done anything wrong, I just want to have a life (which doesn't mean I go out all the time, or date people, but it's like I'm not even allowed to have a friend anymore). I don't know how to explain it, but it's the partnership we've had has developed into some sort of weird obsession? And it really puts me off, scares me even.

Original post by Inazuma

Flirt with everyone else in front of them, kiss a few people.
Then if they get mad point out they don't own you publicly.
Always works like a charm guaranteed.

I honestly wouldn't dare...

Original post by Kaiju

I know, more details would be more helpful but I'm too paranoid that they're going to find out so I left out all the details. And yes, I think most people just take them for a jealous person but nothing more than that, when it really is much more than that. They were on their own for a very, very long time, not even keeping in touch with family (it was their choice) so maybe that's why they act wild like that now - like you said, perhaps they feel like they need to have control/power over someone to keep them? Not sure.
No violence, ever. But they can be very oppressive (psychologically). And thank you for advice, I might try talking to someone in real life, just don't know who to, family would get too freaked out.

Original post by SEHughes

Tell them in no uncertain terms that you will open a harassment case with the police, and that you are not to be contacted by them again.

That's likely to get them angry. And I don't think police would believe me. But if things get bad I will keep that in mind, thanks.

Original post by OU Student

From experience, the police are rather useless with this kind of thing.

Reply 18

Tiger Rag

In my case, the police decided I'd brought it on myself, (my crime was not saying no sooner) and because he has a learning disability, his behaviour is ok. Therefore, they won't do anything about it and I've got to deal with it myself.

He finally left me alone after 5 months.