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Why would he tell me this?!?!?!

Anonymous #1

There's a guy I'm seeing and have been for a while. We have sex and we hang out a lot together, I think we're pretty close to becoming an ''item'', if that makes sense. I like him an awful lot.

We were talking the other day over whatsapp and he said to me ''How do I get a girl to leave me alone without hurting her feelings?'' as he said that I'm good with advice and I obviously said ''WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHY, WHEN!!!!?''.

He explained to me that this girl had been flirting with him, she's always all over him and she's tried getting with him but he wouldn't go there as his best friend has been having sex with her for a while.

So I was like excuse me but what? are you completely stupid? why are you telling my this? do you want me to not like you or ever have sex with you again?

And now I'm really confused and he thinks he's upset me and has been texting me all the time saying how much he likes me and how sorry he is because I haven't spoken to him since then (it was around 2 days ago).

I just don't understand why he told me? is he trying to make me not like him? or make me jealous? I felt like he was almost friendzoning me in a weird way :confused:

Reply 1

Kaiju

Or maybe, just maybe, he's asking you for advice so he can off the girl softly?

I mean, he got worried that he'd upset you. There's always the chance he's just trying to clear up loose ends for you.

Did you not consider that?

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 2

Sabertooth

Surely him trying to get another girl to stop pestering him should be a good thing? More chance of you "becoming an item".

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

The thing that bothered me was the reason why he wouldn't go there was only because of his friend. Not because he liked me. Just makes me think wtf?!?!

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

The thing that bothered me was the reason why he wouldn't go there was only because of his friend. Not because he liked me. Just makes me think wtf?!?!

he may not have been being honest/ not want to seem to eager

Reply 5

Kaiju

Without being there to hear it in context, it's hard to say. Maybe he was trying to play it cool by not outright saying he wanted rid of her in-part because of you - maybe hr thought it'd scare you off or something, idk.

Giving him the benefit of the doubt he could just be a lummox who worded it terribly.

Uh. Have you guys actually ever talked about being together, out of interest?
If not, I'd be slightly weary of making any presumptions about how he feels.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Maybe that was the case you guys.

I have tried to speak to him about his feelings and he says to me he really likes me and thinks i'm ''amazing'' but he's not sure on what he wants right at this moment, which is confusing for me, when in another breath he's saying that he wants to be with me.

I haven't spoken to him for 2 days apart from to say it's fine, let's forget about it because he makes me so angry in the way he just keeps on apologising when he does something that upsets me. Even when I say it's fine shall we forget about it?, he doesn't. He goes on and on and on and on and puts himself down, calls himself an idiot, say's things like ''I don't know why you'd want to be with me anyways'' and he makes me feel bad and I can't stand it, it feels like he's trying to manipulate me. I don't know if that makes me a bad person but that's how I feel, so most of the time when he upsets me I let it go without even saying anything because I can't be dealing with the constant apologies and constant self pity.

Reply 7

Kaiju

Go with your gut instinct. It could just as easily be that he's saying this stuff to try and keep you on the sidelines until he makes up his mind. If he's too much of a sausage Beta to take control of what he's doing and go for you individually, he's probably not worth your time anyway.