The Student Room Group

Finding it hard to get started with uni, making friends ect

I've just started uni now, haven't been to any lectures or anything. I'm worried I might not catch up with the work, not sure how to catch up with it in the first place.

I don't think I'll even make any friends because I missed all the freshers and introductions where everyone got to know each other. I'm really shy and have social anxiety so I find it difficult to make friends. Is there anyways of making friends at uni
Original post by Shaliina
I've just started uni now, haven't been to any lectures or anything. I'm worried I might not catch up with the work, not sure how to catch up with it in the first place.

I don't think I'll even make any friends because I missed all the freshers and introductions where everyone got to know each other. I'm really shy and have social anxiety so I find it difficult to make friends. Is there anyways of making friends at uni


Hey there :smile:

I think the first and most pressing thing is to catch up with your uni work. I wouldn't have thought there'd be any major assignments due in yet as term has only just really got underway. Speak to your academic tutor to see if they can get stuff together for you. Also have a look if you have an online resource system such as Blackboard or Moodle to see if you can read through the powerpoints and make notes.

There'll almost certainly be a reading week or half term equivalent soon, so that'll be a great opportunity to get ahead or up to speed. :biggrin:

Missing freshers isn't ideal, but that doesn't mean you won't slip in fine! The best way to make friends at uni is to talk to people. Are you in halls or living at home? If you're in halls then join them on a night out if you feel okay with that. I think the major thing you need to conquer is talking to people - once that happens it'll be cool. There are tens of thousands of people at most universities so you're bound to have lots of people with mutual interests. Have you thought about joining a society with your SU? If you find something that interests you then that'd be awesome to make friends through. More often than not people in that society will know people on your course or who will know of you - lots of links to be made! ^_^

Good luck. :smile:

Do let us know how you're getting on and if you have any questions then please quote me so I can see your reply. :smile:
Reply 2
Original post by Roving Fish
Hey there :smile:

I think the first and most pressing thing is to catch up with your uni work. I wouldn't have thought there'd be any major assignments due in yet as term has only just really got underway. Speak to your academic tutor to see if they can get stuff together for you. Also have a look if you have an online resource system such as Blackboard or Moodle to see if you can read through the powerpoints and make notes.

There'll almost certainly be a reading week or half term equivalent soon, so that'll be a great opportunity to get ahead or up to speed. :biggrin:

Missing freshers isn't ideal, but that doesn't mean you won't slip in fine! The best way to make friends at uni is to talk to people. Are you in halls or living at home? If you're in halls then join them on a night out if you feel okay with that. I think the major thing you need to conquer is talking to people - once that happens it'll be cool. There are tens of thousands of people at most universities so you're bound to have lots of people with mutual interests. Have you thought about joining a society with your SU? If you find something that interests you then that'd be awesome to make friends through. More often than not people in that society will know people on your course or who will know of you - lots of links to be made! ^_^

Good luck. :smile:

Do let us know how you're getting on and if you have any questions then please quote me so I can see your reply. :smile:


I'm just finding it'll all overwhelming, so there won't be that much catch up with you think. I'm hoping so, there is a website thing but I don't know how to use.

Do all uni have a reading week.

I don't know where to go to meet people, I'm living at home.
Original post by Shaliina
I'm just finding it'll all overwhelming, so there won't be that much catch up with you think. I'm hoping so, there is a website thing but I don't know how to use.

Do all uni have a reading week.

I don't know where to go to meet people, I'm living at home.


1) Ask your Academic Tutor for help :smile:
2) Not sure if all unis do, most do though - it'll be on your term dates page :smile:
3) In a lecture or seminar you should mention that you've just started there (they'll notice anyway) and you'd like to go to the SU or something with them? "Do you want to go to the SU later?"
Original post by Shaliina
I've just started uni now, haven't been to any lectures or anything. I'm worried I might not catch up with the work, not sure how to catch up with it in the first place.

I don't think I'll even make any friends because I missed all the freshers and introductions where everyone got to know each other. I'm really shy and have social anxiety so I find it difficult to make friends. Is there anyways of making friends at uni


You have social anxiety, so does everyone else on TSR, quite possibly everyone in the entire world.

Look, you will be fine, but you will have to make an effort and sometimes step out of your comfort zone. You will go out when you feel like staying in and go and start conversations when you feel like sitting in silence.

Join groups, make an effort, initiate outings, knock on doors, go to socials.
Reply 5
Are you a drinker?
Reply 6
Original post by cole-slaw
You have social anxiety, so does everyone else on TSR, quite possibly everyone in the entire world.

Look, you will be fine, but you will have to make an effort and sometimes step out of your comfort zone. You will go out when you feel like staying in and go and start conversations when you feel like sitting in silence.

Join groups, make an effort, initiate outings, knock on doors, go to socials.


Not everyone has social anxiety, maybe be nervous the first time. But not in the way I am, unless they do have it themselves.

I freeze up when it comes to talking to someone I don't know, I find it really difficult to come out of my comfort zone. Especially now that everyone would of met each other now because I started late.

It's a bit harder since I don't live on campus, to go to any socials ect because I have to get the bus home and they stop running at a certain time
Original post by Shaliina
Not everyone has social anxiety, maybe be nervous the first time. But not in the way I am, unless they do have it themselves.

I freeze up when it comes to talking to someone I don't know, I find it really difficult to come out of my comfort zone. Especially now that everyone would of met each other now because I started late.

It's a bit harder since I don't live on campus, to go to any socials ect because I have to get the bus home and they stop running at a certain time


There are thousands of other posts of people saying the exact same thing. Usually it is something that people manage to grow out of with practice/effort/experience/will power.

Ultimately, you need to deal with this, to find a coping mechanism, so that you can move past it. Have you tried having a few drinks to loosen yourself up before going out?
Reply 8
Original post by Roving Fish
1) Ask your Academic Tutor for help :smile:
2) Not sure if all unis do, most do though - it'll be on your term dates page :smile:
3) In a lecture or seminar you should mention that you've just started there (they'll notice anyway) and you'd like to go to the SU or something with them? "Do you want to go to the SU later?"


I have no clue who my academic tutor is, I did email some of the course tutors but they really didn't help at all. I've missed quite a few assignments one of my courses, not sure about the other course.

I guess I could try asking that
Why exactly did you miss so much?
Reply 10
Original post by Coffeetime
Why exactly did you miss so much?


I went in through clearing, to get into uni. Which is why I started so late
Firstly, does your first year count for anything? A lot of university courses don't count first year results in final degree classification, and if this is the case then don't worry TOO much about what you've missed. You'll have to pass the year, so try and do as much as possible to avoid missing that target, but don't spend hours and hours on things to get top marks if it doesn't matter. Just do your best on all assignments going forward.

Definitely get into your classes, get involved with what's going on, try to talk to people about work if you don't know what else to say.

My best friend from uni just came and sat next to me during a lecture when we were asked to discuss in groups, and I'm very glad she did now! The worst that can happen is that it turns out you don't get on with certain people and then you can move to sit elsewhere. I was still talking to new people all the time in third year, it's never too late.
Reply 12
Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox
Firstly, does your first year count for anything? A lot of university courses don't count first year results in final degree classification, and if this is the case then don't worry TOO much about what you've missed. You'll have to pass the year, so try and do as much as possible to avoid missing that target, but don't spend hours and hours on things to get top marks if it doesn't matter. Just do your best on all assignments going forward.

Definitely get into your classes, get involved with what's going on, try to talk to people about work if you don't know what else to say.

My best friend from uni just came and sat next to me during a lecture when we were asked to discuss in groups, and I'm very glad she did now! The worst that can happen is that it turns out you don't get on with certain people and then you can move to sit elsewhere. I was still talking to new people all the time in third year, it's never too late.


I'm not sure if it does, I assumed it would but if most uni don't then it probably doesn't. Which is bit of a relief.

In the few classes I've been too, the people in there were all in their own groups and stuff :/

But you made friends with her, from her just siting next to you. I might try that and hope I can make some friends, so I'm not so lonely at uni
You're supposed to find this hard, because it's something you have to work at. You feel uncomfortable? good. Keep going, you'll eventually feel OK and then you start to get good at being the friendly one, no matter what.

Uncomfortable is good. You'll either make yourself so uncomfortable you go the bad way, and don't socialize. Or you'll go the other way and learn to be uncomfy and learn how to be sociable.

Quick Reply

Latest