I'm struggling to make friends at uni

I forgot how socially awkward I am; to cut a long story short, I was a drunken mess through the whole of freshers week so now I'm pretty sure all my housemates think I'm an irritating weirdo. I chat regularly with one of them and a little bit with another but I honestly just feel like they don't want to be talking to me, that I'm either weird or just a bit awkward to be around.

As for classes, it's a similar story minus the memories of the drunkeness which none of them no about as I didn't meet them until classes started. I've met a couple of girls who seem nice but generally I get the "Wow this girl is weird; please stop talking" vibe from them too. Just what am I doing wrong here? As far as I know I'm not talking about anything particularly odd, unless I just have a weird as hell face which I don't know... So where am I going wrong here? Am I just doomed to be a weirdo?

Reply 1

lNurl

What about you chat that you get "weirdo" vibe?

Reply 2

Democracy

Original post by EllieC130

Please don't take this the wrong way, but honestly I think you are over-thinking this a bit. I posted in your other thread a while back - nothing you did was beyond the pale or inappropriate for a student (let alone a fresher!).

I'm sure your flatmates etc aren't getting a weirdo vibe off you. However, if whenever you talk to them you're feeling self-conscious and nervous, they might pick up on that and misinterpret that as you not being very keen on talking to them (which obviously isn't the case).

It's much easier to talk to people if you're relaxed. Try to act naturally and be yourself - if you're naturally a bit of an anxious person you might have a tendency to dwell on the past and embarrassing incidents...but really, no one else is thinking about them at all. In all likelihood your flatmates probably haven't given a second thought to your drunken antics, whereas you've spent the past few weeks feeling tense about them. Try and let it go, it's really not a big deal at all :smile:

Reply 3

ThePoster

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time. Sometimes you just don't 'click' with people, but you have to keep looking. I still haven't really met anyone that I can really relate to, but I have to hope it'll happen eventually. Think it's important to be positive.

Reply 4

CherryCherryBoomBoom

I've also been struggling to fit in at my new college and student halls. I've only really been hanging out with my boyfriend and his friends. I've not even managed to go out with anyone from my college. I did once have a guy in my halls ask me to go to the pub with him and some friends, but I turned him down cos I already had plans with my boyfriend that evening. Now I kinda regret that, as it could have been a great way to start socialising with people here, and he's not asked me again since - he probably now thinks my life just revolves around my boyfriend :facepalm:

.

I dunno, you do seem like a nice person, just a bit socially awkward and weird like me :smile:

. I guess all you can really do is keep talking to people, keep trying to socialise and hopefully you'll grow closer to some and make proper friends :smile:

Reply 5

The_Last_Melon

You'll be fine because you actually identify it as a problem. I went into "I hate people leave me alone mode" and activity sought isolation - that's when you start to get psychotic mental breakdowns.

Don't worry just keep trying. It's like in chess you have to continue to apply pressure and eventually the enemy will make a mistake. Keep applying the pressure of friendship and eventually someone will make the mistake of befriending you.

Oh and btw the "pressure of friendship" is communication. Can be cruel or kind depending on the psyche of the people involved. Generally it's better to be kind though - except some people take advantage - so stay away from those types unless you're ****ed up too.

Most of this post was garbage but I felt like posting it anyway. Can't get neg rep these days so why not.

Reply 6

cole-slaw

Original post by EllieC130

There is no actual evidence that people dislike you/think you're weird. In fact, they seem to chat to you quite openly and happily.

May I suggest that perhaps you're just being slightly paranoid, and the best course of action would be to simply assume that people do, in fact, like you, and continue to socialise with them on that basis.

There is nothing wrong with getting drunk, it is entirely expected of a student.