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3rd week of Uni and still haven't made a single friend.

I guess I am either just not a great talker or people just aren't interesting in talking to me. Is it too early for me to start worrying?

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Reply 1
Avatar for 455409
455409
17
Give it time. Not everyone is naturally quick to make friends. Or you may not have much in common with your classmates.
Reply 2
Avatar for Luka96
Luka96
I was in a similar boat for the first week, but luckily I have one decent flatmate. I got unlucky as I have three 3rd years in my flat who already have their own social circles, but the best thing you can do is try and be more extroverted, which is hard of course if you're a bit shy.
I am quite literally the most anti-social person in the entire world, I hate most (if not all) people, and even I graduated with three friends who I'm still in touch with two years later. Honestly, if I made friends, there's hope for everyone.

Group work is a good way to start working with people, and that's bound to happen at some point. Have a look at what societies are offered by your SU and join one that interests you. Immediate conversation starter there.

But three weeks isn't really that much, so I honestly wouldn't worry.
Really and truly hope so but it is starting to get to me, in fact I'm actually losing sleep over this.
Original post by dammitjustdammit
I guess I am either just not a great talker or people just aren't interesting in talking to me. Is it too early for me to start worrying?


Definitely go join some clubs. I joined archery about this time in my first year well after the intro days. I just turned up one day. 4 years later I have friends for life from there.
I was shy when I first went to uni but luckily I found one good friend after a couple of weeks. As people are suggesting go to a club or chat to whoever you sit beside at lectures or tutorials etc. it may be nerve wrecking making that first move but it's worth it. Try not to worry too much, it will all work out okay in the end.
You cannot possibly have not made a single friend.
Reply 8
Avatar for Riku
Riku
2
Original post by cole-slaw
You cannot possibly have not made a single friend.


rub salt on the wound why don't you
Reply 9
Avatar for Riku
Riku
2
Original post by dammitjustdammit
I guess I am either just not a great talker or people just aren't interesting in talking to me. Is it too early for me to start worrying?


hi OP, sorry to hear about your situation. What has been your social strategy in those first few weeks? :smile:
Original post by Riku
rub salt on the wound why don't you


He must have at least spoken to someone.
Join stuff, get yourself out there, stand by a bus stop and talk to people waiting there, even just sit in the kitchen and talk to whoever comes in. Its hard being shy (presumption here, but I've been in a similar boat cause I just generally don't have much to say and people therefore presume I'm shy) There will be other people in your situation, you must have a common interest with someone across the whole uni. It does seem hard to meet people if you're not into drinks and clubs and stuff, but I promise you there are people out there who will like you for who you are.



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Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox
I am quite literally the most anti-social person in the entire world, I hate most (if not all) people, and even I graduated with three friends who I'm still in touch with two years later. Honestly, if I made friends, there's hope for everyone.

Group work is a good way to start working with people, and that's bound to happen at some point. Have a look at what societies are offered by your SU and join one that interests you. Immediate conversation starter there.

But three weeks isn't really that much, so I honestly wouldn't worry.


Good to hear you hate me :frown:


Original post by dammitjustdammit
I guess I am either just not a great talker or people just aren't interesting in talking to me. Is it too early for me to start worrying?


It's a common issue but everyone is in the same boat really, as daunting as it may seem you have to try and make an effort instead of expecting friends to just happen (not saying that's what you are doing but just advice:ninja:)

Easiest way to make friends would be to join societies/clubs, it's never too late to join and they'll always be welcoming. Email as many societies as you can and ask if you can go along just to experience it before joining. Then you can stick with the ones you like and it's easier to make friends there as they'll usually throw social events. As others have said, look up on SU to find social events made for freshers.

You could also just strike up conversation with another person in lectures and seminars, practicals are far easier as you'll have to work with others, but however large your lecture classes may be it's easy - you just sit next to someone who also seems to be in a similar boat and just strike up a convo about the course/lecture and ask them where they are from etc. If all goes well you ask if they are in the same classes as you and just say you'll want to keep contact.
It's even easier once you're with friends to make more friends, as they'll want to be included in the group.

If you live in halls, make an effort to get to know your flatmates, however old or busy they may seem, you can organise a social night for your flat, simple things - dinner together, cinema, party etc. It's sure to work, even if just one person turns up. Stick a friendly notice on the fridge if you don't see them.

There you go, getfunky's generic advice, you never know it may work.. :u:
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by getfunky!
Good to hear you hate me :frown:


I don't know you, so I shall remain open minded that you may well be the first human being that I don't perceive to be a total idiot :biggrin:.
Join the club, I have no friends either. It's really sad because I even make the effort to speak to people but most of the time they ignore me or say 'hi' quickly and then just walk off.
Reply 15
Avatar for Riku
Riku
2
Original post by cole-slaw
He must have at least spoken to someone.


going to be a dick here, 'spoke to someone' =/= 'made a friend'
Original post by Riku
going to be a dick here, 'spoke to someone' =/= 'made a friend'


Unless you're actively obnoxious, then in the first few weeks at uni it basically does, actually.

Do you remember their name? Yes
Do they hide behind a tree when they see you approaching? No

Then you have a friend. Go and invite him to the pub.
Reply 17
Avatar for Riku
Riku
2
Original post by cole-slaw
Unless you're actively obnoxious, then in the first few weeks at uni it basically does, actually.

Do you remember their name? Yes
Do they hide behind a tree when they see you approaching? No

Then you have a friend. Go and invite him to the pub.


let's tell OP this then :smile:
Original post by Riku
let's tell OP this then :smile:


Well I imagine he will be able to read the above post.

I think people expect too much from uni, no-one makes lifelong besties in the first month, you don't need to. You just need to find a few people that are vaguely willing to hang around with you
I'm also three weeks in. Just talk to people whenever you have the chance. When they are alone in lectures or classes just talk. First talk about educational stuff, and then background/where you live and lastly about personal interests. I did that in the first two weeks and have now made quite a few friends. 4-5 very good friends that I hang around with and many acquaintances. People always wonder how I know so many people but its just that I made the effort to talk. Anyone can make friends if you show interest.

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