Depression and studying. Advice needed!
I've done my degree and I'm now on a PGCE course.
I've been feeling low/depressed for months now and I think it's down to losing my dad. My dad raised me and I know I made him proud getting to uni. He died in my 1st year of uni (I've just started my 4th).. I went back to uni after his death and never had any time out. I was really proud of myself to get my degree knowing how difficult it was to keep strong in a difficult time. My dad committed suicide and it was very sudden and unexpected.
I feel like I've lost a lot of confidence since losing him and I've not been truly happy since. This is effecting me know because I have very low-self esteem.. I feel like I'm not good enough to be a teacher. I'm very quiet and closed up. I just want to drop out of my course but I don't know if I'm giving up too soon. I just don't feel ready to do this PGCE anymore. I don't feel confident enough and I think I'd benefit from gaining more work experience and doing my PGCE in a few years time when I'm ready and I feel happier. I'm only 21 and I have a 2:1 degree so it's not like I've not achieved anything, I can get a job.
I've been feeling low/depressed for months now and I think it's down to losing my dad. My dad raised me and I know I made him proud getting to uni. He died in my 1st year of uni (I've just started my 4th).. I went back to uni after his death and never had any time out. I was really proud of myself to get my degree knowing how difficult it was to keep strong in a difficult time. My dad committed suicide and it was very sudden and unexpected.
I feel like I've lost a lot of confidence since losing him and I've not been truly happy since. This is effecting me know because I have very low-self esteem.. I feel like I'm not good enough to be a teacher. I'm very quiet and closed up. I just want to drop out of my course but I don't know if I'm giving up too soon. I just don't feel ready to do this PGCE anymore. I don't feel confident enough and I think I'd benefit from gaining more work experience and doing my PGCE in a few years time when I'm ready and I feel happier. I'm only 21 and I have a 2:1 degree so it's not like I've not achieved anything, I can get a job.
I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I can't imagine how much it hurt to lose him. 
Have you tried speaking to someone about your low feeling/depression? Your university probably has a counseling service you could try. There's also your GP who might be able to refer you for talk therapy. Or Samaritans/Nightline if you wanted to be more anonymous and just want someone to talk to. There are such a thing as grief counselors as well, my brother found talking to one of them extremely helpful after someone close to us died.
I dunno if this will be helpful but I would try to at least try talking to one of these people before dropping out.
Have you tried speaking to someone about your low feeling/depression? Your university probably has a counseling service you could try. There's also your GP who might be able to refer you for talk therapy. Or Samaritans/Nightline if you wanted to be more anonymous and just want someone to talk to. There are such a thing as grief counselors as well, my brother found talking to one of them extremely helpful after someone close to us died.
I dunno if this will be helpful but I would try to at least try talking to one of these people before dropping out.
Original post by Sabertooth
I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I can't imagine how much it hurt to lose him.
Have you tried speaking to someone about your low feeling/depression? Your university probably has a counseling service you could try. There's also your GP who might be able to refer you for talk therapy. Or Samaritans/Nightline if you wanted to be more anonymous and just want someone to talk to. There are such a thing as grief counselors as well, my brother found talking to one of them extremely helpful after someone close to us died.
I dunno if this will be helpful but I would try to at least try talking to one of these people before dropping out.
Have you tried speaking to someone about your low feeling/depression? Your university probably has a counseling service you could try. There's also your GP who might be able to refer you for talk therapy. Or Samaritans/Nightline if you wanted to be more anonymous and just want someone to talk to. There are such a thing as grief counselors as well, my brother found talking to one of them extremely helpful after someone close to us died.
I dunno if this will be helpful but I would try to at least try talking to one of these people before dropping out.
I spoke to my mum and she says I should speak to a doctor and maybe consider medication. I had counselling throughout my degree and although it was helpful talking to someone. I still held back to say I felt depressed and I don't think it helped me. I am having a meeting with my course tutor soon, but I know I don't want to do this course right now.. It's like I've been strong for too long and it's hard to just carry on and persevere when I feel like I do..
thanks for the reply
Original post by Anonymous
I spoke to my mum and she says I should speak to a doctor and maybe consider medication. I had counselling throughout my degree and although it was helpful talking to someone. I still held back to say I felt depressed and I don't think it helped me. I am having a meeting with my course tutor soon, but I know I don't want to do this course right now.. It's like I've been strong for too long and it's hard to just carry on and persevere when I feel like I do..
thanks for the reply
thanks for the reply
I did wonder whether to mention medication but (despite the DSM) I'm not sure how much it would help depression caused by grief. However, if this has been going on all through your undergrad degree it might be a good idea to try.
I hope you get what you want from your course tutor meeting. If you're really not feeling the course then perhaps dropping out is the best course of action. I would say though to make sure you have something to fill your time if you do take that route. Sitting on your ass at home with nothing to do can really worsen depression. You mentioned getting a job, that could be good provided it's not too stressful.
Good luck man.
Original post by Sabertooth
I did wonder whether to mention medication but (despite the DSM) I'm not sure how much it would help depression caused by grief. However, if this has been going on all through your undergrad degree it might be a good idea to try.
I hope you get what you want from your course tutor meeting. If you're really not feeling the course then perhaps dropping out is the best course of action. I would say though to make sure you have something to fill your time if you do take that route. Sitting on your ass at home with nothing to do can really worsen depression. You mentioned getting a job, that could be good provided it's not too stressful.
Good luck man.
I hope you get what you want from your course tutor meeting. If you're really not feeling the course then perhaps dropping out is the best course of action. I would say though to make sure you have something to fill your time if you do take that route. Sitting on your ass at home with nothing to do can really worsen depression. You mentioned getting a job, that could be good provided it's not too stressful.
Good luck man.
Thanks. I really don't know what to do cos I feel like I might regret giving up so soon, but then the stress of the course won't help my mood and motivation. I'm thinking maybe dropping out and then getting an Xmas temp job for now and maybe get more experience by getting a job as a TA. I just really don't feel confident teaching and the fact that I'm being observed is a scary thought as I know negative feedback might knock me back. Working as a TA would be good as I'd gain confidence and I wouldn't have work to do after school.. Like the planning etc, and it would prepare me more for doing a PGCE at a later time.
It is a shame to drop out now but I don't feel up for doing it right now. Maybe having some time out from education... One of the reasons why I wanted to do the course so badly was because I was reliant on student finance and accomodation because when my dad died I lost my permanent home. But I feel like I have to face this issue at some point and I'll still be in that position when I finish the course. So doing it for the money is a bad idea.
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks. I really don't know what to do cos I feel like I might regret giving up so soon, but then the stress of the course won't help my mood and motivation. I'm thinking maybe dropping out and then getting an Xmas temp job for now and maybe get more experience by getting a job as a TA. I just really don't feel confident teaching and the fact that I'm being observed is a scary thought as I know negative feedback might knock me back. Working as a TA would be good as I'd gain confidence and I wouldn't have work to do after school.. Like the planning etc, and it would prepare me more for doing a PGCE at a later time.
It is a shame to drop out now but I don't feel up for doing it right now. Maybe having some time out from education... One of the reasons why I wanted to do the course so badly was because I was reliant on student finance and accomodation because when my dad died I lost my permanent home. But I feel like I have to face this issue at some point and I'll still be in that position when I finish the course. So doing it for the money is a bad idea.
It is a shame to drop out now but I don't feel up for doing it right now. Maybe having some time out from education... One of the reasons why I wanted to do the course so badly was because I was reliant on student finance and accomodation because when my dad died I lost my permanent home. But I feel like I have to face this issue at some point and I'll still be in that position when I finish the course. So doing it for the money is a bad idea.
Getting a job as a TA sounds like it might be helpful for you. I don't know how TAs work in the UK but here in the US they seem to be grad students so I'd find out (maybe from your course tutor?) how easy it is to get that job before you make decisions based on it. I'd also recommend looking at how easily you could get a Christmas temp job - there are a lot of unemployed people around so even though you have qualifications you might find it difficult. You don't want to drop out and be unable to support yourself (you mentioned student finance). I don't know if this will be a problem but you'd need to consider how easily you could get back on a PGCE course in the future if you do drop out - I don't know how favorably a university would look at that. I don't know much about these things, so if my input is wrong I apologize.
My mum tried to kill herself a few times (thank god she didn't die) and I got majorly depressed last year. I'm in A2 so I'm a bit younger and Uni is much harder so I don't know if my advice will be helpful. I think everyone has a coping mechanism, some are good, some are bad. Mine were food, alcohol and tobacco. Yours is feeling depressed (understandably) although you're clearly a strong character having persevered with your degree. You could drop out or you could seek professional help. You may regret dropping out, I'm not saying your depression will go away but you may feel like you can cope better in the future. I no longer smoke, I don't need alcohol to get through the day and I am developing a normal relationship with food. You need to do what you feel is best for you
Original post by Sabertooth
Getting a job as a TA sounds like it might be helpful for you. I don't know how TAs work in the UK but here in the US they seem to be grad students so I'd find out (maybe from your course tutor?) how easy it is to get that job before you make decisions based on it. I'd also recommend looking at how easily you could get a Christmas temp job - there are a lot of unemployed people around so even though you have qualifications you might find it difficult. You don't want to drop out and be unable to support yourself (you mentioned student finance). I don't know if this will be a problem but you'd need to consider how easily you could get back on a PGCE course in the future if you do drop out - I don't know how favorably a university would look at that. I don't know much about these things, so if my input is wrong I apologize.
That's cool that you live in america! I think I have a good chance as you need a teaching assistant level 3 qualification but a degree is higher than that. One of my friends from my degree is now working as a TA and I think my degree in childhood studies is like related to the job. Plus, there are job agencies that have a lot of TA jobs - i was going to do this as a back up from not getting on a pgce.
Yeah that's true, I guess i just have to keep applying for them and see what happens. I know there will be a lot of competition but I do have a lot of work experience in retail so I might stand a chance. But you are right, cos some of my friends who've graduated have been finding it extremely difficult to get a job.
Yeah I know what you mean. There are other routes into teaching that I could try and I guess it does look bad to give up on a course. I guess I'll have to see what happens if i do apply again in the future.
Thanks for the advice
Original post by Anonymous
My mum tried to kill herself a few times (thank god she didn't die) and I got majorly depressed last year. I'm in A2 so I'm a bit younger and Uni is much harder so I don't know if my advice will be helpful. I think everyone has a coping mechanism, some are good, some are bad. Mine were food, alcohol and tobacco. Yours is feeling depressed (understandably) although you're clearly a strong character having persevered with your degree. You could drop out or you could seek professional help. You may regret dropping out, I'm not saying your depression will go away but you may feel like you can cope better in the future. I no longer smoke, I don't need alcohol to get through the day and I am developing a normal relationship with food. You need to do what you feel is best for you
Sorry to hear about your mum. I know it's a difficult thing to go through. My dad attempted a couple of times before he died and it was hard to understand as a child.
You're defo right about coping mechanism and I think I coped by getting busy like having a job etc. and depression has crept up on me cos I feel like I've really tried to stay strong for too long.
Yeah I guess I could seek professional help and take some time out. I still have my degree and that's the main thing like I could have dropped out during my degree but I didn't. I think gaining more work experience would be good for my personal growth as I'd get more confidence and believe in myself more.
it's good to hear you're no longer smoking and drinking. All the best for the future
thanks for the advice
