The Student Room Group

Boyfriend and Bestfriend

hi ,

Ok my dilemma,

I have been with my boyfriend 4 years.. we had a long distance relationship which we ended buy him moving up to my area and we recently got our own place.
my best friend is a boy, a year younger than me but we are so alike its unreal. we have such a funny time together.
anyway recently ive been having confusing feeling towards him. I love him to bits anyway but cannot get him out my head recently.
me and my boyfriend havnt been right for awhile but he really loves me and everytime I try to call it off or have abreak, he breaks down and I feel guilty so I give it another go. I don't want to hurt anyone in this situation and im not even entirely sure what I want. I have tried figuring it out, but I cant.
Please help!!! im at widths end!!
Original post by Girf
hi ,

Ok my dilemma,

I have been with my boyfriend 4 years.. we had a long distance relationship which we ended buy him moving up to my area and we recently got our own place.
my best friend is a boy, a year younger than me but we are so alike its unreal. we have such a funny time together.
anyway recently ive been having confusing feeling towards him. I love him to bits anyway but cannot get him out my head recently.
me and my boyfriend havnt been right for awhile but he really loves me and everytime I try to call it off or have abreak, he breaks down and I feel guilty so I give it another go. I don't want to hurt anyone in this situation and im not even entirely sure what I want. I have tried figuring it out, but I cant.
Please help!!! im at widths end!!


*wits end


You should not stay with your boyfriend because you feel sorry for him. Pity is not a healthy basis for a relationship
cole slaw's nailed it on the head.
Reply 3
Original post by cole-slaw
*wits end


You should not stay with your boyfriend because you feel sorry for him. Pity is not a healthy basis for a relationship


i don't pity him, I love him and cannot stand the idea of hurting him, which I know he will if I leave him. ive made him the person he is now. he was very unhappy and had no ambition before me. and if I leave him im scared he'll go back to the way he was and dwell on everything. because he is a dweller. but I cannot make myself be in love. I love him... but im not in love with him

I do not know.
Original post by Girf
I have no idea what this person is saying to me.

can I have constructive feedback please.

also, we just got a hosue together... only renting but... how harsh is that we've lived together 2 month and im already throwing the towel in. I feel stuck.


Who do you like more?

If it were me, I would look at grades, aesthetics and how affluent they are?

Don't do it with your best friend did that to mine, and now its just awkward.

Was fun tho.

Which one has better gcse grades?
Reply 5
Original post by ANEXIS kZstaR
Who do you like more?

If it were me, I would look at grades, aesthetics and how affluent they are?

Don't do it with your best friend did that to mine, and now its just awkward.

Was fun tho.

Which one has better gcse grades?


I don't care about GCSE's im 23. they actually don't mean **** when it comes to working, not really..

I wouldn't want to ruin my friendship but at the same time... I don't wanna live a life not knowing what would have happened. you know?
You have to break up with your bf. It's unfair to keep stringing him along.
Original post by Girf
hi ,

Ok my dilemma,

I have been with my boyfriend 4 years.. we had a long distance relationship which we ended buy him moving up to my area and we recently got our own place.
my best friend is a boy, a year younger than me but we are so alike its unreal. we have such a funny time together.
anyway recently ive been having confusing feeling towards him. I love him to bits anyway but cannot get him out my head recently.
me and my boyfriend havnt been right for awhile but he really loves me and everytime I try to call it off or have abreak, he breaks down and I feel guilty so I give it another go. I don't want to hurt anyone in this situation and im not even entirely sure what I want. I have tried figuring it out, but I cant.
Please help!!! im at widths end!!


Whilst it is always hard to end a 4 year relationship, it is better for both your sakes that you end things. There is no point staying in this relationship just for the sake of stopping him getting upset. Maybe you need time away from both guys to figure out what you really want.
Looks like you've already made your mind up. But let me drop this is there, what happens if you regret choosing your best friend, thinking what could have been?
Reply 9
Original post by WeedCanKill
Looks like you've already made your mind up. But let me drop this is there, what happens if you regret choosing your best friend, thinking what could have been?


i wouldn't go straight into anything anyway, id want to be on my own fro awhile. but we JUST got a house, 6 month lease. the thing that I keep thinking is if I stay with him, knowing how I feel.. then when it comes to weddings or stuff like that, i'll just be going through the motions. I don't think I'll truly be happy. but I love him and cannot bare hurting him. do I just need to man up? because that's hard for me. all I ever do is make other people happy.
Reply 10
also hes 28 and im 23... I don't want him to give up on love and be alone forever which is what I feel would happen.
Reply 11
Your job is not to carry other people through life, this may sound pretty brash but it seems quite obvious who you should be gunning for..
Reply 12
Original post by Tom78
Your job is not to carry other people through life, this may sound pretty brash but it seems quite obvious who you should be gunning for..


i know your right but, the house... his new life hes started up here.. its harsh init

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